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PORTLAND, OR — “These people come here, they take our jobs, they ruin the economy, they bring down the whole neighborhood.”
The meeting is set to last between thirty to sixty minutes depending on just how quickly Trump kowtows to all of Putin’s demands.
Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerburg spent his entire afternoon crafting an eloquent response to a rather insidious comment made on a Facebook post.
Self-respecting women all over the globe are giving up their struggle for equality with men, and are now fighting for something – anything – else.
Michelle Obama can no longer claim the title of being the first Black First Lady. Historical Researchers have uncovered documents that show Thomas Jefferson actually married his slave Sally Hemings, making her the first Black First Lady. Jefferson, a widower after the death of wife Martha Wayles (died in 1782), was the third President of the United States. It is believed that he fathered six children with Sally Hemings (the first while serving as a Minister to France).
A loosely grouped collection of scientists, philosophers and laypeople have fundamentally agreed that bed is the place to be and any attempt to get you out of bed should be resisted as strongly as possible.
PORTLAND, OR — Multiple witnesses observe historic procedure.
Central Florida, USA – (

The first annual ‘Red-Hot & You’ SatireWorld Fourth of July party was a success due a great country music band ‘The Curlies’ and hundreds of party animals looking for a place to relax and enjoy being around bikini models, satireworld writers, and meeting other fans from all over the US and Europe.
It’s not known at this time how ISIS (the terrorist organisation) will react to this bold move from President Trump.
The NRA has decided to focus on health and fitness this week when a study showed that 75% of men who carry guns regularly are not physically fit enough to be of any use during an active shooter situation.
Blountstown, FL – (

The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discover of gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places to live in America.
Donald Trump has once again stunned his critics by posting a second video of edited WWE footage of him wrestling a man with Kim Jong-un's head superimposed on the man he's wrestling, according to someone with a Twitter account who was aghast at the news.
PORTLAND, OR — City to expand on success of “Tiny Houses for the Homeless” program.
Oh, hey everybody! If it isn't my son Donald, the big shot President! Just look at him, sitting at his big, snazzy desk in his big, important Oval Office in his big, fancy White House. Whoop-dee doo!
“It’s still so hard to talk about,” Daryl recounted slowly as he rocked back and forth in his chair, the dim light of the iPad casting a glow on his contorted face...
ARTISANAL PRESS — Voice of sanity needed to call-out the hyperbole that is inciting people to violence.
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) - The hit TV series 'Hawaii Five-O' has just lost two of its lead Asian Actors -- Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park. Their characters, Chin Ho Kelly and Kono Kalakaua, will not appear in the upcoming eighth season. The characters' absence will be referenced in the season premiere.…
After seatting down one day four a leasurly reed of of his favurit fillosofer, Camoo, redired engrish pufesor Graham Hurnozty had a crishis of egzistenchal portions...
Trump was going to declare war on North Korea via Twitter when he dropped his phone in the toilet.
CAPRICORN Dec 22 - Jan 19
A hostage situation, or maybe you have locked yourself out again, is in prospect this month.

Praying to the sun, and barking at the moon, will continue to be problematic at times, especially when it is cloudy and you aren't sure where the moon is at night. Remember that perseverance is generally the curse of those who have nothing else to do whose only hope is that something might eventually turn up.

This month your destiny is too busy mourning to bother.

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