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by Samuel Dunsiger.Hi, Sugar here. I need to get a few things off of my chest. Hi, Sugar here. I need to get a few things off of my chest. You’ve seen the reports by now. Yes, ... Read moreMonologue: Sugar Wants to Work Things Out with YouSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Special Business Section-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner
Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com)

The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company, located on Mayberry Street, filed Chapter 7 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Family owned by the Enola Gay family since 1945, the company employed 32 workers and sold charcoal products geared primarily for the outdoor recreational industry.
Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)

Ebola’s Lounge and Buffet filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Owner Abe Ebola, who owned the popular bar and restaurant for 27 years, cited a long-term slump of loyal customer support and the failure of promotional material to lure new customers.
Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) travels to Moscow tomorrow to trade US military secrets to Russia in exchange for video surveillance of Trump and Russian prostitutes engaged in one or more golden showers.
America has undergone enormous change during our lives. Today, America is a bitterly divided, poorly educated and morally fragile society with so-called mainstream politicians pushing cynical identity politics, socialism and wide open borders.

The president of the United States is threatened with impeachment because the other side doesn’t like him. The once reasonably unbiased American media media has evolved into a hysterical left wing mob. How could the stable and reasonably cohesive America of the 1950's have reached this point in just one lifetime? Who are the main culprits?
The modern world is such a topsy-turvy place these days. Everyone is going a hundred miles an hour, doing five things at a time, would it be any big surprise to any of us if we found out that at some point over the course of our hectic lives that we killed a few prostitutes? That in the midst of all those work meetings and family gatherings, press junkets and business trips that we bumped off a hooker or two?
Who or what are behind Radio Midnight, the mysterious phone in radio station which has allegedly been terrorising unsuspecting Britons in dead of night? Up and down the country there have been reports of phones ringing during the witching hour, with anyone answering them finding themselves confronted by the so called ‘Night Caller’, who claims to be from Radio Midnight.
Militant vegans eaten by lions as they shout 'Meat is Murder' at big cats. Anti carnivore group affirms ambition to 'convert' predatory animals to vegetarianism. RSPCA brands 'carnivore conversion' programme 'animal cruelty' as allegedly successful subjects die of malnutrition.
Is latest Novichok attack further evidence that UK government being held to ransom by international crime syndicate? Or is Boris Johnson the criminal 'mastermind' behind plot to blackmail Prime Minister into implementing 'Hard Brexit'?
So, I was reading the other day as to how when the Queen finally shuffles off this mortal coil, we'll get two extra bank holidays: one for the funeral, one for the coronation of her successor. Which means that we'll have to hope that she pops her clogs during the Summer so that we'll have the best chance of being able to fully enjoy these extra days off...
A Brooklyn man's daring plan to preserve the "Necco" candy brand would require extraordinary measures never before used in the confectionery industry.
The Trump Administration gave endangered status to five species of White American Wage Earners today, replacing the Northern Gray Otter on The Endangered Species List. In a tandem move, the administration also eliminated every other animal and plant from the list.
Using 1.2 trillion dollars of US treasury bills it controls as collateral, the Chinese government today agreed to step in and purchase American farms going bankrupt due to the ongoing trade war waged by the president. US farmers will be permitted to continue speaking English, says the Chinese government.
Backstabbing Institute of America – (satireworld.com)

Jane Fonda, long called Hanoi Jane by anyone who actually remembers the 60’s in anything other than a drugged out haze, has been voted the top American Traitor in an independent news poll. The results of the poll, which will air on a new reality series to be titled “America’s Biggest Traitor,” had Fonda beating out such other famous people as Benedict Arnold, the Rosenburgs, and Aldrich Ames.
U.S. Government court filings on alleged Russian spy Maria Butina included the following letter, translated here, among its numerous pieces of documentary evidence.
Man startled by 'living statue' vows to 'take back the streets from the street entertainers', Claims that public spaces increasingly cluttered by presence of untalented and intimidating street 'performers'. War declared on jugglers, buskers, living statues and other 'performers' of no artistic merit.
Shot on the streets of Smethwick, Postmark Evil is an insane mix of horror and crime featuring an apparently demonic postman searching for a stolen artefact possessed of evil powers. Made on a miniscule budget, it is part of a cycle of direct-to-video exploitation releases produced by and starring Reg Smedley, all filmed in the West Midlands.
Match Made in Heaven? Top tabloid announces plans to create own celebrity couple, with exclusive rights to stream entire relationship, reality TV-style. Every significant event, from first intercourse to eventual spectacular break up will be available to subscribers.
Des Moines, Iowa – (satireworld.com)

At a Wednesday press conference in Iowa President Donald Trump addressed his concerns about his past opponent’s health and vitality and especially the reports she was wearing a medical alert device. He also questioned her ability to properly function without succumbing to bouts of pain in which she might require doses of powerful medications which he felt could cloud her ‘good judgement’ or result in more trips and falls..

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