Check Please!

Cairo, IL – (satireworld.com)
Cairo police were tagged as racist and quick-on-the-gun after a hastily formed riot squad descended upon a gathering of Congresswoman Maxine Waters supporters assembling in a local park.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - The Philippines holds several world records but nothing could be more significant than the possiblity of a record of having three sitting Presidents. Simultaneously. It’s looking more and more that Senate Minority Leader and actor-comedian Tito Sotto of the inseparable showbiz trio Tito, Vic (Sotto) and Joey (De Leon) could…
Dedicated to 'Covering female issues from a male perspective', Rose and a panel comprised of Scott Baio, Anthony Weiner and Oliver Stone spent the program's inaugural episode exploring topics ranging from the #MeToo movement and ladies-only gyms to the pros and cons of tampons.
Once immensely popular, and now all but forgotten, the characters of the game Pokèmon Go struggle to eek out a living on the streets of America.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - GMA News is reporting that Senator Chiz  Escudero and his wife, actress Heart Evangelista are pregnant! This makes Escudero the world’s first pregnant heterosexual man. Previously, Thomas Beatie held the disinction as the world’s first pregnant male.  Beatie, a trans man, had gender reassignment surgery in March 2002…
Ames, Iowa – (SatireWorld.com)
It was a beautiful summer day in Ames, Iowa. The state Fair was in full swing, and thousands of patrons strolled the midway in search of the perfect summer’s dream…Good country food, fine samplings of drink, and the stalwart of carnival fare…The Corn Dog!
Emora, NM – (satireworld.com)

Key leaders in the Democratic Party are calling for the ban of Romaine Lettuce (now called assault lettuce). According to figures from the CDC (Center for Disease Control), there have now been more than 150 reported cases of food borne illness reported in over 30 states due to Assault Lettuce. There have already been deaths.
Although normally withheld until October, the Nobel Committee today released the nomination of NBA great Dennis Rodman for its Peace Prize, saying that the award is a foregone conclusion.
A man who used an assault rifle to save a Hawaiian neighborhood from a flow of hot lava is being hailed as a hero today.
Top academic blasts 'right wing cry babies' for over sensitivity to issues such as race, gender and equality. Argues the 'right and wrong' need to grow up and stop whining on social media about 'unfairness' of having their privilege threatened by minorities.
Time travelling frauds and flat earth idiots - why does our media continue to promote these crackpots? Should we be happy to allow the mentally ill to be exploited by the press? After all, it isn't fair on them, it certainly isn't fair on readers to continually be served up their fantasies rather than real news.
Did government outsource 'Hostile Environment policy for illegal immigrants to extreme right wing groups? Allegations that neo-Nazis employed by Home Office to intimidate alleged illegals with burning crosses and racist attacks.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.
Looking to beef up his team of attorneys, the president turned to the 6'7" wrestling superstar to take down the Mueller investigation. Or at least get it hung up on the ropes.
Seeking to "stem the flow of rumor and innuendo", Donald Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani acknowledged the existence of a non-disclosure agreement between the President and Barkie the dog, a Corgi who Trump reportedly spent part of an afternoon with during the run-up to the 2016 election.
After a sleepless night of overwhelming anxiety, Americans staggered from their beds and into the teeth of another relentless assault of breaking news.
Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

The Democratic National Committee (DNC) chaired by Tom Perez has sent out a Request for Proposals (RFP) to all 50 states to bid on constructing a suitable monument to the 44th POTUS, Barack Obama. The selected monument must be “shovel ready!” This measure was necessary because the federal government has refused to add Mr. Obama to Mount Rushmore located in South Dakota.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - This week’s issue of TIME magazine features the world’s strongmen on its cover and main story.  U.S. President Donald Trump is not among them, but the Philippines’ Rodrigo Duterte is. Today, Trump called Duterte to congratulate him for being afforded the rare honor along with Russian President Vladimir Putin,…
Morgan, Kansas (satireworld.com)

A Kansas man attempting to insert his penis into the tailpipe of a car had to be subdued with a stun gun after refusing to listen to police.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Grab, the now monopolistic alternate mode of commute for Filipinos, can be very convenient for most people.  But it can also be very inconvenient for drivers. An inconventient truth happened recently when a drunk passenger groped the Grab driver before the latter drove him to a police…

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