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Tweet Tower—President Donald Trump is blaming his military Generals, not his related tweets, on the latest confusion that resulted in tons of hurricane relief supplies arriving in N. Korea and an armada of U.S. Navy warships being dispatched to Puerto Rico. Kim Jong Un was reportedly “as surprised as anyone” that four supply freighters filled with food, water…
Wherein our intrepid talk radio host, Jerry Duncan, interviews Republican House Majority Leader Paul Ryan. ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY Good morning listeners nationwide.
While the deactivation of President Trump’s Twitter account has caused consternation, very few people have noticed the absence of Mr, Trump on Friends Reunited. Likewise social media users seem unconcerned that the President has been inactive on iTunes Ping from 2012 and following tensions with North Korea, has barely posted on Friendster. Initially a rogue...
What’s your sign? Check out your and every other jerk’s horoscope right here every month! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you!
I've had it. The picture of me in your "cool" MeUndies boxer briefs that you just sent to eleven different women really pushed me over the edge.
The Royal Surrey County Hospital has been sold to car park operator NCP in the first deal of its kind, although other such sales might soon become commonplace if all goes well according to City financial experts.  From March all patients at the Guildford Infirmary will face the prospect of feeding bedside meters at a...
A white house spokesman has denied that President Trump deliberately snubbed the UK by leaving it off his list of ‘shithouse’ countries.  The spokesman said ‘I can assure the people of Great Britain that the president truly regrets not including them along with nations such as Haiti, El Salvador and Nicaragua. Sadly, he misspoke during...
After years in the shadows, website Friends Reunited has pounced on a reecent drop in Facebook’s share price to launch a ‘hearts and minds’ takeover bid on the US copycat site. ‘We were the first, the best and we believe the only social networking site,’ said Cynthia, who holds the rights to the website address,...
A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a 'bunch of arse'.
With boss man bearing down on you, tilt your head to the left. His head will follow yours. Wait ten seconds. Hold the tilt like you would an ice cream cone.
A Colchester driver has had the wool pulled over his eyes again by ingenious global petroleum companies, through their clever use of fractions of pence in their pricing, it has been revealed. Steve Vickers subconsciously made the assessment that 114.9 pence per litre was ‘significantly less’ than 115 pence per litre and therefore excellent value...
19. All ideologies are of equal value… All ideologies are mere fictions… Everybody has the right to create for himself his own ideology and to attempt to enforce it with all the energy of which he is capable. 20. There is no such thing as French culture. 21. Nothing will ever make me believe that […]
A lot of animals out there haven't had the proper education when it comes to sex, which is obvious from all of the stupid YouTube videos of idiot dogs humping each other's heads.
Tweet Tower—Members of President Trump’s White House are not enjoying themselves and this is becoming even more apparent when it’s their turn on the old chopping block. Whether staffers leave voluntarily or are forced out, parting Team Trump is such sweet sorrow …well, except the sweet part. This is why Chief of Staff General John Kelly was determined to…
Every day until Thursday, there’ll be a new instalment in our latest “Who Said it First?” quiz series. Previously, it was Tony Blair and Hitler. This time, it’s the Garcon-Wonder, Emmanuel Macron. On the fourth and final day, the quiz answers will appear. Make sure to tell your friends; and feel free to share the […]
Welp, this is how it all ends. If there's some sort of service to remember me, please have them mention my karate belts.
The former Press Secretary has admitted that the nausea associated with being President Trump’s mouthpiece, did not prepare him for the full horror of a snog from James Corden. Despite once having Trump oozing out of every orifice, Mr. Spicer admitted that only Mr. Corden had made him feel as dirty as a North Korean...
Despite the ongoing collapse of conservative ‘thought’, each news cycle still brings a barrage of new and intriguing rightwing dimsights. At least Puerto Rico has a storm to blame for knocking it back 30 years, what’s the republican party’s excuse? Today, as the Antarctic Pine Glacier retreats another 100 miles, the GOP’s brain capacity retreats another 100K neurons. Meanwhile, our…
Italy: "I just called Comcast and asked if there's an extra charge for Rome-ing? ...Hello? What are you? An audience or a Michelangelo painting?"

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