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Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - One can be carnivorous, vegetarian, vegan or Pescatarian. But the United States Depatment of Agriculture (USDA) has just released updated nutritional guidelies on what constitutes diets of Americans. The new guidelines classify  people who eat beef or chicken as vegetarians. In explaining the new guidelines, a spokesperson for…
Saying that he has "no problems with the gays", and claiming he wasn't targeting any specific group, President Donald Trump enacted punishing tariffs on the imports of glitter this afternoon after seeing several clips of Pride celebrations on Fox News.
St. Louis, MO – (SatireWorld.com)
Eleven convicted pedophiles from the Missouri State Prison have filed a lawsuit in a St. Louis court against several high schools. They allege that the car washes put on by the school cheerleaders, band, softball team, volleyball team, and other groups pose a clear and present danger to men and are designed to appeal to the prurient interest of all males, even though the females in question may be under the age of consent.
SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Jose Bureau) - After many years of debate, experts have finally confirmed that the computer is not a 20th Century Invention. A joint statement was issued today signed by top technical and religious experts, saying that Apple, Microsoft and other computer pioneers did not invent the computer. They added:…
Dawsopn, GA - (satireworld.com)

Farmer Elmer Cadfrey thought Tuesday’s visit by the History Channel’s American Pickers duo would be a profitable day for him and a chance to unload a lifetime of junk he collected in two of his three large Civil war era barns. Sadly, he spent most of the day down at the Dawson Health Clinic with an ice pack on his nose.
Hailed as a landmark achievement for the African American community, the pick nevertheless has some fans crying "foul".
Attorney General Jeff Sessions today once again turned to The Bible when pressed with more heated questions regarding the Trump Administration's policy of separating the children of men and women caught attempting to illegally cross into The United States - this time however to a series of passages that have heretofore never existed.
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com)

Psycho-surgeons at the Russia Investigation say a succubus – or female sex demon – may have sucked out the President’s brain and laid an egg in the flaccid cavity. So expect more crazy hatch-lings to soon pop out.
SatireWorld.com
A group of Democratic lawmakers paid a surprise un-authorized visit to a immigrant detention facility in New Jersey on Father’s Day to speak with asylum-seekers who have been separated from their families under a new Trump administration policy.
Pyongyang NK – (satireword.com)

The FBI has accused North Korea (NK) of hacking Sony Pictures Inc computers, stealing executive emails and making physical threats against Sony and other US organizations that would show the film “The Interview.” This black comedy film is about the assassination of Kim Jong Un, NK’s Supreme Leader. President Obama has promised retaliation tactics by the USA to NK at a time and place of his choosing.
Calling their Cleveland Cavaliers team the "true champions", Donald Trump invited Kevin Love and Kyle Korver to the White House for an NBA title celebration today.
SINGAPORE (The Adobo Chronicles, Singapore Bureau) - The historic summit between U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korea’s Kim Jung-on came to an end with The White House announcing a major breakthrough in as far as militarization is concerned Trump sought Kim’s advice on how to stage a grand military parade, Korean style. The U.S. President…
The Arizona senator, who’s battling terminal brain cancer, thinks someone suddenly died and made him the leader of the free world.

Proving that he’s determined to be a prickly thorn in President Trump’s side even while waiting to get the sheets changed on his deathbed, McCain once again tried to undermine the President by slamming the tariffs Trump slapped on China and Canada (you know, like the ones they charge on American goods).
SINGAPORE (The Adobo Chronicles, Singapore Bureau) - U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korean President Kim Jung-on have arrived in Singapore in preparation for their historic summit which begins tomorrow. On the eve of the summit, both leaders chose to relax and take it easy. Kim will play basketball with NBA legend Dennis Rodman while Trump…
Alice Marie Johnson is back in hot water with authorities after an early morning raid of the recently pardoned great grandmother's residence in Memphis Sunday netted over $4 million worth of ecstasy pills.
Despite recent Royal Wedding boosting popularity of matrimony in the UK, growing numbers of single people continue to believe in inconvenience of marriage. Consequently, wedding-themed magazine proposes self-marriage service allowing singles to walk down the aisle with themselves.
Is new exploitation movie 'I Shagged Hitler's Brains Out' pursuing a feminist agenda by depicting Hitler as a woman, or is it just a crude piece of misogyny, seeking to undermine the ‘#metoo’ movement?
Chappaqua NY- (satireworld.com)
Former Democratic President Bill Clinton and failed 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s home is in the small Westchester County town of Chappaqua NY. The town, not far from New York City (NYC), demographically has 1400 residents of which 2.5% are Hispanic and there are zero African Americans.
Today's White House press briefing took a dramatic turn when Press Secretary Sarah Sanders smacked a boy straight across the mouth.

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