Attorney General Jeff Sessions denied that lying behind his smug smirk is a pack of lies — at least, not that he recalls.

Having just returned from a grueling 13-day, 5 nation tour of Asia, President Trump may be disappointed to learn that he could be asked to spend a lot more time abroad after an analysis revealed that his trip made the region significantly dumber.

Hollywood, CA (satireworld.com)

According to her publicist, actress Heidi Montag is home taking a rest for the next six weeks, “Heidi is taking some time off to allow her back and spine some needed rest.”

Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com)
Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to alleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 5,000 BC. Labor sources have related that up to 4 million laborers will be needed to haul cut stone from the ancient quarry located 30 miles from the building site in time to celebrate the new constitution and subsequent free elections.

NASA-Washington DC- (satireworld.com)

Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspected breach of national security was discovered during a review of a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45 minute speech was given by Congresswomen Nancy Pelosi of California as she addressed the Congressional Investigative Committee for Unidentified Flying Objects (CICUFO).

Satireworld.com-
A new horror film “The Malignant Seven” opened at The Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater located at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC, for Halloween night only. The theater’s six-story screen is bigger than any other in the city. If you’ve ever wanted to be immersed in an R-Rated, 60 feet high slimy political horror film, The Malignant Seven produced by Harvey Weinstein and directed by Michael Moore fulfilled your every wish!

In the rush to quickly fill federal district court appointments, critics wonder if nominees are being properly vetted, as Eric Cartman comes up for a vote.

Essential guidance for top executives, both in the public and private sectors, when aspects of professional conduct within their organisations are exposed and interpreted by the media and public in an irrationally negative light.

Jon Stewart became the latest celebrity to face charges of sexual misconduct today after it was alleged that the actor and comedian anally assaulted hundreds of kittens while volunteering at a Long Island animal shelter.

Former Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chair Donna Brazile has released excepts from her forthcoming book entitled “Hacks.” Donna exposed the sins of Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party hierarchy during the 2016 Presidential election cycle.

Let’s get the lights on in Africa! I don't know what we're waiting for.

Seattle, WA – (satireworld.com)

On the first anniversary of the 2016 presidential election, anti-Trump liberals gathered at events across the country to express their rage of losing a ‘shoo-in’ election in 2016 by ‘screaming helplessly at the sky’.

President Trump today visited the Great Wall of China and admired the famous structure, and was also surprised that Mexicans could travel so far on foot.

So difficult to get things done with the Senate always getting in the way, but these filibusters, they make it hard. We need filibuster reform, even if it is such a fun word to say.

Twitter has doubled the number of characters its subscribers can use in their tweets from 140 to 280, sparking both consternation and jubilation across the world. Vehement opponent of the micro-blogging website, Dave Payne’s wife from Carshalton, said: ‘This means I’m not going to see him at all now. It’s been bad enough with a...

Tweet Tower—Two members of the White Council descended from the Misty Mountains of Rivendell today to bestow unto President Trump the coveted Sword of Tweétit-nuiân. The High Elves complained of boredom since the conclusion of the whole “ring thing” and felt ready to “stir some shit up again.” They stand ready to come to the aid of the armies of men once more. Rivendell…

The FBI traditionally offers peripheral players plea deals, working inward like termites of justice. The initial grand jury indictments in special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation have dropped like a box of rocks and include something...

Condor, CA – (SatireWorld.com)

The buying rush has officially began in parts of the US as hundreds of thousands of former Hillary Clinton supporters rush out to buy new shelter for themselves and their families before the impending mid-term elections.

Westminster Abbey, London – (SatireWorld.com)
During the procession of bride Kate Middleton, Baron Ilford Montbatten was quietly escorted from the main gallery of Westminster Abbey after a complaint was lodged against him with the Metropolitan Police. The complaint was signaled to officers by Pippa Middleton, the bride’s sister and Maid of Honor. Pippa said she observed Montbatten powering up his x-ray vision glasses as she passed holding her sister’s bridal train in full view of spectators.

Already pushed to the limit by the 45th President’s relentless Tweeting, the nation became unglued as he utilized the new 280 character limit.