Check Please!
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Last night, Fox News talking head Bill O'Reilly used his show "The O'Reilly Factor" to assert a video showing him kicking a puppy was "100% false." O'Reilly played the video in which he could clearly be seen kicking a puppy and blamed "the liberal media" for producing the footage.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Congressional Republicans announced they were preparing for Pope Francis' Thursday morning address to a joint session of Congress. Party leaders said they had constructed a gold-plated cage for the pontiff to sit in, and collected rotten food for Republicans to throw at Pope Francis when he lectured the GOP on the seriousness of climate change, and how Republicans must stop their attacks on the poor, sick, disabled, veterans, and so many other groups.
DC has floundered as rival comic company Marvel has soared in recent years. With every record-breaking movie Marvel released, from Iron Man to Guardians of the Galaxy, DC executives tore their hair out and tried to reverse-engineer Marvel’s success.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The National Aeoronautics and Space Administration (NASA) is expected to announce on Monday that scientists have discovered on the surface of the red planet what appears to be debris from earth. NASA is preparing to reveal  the “major science finding” in a special news conference that will take place at…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a number of Republicans demanded President Obama and his family vacate the White House so the residence could be prepared for the next president. Republicans asserted the whole interior of the White House needed to be repainted, among other things, and such tasks would be much easier if the Obamas were no longer living there.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admiari) - In the wake of yet another senseless mass shooting in America, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced its presidential candidates had pledged to make every future campaign event - including debates - a "mandatory gun zone" to show their support for a gross misreading of the Second Amendment. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus denied Republican candidates were forced to choose whether to support the mandatory gun zone edict or drop out of the race, and declared candidates were required to give a gun to any supporter that showed up at a campaign event...
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump may be having a dose of his own medicine, thanks to Native Hawaiians who want the real estate mogul evicted from Waikiki. All of Hawaii's land of course belonged to the Native Hawaiians before the Americans overthrew the Monarchy in 1893 and annexed the…
SYRIA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Syrian civilians who have not fled their war-torn country declared they largely did not know what air strikes were "friendly" and what air strikes were "hostile." They also explained Russia's bombing of Syria had made identifying whether civilians were being killed by a "friendly air strike" or a "hostile air strike" even more difficult.
Las Vegas –  Bad ass Marine and democratic hopeful James Henry Webb Jr. generally kept his cool Tuesday evening in the city of sin.  He moved his lips and made some incredibly compelling snake-like hand gestures that played well with voters. 
Hildale, UT –  Six year old Amanda Cousins showed fear and shock after getting an open hand smacking of her butt, like a beaver slamming his tail on top of a river. 
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton ignored all questions from the Select Committee on Benghazi, which infuriated Republican committee members. Rather than listening to and answering questions, Clinton gave the whole event very low priority and sat calmly in her chair as she read a children's book by the name of "The Pet Goat."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the results of a TNA study revealed the United States has a dangerous surplus of self-proclaimed Second Amendment experts that are virtually all pro-gun, and feel obligated to defend the right to bear arms no matter how many people are killed by firearms. A startling 63% of Americans claimed to be Second Amendment experts, and virtually everyone in that group lacked the proper education required to substantiate such a claim.
Bangor, ME – The largest and most successful drug retailing chain in the United States is facing controversy in one of its potential markets for growth.  There are several Walgreens stores already in the state of Maine and expansion has looked very promising.  
Mumbai – As all of the new potential presidential nominees line up and begin to jockey for position, several well known fact checkers have revealed that there jobs have suddenly been outsourced to India.  It comes as a shock to several long time employees of
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - There were only twenty world leaders  who showed up at the welcome rites for the Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit Meeting Wednesday afternoon. There should have been  twenty one. Missing was U.S. President Barack Obama. In a statement explaining Obama's absence, a spokesperson for the U.S. Embassy in Manila said…
DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles) - Texas is among the 32 states that still have the death penalty on their books. The Lone Star State is known for the most number of executions. In an effort to rid itself of the unsavory reputation as the 'killer state,' and to cut down on the state government's enormous…
Are Eastern European Immigrants Vampires and Werewolves Literally Draining UK's Lifeblood? Extraordinary UKIP Claims on Eve of General Election!
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - It was supposed to happen at 4 p.m. Pacific time on Thursday, May 28: an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in California, brought about by the alignment of the planets. The prediction came from Dutch Frank Hoogerbeets, the same man who predicted the recent devastating quake in Nepal. By 3:59 p.m,…
To paraphrase the theme of Bill Clinton's 1992 underdog campaign, “It's the exorcism, stupid.”

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