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Tweet Tower—Despite attacks from the press, President Trump remained focused on the positives today, mainly, how many negatives he has accumulated in such a short period of time. When asked specifically about his promise to have more scandals than Obama in his first 30 days, Trump maintained how his administration is still on an unprecedented scandal pace (USP). “Obama had too…
JERUSALEM – A new and explosive Dead Sea scroll discovered in the hills above Judea, Israel, shows that Pontius Pilate recused himself in the trial of Jesus Christ after it was revealed...
Admission Requirements: Lie without grinning, look confused, provide Alternate Facts. Indoor record holder: Donald (25 per week).
Sessions, who recused himself from a government investigation into ties between President Trump and Russia, was said to be absolutely livid over the ruling.
Patricia Clarkson, a retail associate from Dayton, Ohio, makes three quarters what her male counterparts with the same job title do, and she's okay with that, her husband Tom says.
This week, during his speech to Congress, President Trump set a personal best for consecutive number of words read in one sitting.
Bank of America Corp. launched its new and improved “honesty campaign” yesterday as part of a nationwide strategy to win back its soul.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has confirmed that President Donald Trump is the new Secretary of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Spicer made this announcement earier today in an official tweet: The Senate confirmed Trump along mostly party lines. Democrats who opposed the nomination said that Trump…
My uncle's Osprey Xenith 105 backpack would've been perfect, if only he hadn't decided to post "We should nuke the entire middel east!!!!" on Facebook.
‘Some parties have not aged well.’ said NSA special advisor Luke Mitchell. ‘Whereas Labour was once fresh, energetic and full of goodness, they now smell of stale urine. Millions more votes have been wasted on parties like UKIP that have gone off completely, or are not yet ready, like the Greens.’
Tweet Tower—Members of Politifact, and Snopes are threatening to permanently logoff the job after President Trump announced earlier today that he would be cutting their overtime pay. These pay cuts are designed to help finance both fixing the nation’s infrastructure as well as military equipment designed to obliterate the nation’s infrastructure. “Or at least the infrastructure of our more liberal towns…
A frightened 5-year-old girl evacuated from a Florida Jewish community center following a bomb threat found comfort in President Donald Trump’s Electoral College victory margin.
Anal sex on the first date is in decline among heterosexual couples...
Experts warn that within years robots will be able to carry out any human job. Where next for humanity, as even robot beggars predicted for near future?
Ivanka tackles Net Income, demonstrating some creative accounting. Based on how she out-sources clothes production, we can trust HER numbers. Right? (I can't hear you....)
Luke Cutler (30) has impressed friends and passers-by with his ability to deal with his wife’s meltdowns and nag sessions with all the grace and poise of a seasoned veteran.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - It seems that Donald Trump is done with his tirades against the news media, calling some of them 'fake news.' Now he has turned to The Oscars, the biggest single event of the year in Hollywood. 'From the Red Carpet to the actual awards ceremony, everything is fake,"…
All arty Aries, who still write with a feather quill, are at significant risk of running out of ink more than twice this month. Ensure stocks of ink are replenished immediately because this month there is a lot of artfully inscribed penmanship ahead.

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