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A laptop-toting man was kicked out of the Siegen Lane Waffle House this past weekend after fellow patrons complained he was viewing The Wall Street Journal online.
That impatient douchebag repeatedly lurching into the intersection while waiting for a red light to turn green may be on to something, according to a study by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.
Visionary writer/director/actor Ben Affleck has left the Batman franchise to pursue a lifelong passion of being the spokesman for Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Women’s undergarments in the United States haven’t been this dry in over 80 years, according to a report by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
One Louisiana legislator is looking to harness some of the fervor generated by threats to Confederate monuments and direct it toward saving the state’s disappearing wetlands by dubbing the coastline after one of the Confederacy’s most notable figures.
President Donald Trump has patently appropriated and employed numerous uniquely Nixonian methodologies since being inaugurated, according to a lawsuit filed by the Richard Nixon Foundation.
The Trump administration has announced that the official presidential anthem of the United States has been replaced with the battle cry of a popular character from the video game World of Warcraft.
The staff member has been named as Bart Bright. He burst out of the front doors of the White House at roughly 4pm whilst draped in an American flag and holding a folder.
During an informal meeting between the president and several high ranking Russian officials including politicians, ambassadors, and diplomats, Donald Trump was teased that he was being left in the dark about key elements of national security.
LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles, Los Angeles Bureau) - Following the election of Emmanuel Macron as the new president of France
​It can be difficult to find your place in the world sometimes. We at totally real news want to help you find it!!
Amanda Flerd, a 12 year old middle school student from Richmond, Virginia, recently gave a current events speech to her class, informing them of the latest political tensions in America while offering lucid analysis on its current state of affairs.
A man who would have died had his operation gone fatally wrong thanked cyber attackers today for saving his life after his NHS operation was canceled at the last minute.

This brings to three the number of deaths prevented by the cyber attack in the NHS this weekend, a record.
President Trump announced today that all future communication between the press and the White House will be suspended in lieu of a future memoir entitled "Your Welcome".
I will be frank and to the point. If the Republican healthcare bill recently passed by the House of Representatives is signed into law in its current form, my child and most of my family will die.
Some people were born on third base and thought they hit a triple. Other people, who thought they hit a triple, were born on first base. Consider how you got here in life.
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron has complained that his party’s manifesto has received no media coverage despite it being leaked on Monday. The news comes after the leaking of Labour’s manifesto dominated news coverage on Thursday and Friday. ‘Someone leaked our manifesto on Monday’ said Farron. ‘It wasn’t malicious; one of our policy bods emailed it...
Tweet Tower—With the country still reeling from Animal and Crazy Harry’s attempt to blow up the White House, Muppet legends Statler and Waldorf attempted a grey-hair-brained scheme of their own. Taking advantage of the chaotic aftermath of Comey’s departure and what Statler referred to as “an obvious lapse in security”, the pair went all Dickens on…
After Obama lost his government health insurance, he found he couldn’t afford Obamacare WASHINGTON, DC — In an ironic turn of events, President Obama has begun selling his belongings in order to afford healthcare coverage on his very own Obamacare exchange.
According to a survey conducted by the American Research Society, thirty-something-year old men all over the world are still responding randomly to questions with the phrase, “your mom”. And finding it funny.

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