Check Please!
The bloke standing outside the supermarket with a massive umbrella has finally shifted an RAC membership, he has claimed.
The Frozen North—At the edge of the permafrost region of the Alaskan Arctic Circle-K, just north of the Home Depot, a group of intrepid explorers have discovered the best preserved remains of the elusive Snuffleupagus. Expedition head Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Gastropub, told reporters, “This discovery changes everything we know about early Pleistocene Muppets. For one…
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 3/5/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
An NRA ad released on March 4 called out “every Hollywood phony” and the “lying media” to put them on notice that their “time is running out.”
The ad was released just hours before the 90th Oscars began. It promotes NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch’s new show and is clearly intended to send the signal that the claims of leftists in Hollywood, the media, and pro-athletes will not go unchallenged.
Philadelphia PA:
The USS Barack Obama commissioning ceremonies were held here today. This vessel is the first of the new Propaganda class ships that employ a green energy propulsion system.
LOS ANGELES, CA - The oral hygiene company Crest has unveiled the latest in teeth coloring technology. Its new line of teeth coloring strips will start out with 5 color options: blue, green, red, purple, and orange. The product is expected to hit store shelves later this year.
In a bold move to force the Chinese to reduce their trade deficit with the US, President Trump enacted tariffs on his next door neighbor.
Fort Knox, Kentucky

Officials at the US Depository, better known as Fort Knox, have found the need for adding more secure storage room at the 80 year old facility built to store the nation’s gold during the Roosevelt era when private gold ownership was outlawed. Located in rural Kentucky the official US Gold Depository is home to the United State’s gold reserves reported to be valued at $750 billion dollars.

Washington, DC
Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) is proposing “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act”. After the IRS gave unbelievable excuses as to why it could not produce emails that were lost by the Obama IRS namely Lois Lerner and six other people. Stockman is proposing that we all should be able to avail ourselves of similarly lame excuses that reap the same benefits the Obama appointees enjoyed.
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
As hundreds of Toyota pick-up trucks delivered furnishings and military equipment to the new Afghanistan Taliban embassy on Washington, DC’s ‘K’ Street address, the United States State Department sent over a house warming gift of a dozen bagels and assorted fruits.
Washington DC: (satireworld.com)
Secretary of the Department of Education Arne Duncan has announced that in order to graduate from a US high school a five question 8 hour exam will be giving to each graduating senior. The test will show how well the student can read, write and comprehend mathematics based on Common Core concepts. The test questions will change with every new graduating class.
Raising the stakes in a looming trade war, an angry Canada announced today that it will respond in part to President Trump's announced tariffs on foreign steel and aluminum with a ban on US porn.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Xi Jinping recently abolished term limits for China’s presidency, paving the way for the possibility that he will be president for life. President Donald Trump praised the Chinese leader’s decision and indicated that the U.S. can learn something from Jinping’s decision. In the Philippines, while Rodrigo Duterte has…
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - For so long, Donald Trump has kept quiet on the changing relations between China and the U.S. former colony, the Philippines. Since Rodrigo Duterte became president, the relations between the U.S. and the Philippines has turned from warm to lukewarm and this has elicited worries and concerns among…
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. “Let’s Make A Dill”, the #2 Game Show, to be sponsored by Levitra for next five years. (Longer than Viagra’s “Dill of Fortune” 3-year contract).
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. T/F: Many “Lifers” and “Survivors” are considering becoming extremely obese so that they could survive the first year on stored body fat alone.
Birmingham, Illinois – (SatireWorld.com)
Jerry Plutarch, owner of “Jerry’s Pawn Shop and Title Loans” of Birmingham, Illinois, has said that the United States Treasury Department has defaulted on the payments of his loan to the United States Government. As such, Mr. Plutarch says that he will begin the process of seizing and selling off the assets used as collateral from this 2009 loan (part of the national debt).
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

(SATIRE WORLD UPDATE: “Hands-Up Protesters”in Ferguson, Missouri mob city hall with hands up, bearing boughs of holly!”
Olympic curling specialist Arthur P. Luck feels like he was born for this sport. It wasn’t always this way though.  Growing up in the heartland of middle America, he had never actually heard of the sport until he was a senior in high school.
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) – Obama ambassador appointee to England, Richard Simmons, made a big splash in the House of Commons yesterday where Speaker John Bercow introduced him to a huge crowd of gay staffers saying “And now, heeeeeres Dick!”

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