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"This is not a war we asked for," said General Cornwall Grouse to a small gathering of reporters at an undisclosed location on the outskirts of Juneau, "but it is a war we intend to win."
Trump criticized Governor Jerry Brown for not “de-raining” the skies in the months preceding the storm.
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
Popular and respected Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman said Tea Party Republicans were on a racially-fueled mission to get President Barack Obama out of office, in an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan.
Armed with little more than some borrowed tools, a few pieces of scrap metal, some spare wood and a single handgun between them, a plucky band of racist children began work on the stalled border wall outside of Brisbee, Arizona today.
North Pole – (satireworld.com)

In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments:

He’s a She

“I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she.
A new study released this week found that there was, in fact, no escape from the hellscape we inhabit called "being alive" except for a most likely painful and distressing death. Also, there are Bugles.
The Police Department (Christmas Division) have made their first arrest of the 2018 holiday season. For public record, the arrests are listed below:
Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) appears to have placed part of the blame for Democrat Andrew Gillum’s (Florida Governor’s election) loss and Democrat Stacey Abrams’ (Georgia Governor’s election) loss on the fact that neither state has ever elected an African-American governor. The Vermont Senator hastily backtracked his not well-thought-out statement soon after!
El Paso, Texas – (satireworld.com)
Barrio Santa Claus, who visits his paisanos and his hermanitos every year on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts, has announced plans to paint his low rider something than the traditional “arrest me red. “La Migra always tries to arrest me when I cross the border because my ride just stands out in the night sky as I fly across the Rio Grande. I think that if I went with a better black, I’d be able to sneak across without a problem… at least that’s what all of the mojados and the coyotes tell me.”
Government proposes replacing 'Black Friday' with 'Black Face Friday', where you can only 'bag a bargain' if your face is covered in boot polish . Supporters believe 'Black Face Friday' would better address British traditions of intolerance, bigotry and casual racism than US import 'Black Friday'.
The film posits a future where the peace movement has become ascendant across the world, not as a result of rational argument or peaceful protest, but rather by force. Frustrated by the resistance to their creed, have decided to force their whole ideal onto people, deploying psychedelically painted tanks against pro war protesters...
Is giant asteroid alien spaceship or alien excrement? Top astro-plumber claims Oumuamua is actually huge extraterrestrial turd excreted by gigantic aliens. Demands earth authorities take immediate action to address risk of planet being devastated by alien steamer strikes.
Apparently these days people need to be warned that the past was different from the present. The TV schedules are full of shows with the premise of: 'Wasn't TV horrible in the past?' They are full of micro celebrity millennial types looking aghast at the terrible racism and sexism on display in the carefully chosen clips of seventies TV programmes they've just been shown...
Local council broadcasts mating calls of infamous monsters in hope of attracting them to town. Plans to cash in on international reconstruction funds when town destroyed by rampaging sex mad giant creatures.
Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

Republican President Donald Trump has improved the US economy and increased the number of jobs available to all US workers substantially, in the first two years of his presidency. Notably more Millennials and Gen-Xers are leaving Mommy’s Basement, as they now have jobs to pay for renting an apartment, a house or a basement of their own.
President Trump continues to refuse to cooperate with negotiators hours after taking 18 children hostage inside the Oval Office this morning.
A black man who was shot and killed by police at a mall outside Birmingham should have changed the color of his skin before the officer pulled the trigger, according to a statement issued by police.
The White House Situation Room – (SatireWorld.com)

In a shocking breach of security emanating from deep in the administration, highly sensitive e-mails to the Surgeon General from the staff psychologist indicate that the Ex- President had become addicted to government sponsored snuff films!
Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com)

One result of having an influx of almost ten thousand visitors to a small Mexican border town is…What do you do at night after the international press corp has turned off its cameras and the lights dim low?
Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com)
The Honduras Caravan members have sued the President and the Trump Administration because their being refused an illegal entry into the United States prevented them from being able to participate in the 2018 Black Friday sales. They were also limited in buying at Small Business Saturday sales (though they could buy online on Cyber Monday from those retailers who would ship internationally to a mob without a real address).

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