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Tweet Tower—Donald Trump announced his decision today to appoint Swamp Thing to head the Department of Homeland Security. Many are already calling into question Swamp Thing’s lack of related experience, or the lack of any employment history whatsoever since a laboratory explosion forced him to reside in a nearby swamp in 1972. In a rare comment former…
ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is the 42nd President of the United States Bill Clinton.
Despite many recent controversial public communications, Wikileaks have recently scored their greatest coup yet. They have discovered a state terrorism cover-up from hostile foreign states that NASA and US intel are steadfastly refusing to talk about. This is HUGE. Make sure you click on all the links below, to find about lot of easy information […]
by Matt Rotman.Apple’s surprise announcement of the iPhone X finally let’s the War Babies publicly decry public assistance to anyone but them. Apple introduced three new iPhone models this week, but only one optimally allows Baby Boomers ... Read moreSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
Aliens are now generally unsupportive of the idea that humans have, in any shape or form, been to Earth, according to new polling.
Why don't Elsa's gloves freeze when she's wearing them? Those manacles they clapped onto her hands when she was in prison sure froze though, didn't they?
True story: An albino man named Moth operates shock collars behind the scenes, delivering painful volts if an employee comes within 25 feet of a customer.
Saul Friedman exited the funeral hall, still holding his messy clump of flowers. Big Xian’s sister-in-law warmly smiled through her tears. ‘Thank you for the flowers,’ she whispered. Saul didn’t hear her. He slouched towards the exit of the funeral hall. Civil funerals were never quite his thing. They always seemed to be missing something. […]
NFL ratings are still falling. And if you thought the league didn’t care, you were dead wrong. There is so much to consider in the game of football than the sports betting odds for this season. And chief amongst these considerations is the manner in which the game of football is viewed. You wouldn’t expect the […]
Guilt by omission is a favorite tactic of both sides of the media these days, but Hannity spent an entire hour neglecting to even acknowledge a leak suggesting our president is exploring options to fire special prosecutor Robert Mueller and pardon himself. On the night of this breaking news, Hannity and the rest of the Fox & Frauds hid…
The Five Stages of Grief were conceived by one Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who along with her contributions to the field of psychology also knitted the first Keebler elf flag. Her stages originally apply to the human psyche as we work through the dying process—a process I have mastered during Southside Tavern comedy nights.
Many have asked, why do republicans consistently vote against their own interests? CNN’s Fareed Zakaria just did a special on Why Trump Won, yet he only made a passing reference to the real culprit, namely, our tailored and targeted media. In 2017 the rightwing ‘Bubble’ can now subsist on little to no factual sustenance whatsoever. It’s…
This Trumpian folly of a border wall is not needed and won’t work. How much of our money does Donald Trump want to pour into his xenophobic fantasy of erecting an impenetrable wall on our Mexican border? The big-businessman-turned-president insists that costs be damned — just build it!
Ryanair has come up with another clever way of making more money by deciding to charge passengers an extra fee for those who want to travel on an actual aircraft. After purchasing their tickets passengers will be given the option of a plane or no plane. CEO Michael O’Leary hopes most people will choose to...
Washington, DC—Earlier today a shipment of methampethamine with an estimated 26K street value arrived at the headquarters of Special Prosecutor Rober Mueller. The stimulants were sent to his 17-lawyer team presumably in an effort to speed things up a bit. Mueller told the press today that he is very grateful for the gesture, but when…
The Southern Poverty Law Center has been at the forefront of many important agendas of American civic life, for quite some time. The poor, the Southern and most of all, the legalistic, have all sought shelter under the wings of the holy dove of mercy. But speaking of holy doves; the SPLC has provoked a […]
In an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity at the White House, the turkey itself made a speech. The 48 pound white turkey Drumstick unexpectedly hopped up to the mike, cleared his throat and said:“Thank you, Mr. President for changing my verdict from assassination to a merciful life behind chicken wire fence for […]

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