Check Please!
New York, NY - (satireworld.com)

The staff and writers over at Satire World are living it up with the announcement of substantial bonuses and a hard sought after international award. According staff writer Oleg Penkovsky, “yes!it has been a whirlwind week of surprises from management and very appreciated accolades from satire writing peers from around the globe.”
BALESIN ISLAND, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) -  First it was Boracay Island that Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte ordered closed for rehabilitation.  Now it’s Balesin Island. The closure order came just hours after yet another Filipino celebrity wedding was held on the island — that of television host Billy Crawford and model/actress Coleen Garcia. For…
London’s Natural History Museum has been forced to rethink the entry requirements for its Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards as, once again, a prizewinning entry has been disqualified.
Emora, NM – (satireworld.com)

Key leaders in the Democratic Party are calling for the ban of Romaine Lettuce (now called assault lettuce). According to figures from the CDC (Center for Disease Control), there have now been more than 150 reported cases of food borne illness reported in over 30 states due to Assault Lettuce. There have already been deaths.
As the administration scrambles to fill vacancies on the federal bench, a folder containing an African American judge was inadvertently forwarded to the Senate, and quickly retrieved by the White House.
SINGAPORE (The Adobo Chronicles, Singapore Bureau) - U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korean President Kim Jung-on have arrived in Singapore in preparation for their historic summit which begins tomorrow. On the eve of the summit, both leaders chose to relax and take it easy. Kim will play basketball with NBA legend Dennis Rodman while Trump…
Federal officials say they have reunited more than 200 migrant families with their Central American gangs back home after they were detained trying to cross the US border under Donald Trump's Zero Tolerance policy for illegal entry into the United States.
Ballybollox, Eire – (SatireWorld.com)

A third-rate actress who appeared as Maid Marian in the 50s’ children’s TV series The Adventures of Robin Hood was Barack Obama’s paternal grandmother according to declassified UK papers.
Match Made in Heaven? Top tabloid announces plans to create own celebrity couple, with exclusive rights to stream entire relationship, reality TV-style. Every significant event, from first intercourse to eventual spectacular break up will be available to subscribers.
Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)

Ebola’s Lounge and Buffet filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Owner Abe Ebola, who owned the popular bar and restaurant for 27 years, cited a long-term slump of loyal customer support and the failure of promotional material to lure new customers.
Satire World is pleased to present our ‘Photo of the Day’ Please welcome Buckwheat.
London man claims he was assaulted by Hitler's ghost following his steamy affair with the spirit of Eva Braun. Charged with affray following ferocious battle in High Street with phantom Fuhrer.
A lot of bad things have been said about my husband Les Moonvez in the press lately. That he's a sexual predator. That he's a creep. That he exploited his position as Chairman and CEO of CBS to coerce women to submit to his crude sexual advances.
Denver, CO - (satireworld.com)
Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in suburban Denver, refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds and was cited by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission (CCRC) for Gay discrimination. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) upheld Mr. Phillips refusal. He has now sued the State of Colorado in federal court, over further harassment by the CCRC for his refusal to bake a cake celebrating a gender transition.
Camel Tie Ridge, Arkansas – (satireworld.com)

Farley Dickerson was elected mayor of Camel Toe Ridge, Arkansas with a whopping 95% of the vote. Camel Toe Ridge, the seat of Snatch County, is considered a pivotal “swing” city for indicating the vote in the national election.
CUPERTINO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Jose Bureau) - It only took the first sixty minutes before Apple’s newest iPhone sold out. A company spokesperson told The Adobo Chronicles that most of the sold units were ordered online, thanks to an aggressive email advertising campaign launched by Apple’s Marketing gurus. But alas, it seems that many…
National Park Service, South Dakota – (SatireWorld.com)

The National Park Service confirmed that Barry Obama could possibly be the first black figure carved into Mt. Rushmore. President Barack Hussein Obama had made a list of 'first things to do' as the first black President living in the White House and it seems being immortalized in stone is high on his priority list.
New York, NY – (satireworld.com)

The Rolling Stones are bringing their ‘All The Girls Mick Slept With’ tour to U.S. stadiums in 2019. The 13-show tour will kick off April 20th at the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida and wrap up June 21st at Soldier Field in Chicago.
Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com)
The Honduras Caravan members have sued the President and the Trump Administration because their being refused an illegal entry into the United States prevented them from being able to participate in the 2018 Black Friday sales. They were also limited in buying at Small Business Saturday sales (though they could buy online on Cyber Monday from those retailers who would ship internationally to a mob without a real address).
Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) appears to have placed part of the blame for Democrat Andrew Gillum’s (Florida Governor’s election) loss and Democrat Stacey Abrams’ (Georgia Governor’s election) loss on the fact that neither state has ever elected an African-American governor. The Vermont Senator hastily backtracked his not well-thought-out statement soon after!

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