BLAGNAC, France (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  The Airbus A380 , a double-deck, wide-body, four-engine jet airliner manufactured by Airbus, remains the world's largest passenger airliner todate, and the airports at which it operates have upgraded facilities to accommodate it. But even this massive aircraft is not big enough to fully accommodate the increasing volume…

English Village Gripped by Fear Every Christmas as Non-Festive Residents Brutally Murdered by Mystery Assailant! Is 'Christmastein Monster' Responsible for Yule Themed Slayings?

LSU’s legendary sports play-by-play broadcaster is retiring in the spring, and to commemorate his last LSU football season, Jim Hawthorne plans to call attention throughout the season to arguably the most notable football call of his 35-year career as the Voice of the Tigers.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, former Vice President Dick Cheney voiced his considerable displeasure with the nuclear agreement reached between the Obama administration and Iran. Cheney also announced his intention to travel to Iran and shoot Ayatollah Ali Khamenei - Supreme Leader of Iran - in the face with birdshot.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles®) - In the latest poll of the 2016 Republican candidates for president, Donald Trump has climbed up to the top spot, beating Jeb Bush by more than 2%. Trump and Bush are the only ones with double digit numbers in the crowded field of GOP presidential candidates. Little do voters know that…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the conservative think tank Work Harder, America (WHA) released the results of a study on tax cuts for the wealthy, and government services cuts for the vast majority of Americans. The study clearly showed the wealthy paying less in taxes had nothing to do with tax revenue shortfalls that gave conservatives a pretext to assert government budgets must be balanced by austerity measures targeting critical services like education, food assistance, healthcare, and infrastructure.

MANILA, Philippines  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - If it weren't for the statute of limitations and American comedian Bill Cosby would be charged for alleged multiple rapes he committed, his only way out would be in the Philippines. By marrying his accusers. Republic Act 8353 (The Anti-Rape Law of 1997), absolves the rapist from criminal…

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles®) - A bi-partisan majority of members of the Philippines' House of Representatives and Senate have rejected a second term for President NoyNoyAquino, or his successors. The constitution limits the presidential term to six years with no re-election. There has been a lot of speculation that the Aquino camp was trying to…

Jeremy, Sunny, and Mike Honore wonder what perks would warrant analingus in exchange for a job at JL's Place. Sunny and Mike also re-enact a grandmother getting conned out of $13,000.

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Nearly a billion common houseflies buzzed the nation's capital today to protest a bill that would require flies to show two forms of photo identification when purchasing fly-swatters.  The bill, authored by Sen. Patrick Miyagi (D-HI), has passed the Senate and has been sent to President Obama. Proponents of the proposed new law argue…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, TNA released the results of a study on what would happen if a federal building was seized by a group of armed Black Americans last weekend. Its conclusion was if such a group seized a federal building and its members dared federal authorities to attack them their funerals would be ending right about now.

"But on the other hand, if little cute puppy there got a splinter in the underside doing that, that would be the howliest, gnarliest, sound you have ever heard. It would dissolve that smiley child's face into a red mass of water and sobby half spoken breaths. Even I would downclick that." Jessie Krufts, Incinerator Manager

In 1998, the editors of New York Magazine decided to put black-and-white photos of all of Bill Clinton’s accusers and former mistresses on a single cover.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) escalated the shameless stupidity being voiced by delusional Republicans who think they are qualified to be president. Rubio, who claimed he was "anti-choice," stated that Cecil - a widely known Zimbabwe lion killed and decapitated by an impotent Minnesota dentist named Dr. Walter J. Palmer - "should have just gone to Planned Parenthood to die."

PALO ALTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan have announced that they are having a baby girl. This, after revealing that she has had several  miscarriages. The proud parents posted a family photo with their dog Beast on Facebook. Zuckerberg even revealed that during an ultrasound, the…

"I need to get me some Thug Life sunglasses. Or a pretty bird." Jimmy Popper, Punches Above His Weight

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Democratic presidential campaign of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton followed up last night's debate by asserting its candidate would make sure Americans continued to be unable to "have nice things." Secretary Clinton addressed the press this morning and explained her wealthy donors would never allow her to give all Americans healthcare as a human right, effectively regulate the financial sector, solve mass incarceration causes like for-profit prisons and mandatory minimum sentences for drug offenses, and a whole host of other things...

The cheeky smile on a local man from Layer Under Haye, who died last year, has finally been explained after his name was found on the Ashley Madison database.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Fox News and conservatives from around the country continued to make respectful statements of support and give their best wishes to former President Jimmy Carter, who announced he has brain cancer and a grim prognosis. The reverent tone of the conservative statements to Carter encouraged many Americans that perhaps all semblance of respectful discourse may not have been removed from their country's politics.

"I said to one of the park attendants: 'Oh come on, a smile isn't going to kill you.' And so she eventually smiled and then clutches her chest and acted dead. That told me. Banksy 1 Jessie 0." Jessie Krufts, Cynic