Check Please!
"It's still a better love story than Twilight." Jessie Krufts, Bean Counter
"I tickle torture my cat behind his ears. He fetches me my newspaper now, well more like drags it to me... But, on balance, brilliant."
"Well, I'd rather be possessed than obese." Jessie Krufts, Fat Shamer
"That is terrifying if you reverse it. Eeek. Attacked by a squawking dead duck flying through the air into his hand... I won't sleep for a week after watching that backwards." Jessie Krufts, Producer
"Spect-cat-ular. Geddit?" Jessie Krufts, Retired 1950s Satirist
"I said to one of the park attendants: 'Oh come on, a smile isn't going to kill you.' And so she eventually smiled and then clutches her chest and acted dead. That told me. Banksy 1 Jessie 0." Jessie Krufts, Cynic
"It's not Pick Of The POPs it's Pick Of The GOPS. Geddit?" Jessie Krufts, Local Radio DJ
"That should be an Olympic sport, done by people in jet packs obviously." Jimmy Popper, PE Teacher
"I don't get Samsung phone flavoured water, but I totally get cheesy feet flavoured water. Mmmmhhh...." Kent Rugby, Flavoured Water Executive
"I bet $1 Donald Trump would approve of that." Kent Rugby, Political Commentator
"I lose complete control of all my body's emissions when I sneeze. Just know that, fans, before inviting me to a sneeze party again." Jimmy Popper, Nurse
"I need to get me some Thug Life sunglasses. Or a pretty bird." Jimmy Popper, Punches Above His Weight
"How tall is that Police Officer if that camera is her body cam?" Jessie Krufts, Shortist
"I hope they aren't expecting milk from these teats." Kent Rugby, Shirtless Dancer
"But on the other hand, if little cute puppy there got a splinter in the underside doing that, that would be the howliest, gnarliest, sound you have ever heard. It would dissolve that smiley child's face into a red mass of water and sobby half spoken breaths. Even I would downclick that." Jessie Krufts, Incinerator Manager
"Shame the black guy with a similar YouTube channel was shot dead by the police for that though. It looks sooo much like a gun..." Jessie Krufts, Police Commissioner
"The military uses for this are endless. Especially for crazy bald bad guys with cats." Jessie Krufts, James Bond Impersonator
"It's far too close to a hotdog, almost cannibalism." Kent Rugby, Catcher
"I always sleep with my tongue out of my mouth. It scares the home help every time." Fred Flunkee, Good Ole Boy

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