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PHOENIX, ARIZONA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and extremely bored billionaire Donald Trump invited Black Lives Matter activists to his "Dogs & Fire Hoses Rally" in Phoenix later this week in order to open a dialogue. Trump supporters are being encouraged to bring breeds of dogs usually used by law enforcement agencies from home - if they have them - to facilitate the exchange of ideas during the rally, but Black Lives Matter activists in Phoenix have told TNA they were told to only bring themselves.
Billings, MT –  When you’ve got it you’ve got it.  You never lose it.  It’s that special aura and charisma that some of us can only dream about having.  Huey Lewis, 64 year old frontman of the band Huey Lewis and the News, has got it.  He’s been rockin joints for years and that man has not lost a step.
James and Knick talk of robots (both the transforming battling kind and the regular battling kind), Japanophilia, travel, and the mysteries of the candy aisle.
ANKARA, TURKEY (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan announced he was "blackout drunk" when he ordered a Russian Su-24 shot down on Tuesday. Erdoğan claimed to be completely sober again, and declared there was no reason for Russia to station naval vessels with anti-aircraft missiles closer to Turkey, or construct anti-aircraft batteries in Syria capable of shooting down aircraft in Turkish airspace.
"With this exciting advance from the Disney Genetic Imagineering Team, we are proud to bring Walt Disney's vision of a unique world of entertainment into the 21st century!"
SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a small government Republican declared he was outraged by the rising costs of prescription drugs in the United States. Thomas Basil, a construction worker and married father of two, blamed big government for too much regulation and taxation, and asserted allowing the free market to regulate itself was the only way to remedy the problem of expensive prescription drugs.
Is internet porn the new front line in the battle for press freedom? Campaigners urge web users to download more filth from the net to frustrate Tory plans to restrict access to on line pornography!
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles ) - It is common knowledge that the former Bruce Jenner was a Republican.  It is therefore not a surprise that among the first to welcome Caitlyn into their fold was the Log Cabin Republicans. Log Cabin Republicans is the nation’s original and largest organization representing gay conservatives and allies who support…
BARCELONA, Spain (The Adobo Chronicles) - In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) formally defined "planet," and the new definition excluded Pluto and reclassified it as a member of the new "dwarf planet" category.  It was a move that disappointed many Plutonians. Discovered in 1930, Pluto was originally considered the ninth planet from the sun. Many…
HOLLYWOOD, California  (The Adobo Chronicles) - Sony Pictures has just announced that Cameron Crowe has been chosen to direct a new film about the white woman who has been posing as African American.  The film is titled "Spokane," named after the city in which Rachel Dolezal headed the local NAACP chapter. Crowe, who has come under…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama designated the National Rifle Association (NRA) a Domestic Terrorist Organization and instructed the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to destroy the highly organized terror network "for waging a campaign of terror on the American people." Both DHS and the FBI - who have been warning of right-wing terrorism for years - have already raided NRA Headquarters in Fairfax, Virgina, and arrested key members of the organization they hope will help lead them to NRA leader Wayne Lapierre.
Even when science does what it’s supposed to do, nothing seems to change. It’s as if there’s some portion of the citizenry that resents scientists for pointing out problems.
Seattle, WA – Another NBA season is over with the draft quickly approaching. New draft picks means new hope for cities with NBA teams. “Everyone is excited about the NBA games coming back to their cities.  All we have left is our shitty WNBA team,” says Superfan Paul Gainer.
After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five years after it slipped beneath the waves on April 14th, 1912.
Ignorance of a subject doesn't stop Pope Francis from weighing in. Next encyclical: Kinky sex tips for Catholic couples...WorldsWisestOwl.com
After promising a ‘stocking-stuffer' like no other…And actually in a real pair of stockings, Santa Claus announced today the new cloning process will allow him to fulfill every male teenagers sexual dream for next Christmas too.
WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - In a ruling lost in the more newsworthy and controversial decisions handed down by the US Supreme Court last week, was another major victory for the homosexual community. In a 5-4 decision, the Court ruled that gays do have the right to write and publish satire.
Almost too much fun and excitement under one festive roof, everyone!
Donald Trump has had a rough month. After making racist remarks about Mexicans, the GOP presidential candidate and real estate tycoon lost his TV deal with Univision and had his menswear line at Macy's dumped. But Trump is anything but a defeatist, and his staff says he's now "en fuego."
SARANGANI, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  No rags to riches story could be more inspiring than that of Filipino champion boxer Manny Pacquiao. Growing up very poor in his home province of Sarangani where at a very young age he had to fend for himself and his family, Pacquiao rose to become one of the…

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