Check Please!
President Trump continued to push back on the impeachment proceedings against him today, suggesting that he would reject any budget resolutions Congress should pass in the coming weeks unless any and all charges against him are dropped.
Worse than having a micropecker, dropping your wad immediately after penetration—or, god forbid, during foreplay or dinner—will earn you the undying scorn of fair and foul maiden alike.
In algebraic terms a blivit is X pounds of shit in a Y-pound bag, where X is greater than Y.
Gives me a chubby at the thought of observing National Cranberry Relish Day (11/22) and National Mason Jar Day (11/30). Thank god for thirty-day months, eh?"
Unfortunately, some people never walk again after a night in the Gravitas 3000's leaden embrace.
Thousands of fantasy football managers were left high and dry Sunday night after wide receiver Robert Woods was deactivated at the last minute by his real-life team for "personal reasons".
Citing increased headwinds and an evolving market in Southeast Asia, Hewlett-Packard announced Thursday plans to lay off Kyle.
Certainly, the guy who rips a hole in the back of his jeans and knocks three people over is an easy call.
Contrary to the popular belief that even the worst sex or pizza is good, they're not.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - President Donald Trump has suggested sending the US Army over the border into Mexico to “wage war” on drug cartels in a typically bombastic tweet. The US President said his country stood “ready, willing & able to get involved and do the job quickly and effectively” if his Mexican…
Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing executives assured the FAA that every 737 Max would include cross-platform multi-player mode on the Xbox One.
"I am not wearing a Nazi uniform," Pence responded to a reporter who asked why he was wearing a Nazi uniform, referring to the dark Wehrmacht uniform adorned with Nazi epaulettes and medallions that he had on.
A new study shows that plant-based husbands are both healthier for women and better for the environment than their meat-based equivalents.
Postcards from the Pug Bus (2PB) has "heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend" that GanjaScope℠ is President Trump's "favorite read."
Washington Redskins owner, Daniel Snyder, says he is ready to "bury the hatchet" with critics who object to his team's nickname because they consider it racist.
“There musta been a hell of a lot of ghosts there, I’ll tell you that.”
No matter how embarrassed you are by keyboard plaque, do not attempt to remove it with your dab rig torch and isopropyl alcohol.
A potentially embarrassing iPhone 10 video in which Paul McCartney is seen attempting to buy marijuana in the rural village of Wingham, Kent, is in the sweaty hands of local authorities.
Posted minutes after taking a call from Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump wrote: "Whatever happened to that wall between East and West Germany? So big and beautiful. Rebuild that wall!"
Such a fab dream suggests that you need to keep your sorry ass away from the Milli Vanilli OG. That shit contains more limonene than your average toilet bowl cleanser.

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!


Get today's toon from