Check Please!
Would we think differently if the world's trouble spots were on our doorsteps?
( Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. Although General Patton’s last words were reportedly, “This is a hell of a way to die”, a family member close to the bed asked “What do you see, General?” as he passed away, he whispered “Assholes & Elbows… Assholes & Elbows!”
Maryland’s Democratic controlled legislature seems to ignore the state’s real long term economic problems that have difficult solutions. They then create problems and feel good solutions that divert people’s attention, but are then ignored.
Distracted driving seems to have legislators filing bills about driving and texting (not a good idea), driving while using a cell phone, driving and drinking coffee, and possibly driving and scratching their butts. A new law enables Maryland police officers to stop an automobile for distracted driving as a primary offense.
Portsmouth, UK – (
For the second year in a row, Viral Magazine has voted a UK online publication Cafe Spike ‘the worst piece of trash since the ‘Lady Godiva Chronicles’ a similar online magazine from Canada which won the ‘Most Bizarre’ prize in 2010.
“Sadly, from the very first peek you know it’s a pure rubbish writing. The reader’s first look at the website gives the impression of technology done-on-the-cheap giving the site a year 2000 retro look."
OTTAWA, Canada (The Adobo Chronicles, Toronto Bureau) - Canada’s House of Commons passed Bill C-45 which legalized cannibalism. It wasn’t meant to be that way. What it hoped to pass was a bill that would legalize recreational marijuana, or cannabis. But thanks to autocorrect, it is still illegal to smoke pot but now legal to eat humans.…
Although you really admire your friends crafty skills, he might be going a little too far this year with his Christmas card project. For instance, murder.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - U.S. President Donald Trump reacted with a lot of insecurity to the announcement from the Royal Palace in London that Prince Harry is now engaged to be married to American Actress Meghan Markle. That makes Markle a potential heir to the throne of the Queen. Trump said that…
And if you find our guide helpful, keep your eyes peeled in 2018 for our supplemental webinars!
ST. LOUIS, MO - Due to budget constraints, the Valley Family Zoo has sold it’s most interesting animals such as tigers, giraffes, elephants, and hippos and replaced them with stray cats and dogs, pigeons, rodents, cockroaches, and chickens.
As we head into the Christmas season, many people are celebrating in that most traditional of ways: by shopping until midnight and spending money that they don’t have on presents that people don’t want. You may think that Uncle Joe from Cork will love that novelty nut-cracker in the shape of Baby Jesus, but the […]The post How to keep your home safe over the holidays appeared first on
"We will play until someone hits the ball past the green patch!" Mikey announces. As pitcher, I know this means we're in for a forever-inning.
For merely the tenth year in a row, the McClusky household has been thrown into turmoil upon the disquieting discovery that someone failed to put the Christmas lights away tidily. The calumnious deed was made worse by the fact that everything was covered in glitter and pine needles; while the box containing the crib scene...
After spending weeks in damage control against allegations that their candidate is a child molester, Roy Moore's campaign is now looking to mobilize Alabama's sizable pedophile population to put him over the top in his Senatorial race against Doug Jones.
Peoria, IL – (

The latest people to write the Emily Post, Amy Vanderbilt, Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and Hints from Heloise column have all joined together to create a guide for etiquette in the 21st century.

Several clones of Michael Jackson, made a few years before his death, have been discovered in a Catholic Monastery in the New Mexico mountainous desert. The young boys, all aged between three and six years old, are being raised happily by the priests.
The two sides will take the field and engage each other in a horrific scene of carnage to settle once and for all which of them is keeper of the ultimate truth.

Hyannisport, MA-(

Workers at the Oldsmobile Memorial Cemetery in Hyannisport Massachusetts were busy today placing 30 ton concrete blocks upon the grave site of one of the Democratic party’s most revered Senators…Senator Ted Kennedy!
Beijing, China – (

Life in the Chinese gay closet was lonely for Choi Lee. No friends. No one to talk to about your problem. Just you and yourself shuttered away from life and reality, afraid the authorities will discover your secret and take you away somewhere that’s really secret too.

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!

Get today's toon from