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I can't help but wonder, are the things that made me an unappealing romantic companion to Gretchen the same things that make me an unappetizing meal to witches?
The FBI traditionally offers peripheral players plea deals, working inward like termites of justice. The initial grand jury indictments in special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation have dropped like a box of rocks and include something...
Attorney General Jeff Sessions denied that lying behind his smug smirk is a pack of lies — at least, not that he recalls.
In an under-reported story Trump berated as ‘fake news,’ astonished onlookers witnessed the first-ever turkey pardoning of a president. According to witnesses, in an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity...
Thanks for reading some of the recent social media and IT articles we’ve posted recently. Some of you will be aware that the Medium journal “IT Emperor” (why haven’t you joined Medium yet?), which is edited by One Tongue Johnny, is being phased out; and almost all the content is being placed on Glossy News, […]The post The End of IT Emperor, and a Turbo-Boost for Glossy News appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
by Jennifer Hollie Bowles.What’s your sign? Check out your and every other jerk’s February 2018 horoscope right here! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! And you could be wrong. Just ... Read moreHoroscopes for Jerks: February, 2018Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
A word like “big” in a title can become a big deal. The Big Sleep, 1946; The Big Hurt, 1959; The Big Valley, 1965; The Big Chill, 1983 and in 1998, a really humongous biggie called, The Big Lebowski. Too bad 2017 seems to be...
‘We haven’t seen this particular approach before, in which a man quite brazenly waves a large deposit at sales staff before producing a pen and ruthlessly signing document after document, before riding off on his healthily-gotten gains,’ said a police spokesman.
We survived our Italian summer – it was tough, but someone’s got to do it! It’s hard to learn even the most basic tourist phrases of another language (hello; excuse me; pardon the fart; where is the toilet?; waiter, the check!; please remove your thumb from my nose) in 4 weeks.
Nogales, AZ—An angry Tweet from Donald Trump has enslaved thousands of ‘snowflake’ liberals for the single purpose of building his promised border wall. The President told the press today, “I said the Mexicans would pay for the wall and clearly some of the folks we detained this week are pretty brown, really brown people. Sure, some are just tan because we picked them…
Tweet Tower—President Trump is finally shifting to center. He has a plan to pitch some political compromises in the hopes of luring democrats toward his nefarious agenda. The President wants to utilize green energies to increase our military prowess and expand our nuclear arsenal. Trump said, “Just think if nuclear bombs could be created more efficiently, like by wind power.…
Dateline: HOLLYWOOD—The American movie industry has been releasing the simplest possible movies for overseas markets, especially in China, to pay back the Chinese for flooding the American market with shoddy merchandise, according to Hollywood insider, Wily Hangeron. “Hollywood” no longer cares about making quality films,” said Mr. Hangeron. “North American audiences are cynical about movies […]
In shocking news, a proven pedophile nearly got elected Senator in the United States of America. In the biggest story since the Virginia and New Jersey elections, a stunning event happened in a southern American state.
Fogeys, fops and dandies are ‘joyful’ today as the season for using words like ’tis, ’twas and ‘twixt has arrived. ‘I love those olde-worlde, Dickensian words and expressions,’ said articled clerk Roger Tweed, 57. ‘I was only saying to Mrs Tweed on the 16th inst. how splendid it will be to ask people what their...
The Russians are helping! The Russians are helping! The Daily Discord is pleased to announce a prominent Web Traffic Analyzer from Moscow, John Smith, plans to help our website receive more traffic by expanding our social media presence and improving our Google ranking. And, since they are such big fans, they’re offering an extended free trial for their services until…
Nearly 50 years on, the survivors of the Poseidon Adventure are still waiting to be permanently re-housed on dry land. Rosen, Martin, Nonnie, Susan and Robin, who all managed to make their way through the watertight doors and into the propeller shaft tunnel before finding a way to attract the attention of rescuers have been...
Washington, D.C.—The White House is downplaying a fire that started earlier today in Chief Strategist Steve Bannon’s office, or, more specifically, his liquor drawer. The fire occurred as Mr. Bannon was trying to recreate the Flaming Moe, a fictional drink of Simpsons’ fame. The flames quickly spread from the liquor drawer to one of President Trump’s auxiliary hair…
In response to the bewildering number of price comparison sites now competing to save you money on everything from travel to car insurance, a new comparison site, Shitehawk.com, has been launched to help consumers compare them. ‘I wasn’t sure whether Go Compare, Compare the Market, Confused.com or Money Supermarket would save me most on my...

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