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Dear friends, fans and followers, please catch these exciting Wallace Runnymede satire, fiction and poetry books before the deal ends, Tuesday midnight! You can find my books on national Amazon stores all over the world; not just the USA or…Read more Free Books Until Midnight! ›The post Free Books Until Midnight! appeared first on GlossyNews.com.
As The Great British Bake Off returned to our screens last night news has emerged today that 97% of the country’s A&E Departments went into crisis mode, with waiting times for treatment stretching out to as long as seven hours in some cases. Consultant Registrar, David Wilson, from Belfast’s Royal Victoria Hospital told us: ‘It...
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 9/18/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
There are at least two sides to a story. The client will think their version is the only true story. Don’t waste time convincing them of the truth.
"Honestly, it's made me think twice about dating in future. It's just not safe for cavemen these days."
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - He holds the distinction of being the most prolific Philippine Senator, having proposed the most bills that have become law.  But it’s really more of a numbers’ game as opposed to the actual content or significance of his bills. His name is Antonio Trillanes, a former navy officer…
Despite recent Royal Wedding boosting popularity of matrimony in the UK, growing numbers of single people continue to believe in inconvenience of marriage. Consequently, wedding-themed magazine proposes self-marriage service allowing singles to walk down the aisle with themselves.
Washington, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - One can be carnivorous, vegetarian, vegan or Pescatarian. But the United States Depatment of Agriculture (USDA) has just released updated nutritional guidelies on what constitutes diets of Americans. The new guidelines classify  people who eat beef or chicken as vegetarians. In explaining the new guidelines, a spokesperson for…
48 year-old Rick Motter of Sarasota, Florida etched the letters 'JO' into the back of his hand with a ballpoint pen this morning, a quick reminder to his future self to masturbate later in the day.
Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) travels to Moscow tomorrow to trade US military secrets to Russia in exchange for video surveillance of Trump and Russian prostitutes engaged in one or more golden showers.
According to multiple posts on the online social network NextDoor.com, President Trump has managed to slip away from his Secret Service detail while on vacation in Bedminister and is currently loose on the streets of the small New Jersey town.
Wheel of Fortune – (satireworld.com)

After 35 years Vanna White has called it quits at Wheel of Fortune, one of TV’s most popular shows. The resignation caused a furor after it was discovered that the show’s computer system was hacked by Russians.
After victory in the Northern Trust Tournament in Paramus, New Jersey, the American professional golfer Bryson DeChambeau was declared Duke of Burgundy by her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II for his impressive lineage, and proper play.
“Honestly your Honour, I was acting in the best interests of the local community when I burned down my eighty five year old neighbour’s garden shed. I had very reliable information from a bloke down the pub that he was actually running a drug factory from there..."
Los Angeles, CA - (satireworld.com)
California Democrat Maxine Waters became flustered at a recent rally where she called for ‘impeachment’ but couldn’t hear her own words. Afterward, close confidants and aides suggested that the 78 year old congresswoman get her hearing tested.
Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com)

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s. The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.” Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and Drug Administration to determine the exact way that the cookie does crumble.
Denver, CO - (satireworld.com)

A gay pride march turned violent in Colorado yesterday when two men were beaten to death for not standing when the rainbow flag was carried past them. Travis Johnson (black heterosexual) and Jack Swanson (white heterosexual) were sitting outside their business (Johnson and Swanson Barber Shop) eating their lunch in Denver when a gay pride parade past.
Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com)

The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.
NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com)

Moore and Kelly did meet up in Miami later in the week. She later remarked about how disgusted she was as Moore ate his way through South Beach’s finest restaurants and then spent hours in their suite’s bathroom making rather odd body noises.


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