Check Please!
In a concerted effort to protect our own from further desecration and prejudice, we secretly replace all Gentile bodies with dead Jews. Standard procedure within the Conspiracy.
Naturalists have announced their plans to release a small troop of Survey Monkeys back into the wild. In news which has been welcomed by both animal rights groups and weary survey participants around the world, it was explained that the rare breed of monkeys were due to be released into a secret destination later this...
Iowa—Jeb Turley of Podunk Falls has made a living off of his predictions, well, that and dumpster diving. Two years ago he predicted all pizza crust would come stuffed with cheese and early last year he announced Trump would become the 45th president of the United States. This year he has become obsessed with werewolves and believes they will replace mankind as…
BREAKING NEWS: Angela Merkel belted out her true feelings in the shower today. Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, was recorded singing this variation of “Getting to Know You,” the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from the musical The King and I, in the shower...
McDonald’s CEO, Steve Easterbrook, held a press conference yesterday to finally acknowledge a condition that millions and millions of customers around the globe have had to struggle with for years, sometimes decades: McRegret.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - German Chancellor Angela Merkel and U.S. President Donald Trump met Friday and Reuters is reporting that their first face-to-face encounter "started awkwardly" and "ended even more oddly." The Adobo Chronicles was there at The White House to capture Merkel's reaction to the meeting. Pictures don't lie, although we do,…
Donald was embarrassed in Knoxville. He said security kept many fans waiting outside. Doubt that, Donny; they were protesters.
A conspiracy-minded green thumb insists malevolent forces are using common horticulture as a means of spying on the everyday activities of regular Americans.
So, you want the inside scoop on Snuffy, Big Bird’s best pal? Well, here’s the cold, hard truth: Mr. Snuffalupagus wasn’t imaginary at all, he was a crook.
The menacing looking year 10 lads who are always at the back of the bus when you get on for school are much, much harder than you, found a study today. Long thought to be the case from anecdotal playground gossip and your elder brother’s teasing at the dinner table, the research found that teenagers...
Zano’s recent reflections on our decade-plus debate showed some rare insights. What next, funny jokes? The causes of our nation’s polarization are many, but there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to our political divisions. I’ve recently come to the conclusion the ultra-powerful people in the world do prosper by keeping our nation divided. They do this by…
May the odds be ever in your favor to win health care – but if you lose, you won’t need it anymore anyway! In the wake of a report from the Congressional Budget Office estimating that 24 million more people would end up uninsured under the Republicans’ proposed health care program, White House Press Secretary...
May, who personally packs a lunchbox for each of her cabinet members, left a personal message for her Foreign Secretary after the pair had yet another falling out over the details of Brexit.
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) - A federal judge in Hawaii issued a nationwide temporary restraining order Wednesday that bars the implementation of President Donald Trump’s revised executive order on immigration and refugees. This is the second blow to the president's bid to restrict U.S. entry for people from six Muslim-majority countries. Well, Mr. Trump…
Migratory birds are arriving at their breeding grounds earlier than they previously did because they’ve bought into the liberal lie that global warming is real, according to researchers at Liberty University.
President Donald Trump’s administration is strongly urging that any investigation into possible Russian influence in last year’s presidential election be led by a relatively unknown person with a peculiar name.
The Official Guide to Big Boy's Gestures (excluding nose picks and crotch scratching).
Are senior Labour party figures secretly planning to replace Jeremy Corbyn and Tom Watson with robots? Leadership 'upgrade' seen as essential after trials show mechanical leadership more charismatic and popular with voters.

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