Check Please!
Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
The US Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has released an early list of 10 approved safe children’s toys for holiday presents and gift giving, suitable for lay-away plans if you have a job. CPCS notes that these toys are safe, but may be scary.
WASHINGTON - A police officer can now shoot a goldfish if it moves when the officer enters a home, under a new federal court ruling issued this month.
Although the Surgeon General tried to convince him otherwise, President Trump announced today that Americans should take up smoking for its considerable health benefits.
The National Transportation Safety Board has ruled that “Juicy Farts” will not count as vehicular accidents for insurance purposes. In the wording of the ruling, the NTSB stated that “even though having a juicy fart can be called having an accident, it is not the kind of accident that should lead to the filing of automotive accident reports or the collection of auto insurance money.”
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
Listing Madonna, Keanu Reeves, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Miley Cyrus, and Adam Sandler together as a film cast might assure a film director of good box office, but it does not guarantee any acting awards. These pseudo actors, and several others, have all been signed to star in a Tim Burton remake of the Charles Dickens’ classic, “A Christmas Carol.”
Amos,MO – (SatireWorld.com)

Reginald Toaster, the famous 500 pound baby (now aged 17) allegedly fathered by Bigfoot, reported to the Ft. Smith, Arkansas Police Department that he had seen the late Elvis Presley. “The King was dressed in his famous white jumpsuit. I done seen him leave the Daylight Donuts and fly away in a UFO. It was the fat Elvis, it weren’t the skinny one. He still had them long, bushy sideburns and was wearing sunglasses. Before anybody accuses me of it, I didn’t have any fur in my eyes and I ain’t been drinkin’ any moonshine.”
Make merry with us, or at least do your best to pretend!
Looking to keep up with other chains who are expanding their own selection of inexpensive items, McDonald's will introduce the 89c "Mystery Sampler" of partially consumed food to their budget menu this week.
SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Jose Bureau) - Gone are the glory days of Mocha Uson, Thinking Pinoy and other major major bloggers. Their millions of followers will now be reduced to a maximum of 500 followers. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg told The Adobo Chronicles that beginning January 1, 2018, the social media giant will impose…
Secret Santa the public never sees exposed! Father Christmas accused of being a ruthless sexual predator who, has been abusing his position of trust to sate his perverted desires!
Londoners warned of threat posed to Christmas shoppers by gang of crazed dwarves dressed as Christmas elves. Police claim that evil elves are targeting people buying and giving inappropriate and disappointing gifts for relatives.
Are feminists now using mind readers to detect men's lewd thoughts? Tory MP claims feminist fundamentalists want to see men prosecuted for their abusive sexual fantasies about women.
Washington, DC -(satireworld.com)

Ex-President Barack Obama opposes offering a different kind of 'cash reparations' to the descendants of slaves, putting him at odds with some black groups and BLM leaders.
Although their presence is ubiquitous across the United States, Americans are doing their best to pretend that there aren't thousands of UFOs in the sky.
Sometimes, in a cynical and jaded age (so what else is new?) we turn away in disgust at simplicity, vulnerability, gentleness, sweetness, innocence. We laugh and we ridicule and we condemn. We are fearful, so we make others afraid too. WATCH OUT FOR MY INSPIRATIONAL, PROVOCATIVE AND ENCOURAGE ‘JOY MACHINE’ BOOK IN 2018! #WeAreGreaterThanWeKnow #JoyMachineSometimes, […]The post An Age of Cynicism? Or is this Every Age? appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
More visitors than Reagan's! Fewer tears than Kennedy's! Less graffiti than Bush's! The Donald J. Trump Presidential library is legit on fleet.
It has come to our attention that Prince Harry is being forced to have his future wife sign a prenuptial agreement. According to "inside sources", the terms so far state that 'in the event of a termination of marriage' Meghan will be granted ownership of 11 of the original 13 colonies per the boundaries as of 04.July.1776.
Our intrepid talk radio host interviews Henry Kissinger! ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. JERRY Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out...

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