Kodiak – Observers to the recent friendship and alliance that bears and wolves have formed are impressed, yet startled at the bond they have created.
Anaheim, CA – Most of the nation’s foremost experts in the field of Christianity will meet in in November of 2016 to discuss a variety of key topics. This meeting of the Christian Leadership Alliance will pull in only the best of the best to reflect specifically on the current ending of The Lord’s Prayer.
I make it a rule never to argue with drunks. Not even when I'm drunk myself. But especially not when I'm sober - alcoholic intoxication impairs the ability
ARTISANAL PRESS — The United States Congress passed a motion during a special session this weekend, heretofore designating the popular deep-fried potato strips menu item in the Congressional cafeteria as “French fries.” The motion was intended as a display of solidarity with the people of France, following the recent terrorist attacks in Paris.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was drafting all of her campaign donors between the ages of 18 and 25 for ground combat roles in the war she planned to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) following her inauguration in 2017. Clinton touted her gender inclusiveness in the process, and noted both men and women were being automatically volunteered for military service to fight in her future Middle East wars of choice.
Being locked up deprives you of plenty of things that make life bearable — surgical gender reassignment can simply be added to the list.
PHOENIX, ARIZONA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and extremely bored billionaire Donald Trump invited Black Lives Matter activists to his "Dogs & Fire Hoses Rally" in Phoenix later this week in order to open a dialogue. Trump supporters are being encouraged to bring breeds of dogs usually used by law enforcement agencies from home - if they have them - to facilitate the exchange of ideas during the rally, but Black Lives Matter activists in Phoenix have told TNA they were told to only bring themselves.
ANKARA, TURKEY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan announced he was "blackout drunk" when he ordered a Russian Su-24 shot down on Tuesday. Erdoğan claimed to be completely sober again, and declared there was no reason for Russia to station naval vessels with anti-aircraft missiles closer to Turkey, or construct anti-aircraft batteries in Syria capable of shooting down aircraft in Turkish airspace.
"With this exciting advance from the Disney Genetic Imagineering Team, we are proud to bring Walt Disney's vision of a unique world of entertainment into the 21st century!"
SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a small government Republican declared he was outraged by the rising costs of prescription drugs in the United States. Thomas Basil, a construction worker and married father of two, blamed big government for too much regulation and taxation, and asserted allowing the free market to regulate itself was the only way to remedy the problem of expensive prescription drugs.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles ) - It is common knowledge that the former Bruce Jenner was a Republican. It is therefore not a surprise that among the first to welcome Caitlyn into their fold was the Log Cabin Republicans. Log Cabin Republicans is the nation’s original and largest organization representing gay conservatives and allies who support…
BARCELONA, Spain (The Adobo Chronicles) - In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) formally defined "planet," and the new definition excluded Pluto and reclassified it as a member of the new "dwarf planet" category. It was a move that disappointed many Plutonians. Discovered in 1930, Pluto was originally considered the ninth planet from the sun. Many…
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Sony Pictures has just announced that Cameron Crowe has been chosen to direct a new film about the white woman who has been posing as African American. The film is titled "Spokane," named after the city in which Rachel Dolezal headed the local NAACP chapter. Crowe, who has come under…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama designated the National Rifle Association (NRA) a Domestic Terrorist Organization and instructed the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to destroy the highly organized terror network "for waging a campaign of terror on the American people." Both DHS and the FBI - who have been warning of right-wing terrorism for years - have already raided NRA Headquarters in Fairfax, Virgina, and arrested key members of the organization they hope will help lead them to NRA leader Wayne Lapierre.
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