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The Russians are helping! The Russians are helping! The Daily Discord is pleased to announce a prominent Web Traffic Analyzer from Moscow, John Smith, plans to help our website receive more traffic by expanding our social media presence and improving our Google ranking. And, since they are such big fans, they’re offering an extended free trial for their services until…
What’s your sign? Check out your and every other jerk’s Funny Horoscope March 2018, right here! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! And you could be wrong.
Hollywood, CA – (
Disney unveiled the next Star Wars episode set to begin filming in July. The popular franchise will bow to current political pressure by allowing the entire cast to represent true modern body styles by including some real Hollywood ‘heavyweights’ as lead characters. The film’s title is sketchy, but insiders say it’s Escape From Planet of the Large.
Health and Safety Officials have issued a $5,000 reward for who ever put out a bagged body ignoring recycling efforts imposed by the local Peckham council.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong-un, has invited President Trump to meet for negotiations over its nuclear program, a diplomatic overture that would bring together two strong-willed, idiosyncratic leaders who have traded threats of war. The White House said that Mr. Trump had accepted the invitation. For security reasons,…
Coming quickly on the heels of Communications Director Hope Hicks's own resignation last week, the latest member of Trump's inner-circle and the 205th staffer to quit the administration in the last two months is another major blow to a presidency in turmoil, some say.
The Satire World Political Quiz

The rules are simple. We will give you a quote and you have to guess what great American said it. Your four choices are Ex-President Barack Obama, Ex-President George W. Bush, former Vice President Dan Quayle, or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
Good Luck…
The bloke standing outside the supermarket with a massive umbrella has finally shifted an RAC membership, he has claimed.
The Frozen North—At the edge of the permafrost region of the Alaskan Arctic Circle-K, just north of the Home Depot, a group of intrepid explorers have discovered the best preserved remains of the elusive Snuffleupagus. Expedition head Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Gastropub, told reporters, “This discovery changes everything we know about early Pleistocene Muppets. For one…
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 3/5/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
An NRA ad released on March 4 called out “every Hollywood phony” and the “lying media” to put them on notice that their “time is running out.”
The ad was released just hours before the 90th Oscars began. It promotes NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch’s new show and is clearly intended to send the signal that the claims of leftists in Hollywood, the media, and pro-athletes will not go unchallenged.
Philadelphia PA:
The USS Barack Obama commissioning ceremonies were held here today. This vessel is the first of the new Propaganda class ships that employ a green energy propulsion system.
LOS ANGELES, CA - The oral hygiene company Crest has unveiled the latest in teeth coloring technology. Its new line of teeth coloring strips will start out with 5 color options: blue, green, red, purple, and orange. The product is expected to hit store shelves later this year.
In a bold move to force the Chinese to reduce their trade deficit with the US, President Trump enacted tariffs on his next door neighbor.
Fort Knox, Kentucky

Officials at the US Depository, better known as Fort Knox, have found the need for adding more secure storage room at the 80 year old facility built to store the nation’s gold during the Roosevelt era when private gold ownership was outlawed. Located in rural Kentucky the official US Gold Depository is home to the United State’s gold reserves reported to be valued at $750 billion dollars.

Washington, DC
Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) is proposing “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act”. After the IRS gave unbelievable excuses as to why it could not produce emails that were lost by the Obama IRS namely Lois Lerner and six other people. Stockman is proposing that we all should be able to avail ourselves of similarly lame excuses that reap the same benefits the Obama appointees enjoyed.
Washington, DC – (
As hundreds of Toyota pick-up trucks delivered furnishings and military equipment to the new Afghanistan Taliban embassy on Washington, DC’s ‘K’ Street address, the United States State Department sent over a house warming gift of a dozen bagels and assorted fruits.
Washington DC: (
Secretary of the Department of Education Arne Duncan has announced that in order to graduate from a US high school a five question 8 hour exam will be giving to each graduating senior. The test will show how well the student can read, write and comprehend mathematics based on Common Core concepts. The test questions will change with every new graduating class.
Raising the stakes in a looming trade war, an angry Canada announced today that it will respond in part to President Trump's announced tariffs on foreign steel and aluminum with a ban on US porn.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Xi Jinping recently abolished term limits for China’s presidency, paving the way for the possibility that he will be president for life. President Donald Trump praised the Chinese leader’s decision and indicated that the U.S. can learn something from Jinping’s decision. In the Philippines, while Rodrigo Duterte has…

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