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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
Republicans will pull out all the stops to defeat the anchor baby horde. Prepare for earth-shattering news — immigration has become a key issue in the race for the Republican nomination. Yes. Again. It’s what folks in the garden industry call a perennial. Or rather, biennial, as it happens like clockwork every year ...
Bobby Jindal is dropping out of the presidential race and is blaming republican frontrunner, Donald Trump. The Donald claimed the only real “dropping” originated with his parents. Trump believes Jindal’s very foreign parents abandoned him on the steps of the Louisiana Governor’s office at the tender age of 34. He was then taken in by then Governor, Kathleen Blanco, who he eventually…
Practically every wealthy nation today is making major investments in building high speed rail networks to transport their people, but not the USA.
Washington—Congress has advanced a bill encouraging people from war-ravaged parts of the Middle East to: “Stay the F put and make the best of it.” This bill also caps the number of refugees arriving from this region of the world to four. Those four lucky new Americans must agree to be blessed with Holy Water as…
HT Exclusive: We have the Putin and Assad transcript! A most intriguing phone call between the two most-beloved dictators in the world.
Las Vegas,  NV—It’s been awhile since I’ve paid homage to the Guinness Gods, but I wish I was returning to this topic under better circumstances. I bring terrible news. It’s not about the Mets; it’s much worse. Guinness is taking the trace amounts of fish bladder from their famous malt-roasted magic. I know, I know,…
“Spotlight” – a film review by Gary Chew Seeing Spotlight almost made me feel homesick. Not for a place, but for a place in time when covering important events was not supplanted with infotainment or blatant propaganda. Tom McCarthy’s film, which he and Josh Singer wrote, gives us a look into how the investigative team...
In a deal many republicans are calling “reckless” and “shortsighted”, The Department of Defense has traded the last of the Guantanamo detainees to the Colorado Avalanche. This move follows other controversial deals that have scattered the prisoners into several teams across the National Hockey League. One detainee is already in critical condition after being ‘Zamboni-boarded’ between periods by his own teammates. Senator…
The New New World Order (A serial book excerpt) Previous installments: After Flight 93 crashes into the White House on 9/11/2001 killing President Bush as was originally planned, Dick Cheney, the Vice President, is made the leader of the country. He begins immediately to make changes.
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don't have to, like: "David Hasselhoff changed name to David Hoff" - So, David Hoff is now "hassle free."
The cries for Obama to resign for his foreign policy impotence grows deafening. At last week’s G-20 Summit, the Prez expressed his overarching strategy to combat terrorism, albeit unenthusiastically. I share his Low-T response. But why the militaristic sad face? …well, Reagan’s efforts to quell the Soviet Union helped create al-Qaeda and Bush’s efforts in Iraq helped create…
by Michael Egan.The Constitution ‘simply represents an ideal’ that Americans should strive for, says the man under the floppy hairpiece. NEW YORK – Mussolini look- and act-alike Donald Trump said today that the American people should “consider suspending our Constitution, temporarily of course,” until what he called the “ISIS crisis” has been resolved and everyone is safe [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
  Moscow—To the dismay of billions, Turkey has ironically chosen Thanksgiving to end the world. With tensions already high, Turkish Prime Minster Ahmet Davutoğlu raised the ante. He mooned Russian President Vladimir Putin before letting fly a barrage of inappropriate gestures and sounds a la the French-taunter scene from Monty Python’s Holy Grail. As a…
"Americans don't need the world's tired and poor anymore, we're full," he says of the Statue of Liberty.

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