Check Please!
New York NY – (satireworld.com)

Newly elected NYC Democratic-Socialist NITWIT Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has tried to send a Text Message to the new Democratic Speaker of the US House of Representatives, to be determined (TBD).

Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com)
Jessica Simpson, the former bad luck charm for the Dallas Cowboys and it’s star crossed Ex-Quarterback Tony Romo, has been declared ‘out of shape and unable to perform’ since she’s ballooned to 250 pounds!
In a gesture of goodwill toward Democrats this week, House Republicans said they are glad to be "moving forward" after the 2018 midterm elections and are "ready to work in a spirit of bi-partisanship and mutual respect".
Walnutport, PA – Political newcomer and long-shot candidate for Pennsylvania’s 7th congressional district, Rona De Maritius (D-PA), on Tuesday, announced plans to introduce a controversial piece of legislation in the House, should she emerges victorious in next week’s midterm election.…Read more Long-Shot Candidate Proposes Four Ball Legislation to Counter Unfair Three Strikes Law ›
I plan to do great work today. Just as soon as I...check Instagram to see if that guy posted more dumb pictures of that thing he thinks is cool.
White House Press Officer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, has sensationally claimed that under-fire CNN hack, Jim Acosta, launched a frenzied sex attack on a young female intern after she tried to wrest the microphone from the newsman’s grasp during Wednesday night’s fraught press conference at The White House. Speaking to Breitbart News, Sanders said: “As soon...
Washington, DC—Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is currently recovering from three broken ribs at George Washington University Hospital, but exactly how she sustained those injuries remains in question. Initially Justice Ginsburg stated she, “Fell down on the job”, literally, but rumors began circulating how she was only attempting to make a faulty workman’s comp claim. Later, while on copious…
by Jim Hightower.The Trump administration continues to lay siege on public assets. Donald Trump hates you. But don’t take it personally, he hates me, too — and all of us who constitute The Public. The billionaire’s antipathy ... Read morePulling a Con on the People by Attacking Public AssetsSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Yvette Harrell ran against Xochitl Torres Small for the congressional seat in Southern New Mexico. Party doesn’t matter right now because both are reprehensible (there wasn’t a lesser of two evils in this campaign). Harrell misdirected money (over half a million dollars) from the state to her business (while in the legislature) and also another half a million to her mother’s business and had what would have been ethics violations if the state had (previous to now) an ethics committee.
Dan Lipskey won another four years as the Governor of Mississippi despite spending Election Day shooting up a Whole Foods in Gulfport Tuesday.
After making the alarming announcement that Georgia's voting system had been hacked on the eve of the midterm elections, Secretary of State Brian Kemp announced this morning that the whole thing was just a crazy prank to rile people up.
Suffering from extreme fatigue and a broken political system that pits two unappealing parties against each other in never-ending rounds of bickering, voters across the US ran to the polls in huge numbers today in a bid to be ruled by a king and queen.
Jacksonville, FL – (satireworld.com)

Different genders using or misusing public restrooms, has been a topic of frequent discussion on social media. Many approve. Many not so much.
However, on Sunday a female Panthers fan gave the bathroom debate a visual no one will soon forget.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and Maxine Waters claim that they were insulted at a local Washington D.C. restaurant went they went out to lunch on Wednesday (October 31st). Said Pelosi, “we were on a break from out duties in the House and Senate and went together to get a bite to eat. Che Francois had the audacity to tell us that we our costumes were okay, but that we needed to remove our Halloween fright masks before being allowed to enter their restaurant. None of us were wearing masks! I have never been so insulted!”
San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com)
California democrats have demanded that Donald Trump move the military and National Guard away from the borders and allow the invaders marching through Mexico to enter the country by Tuesday so that they can vote in the mid-term elections.
Some Texas voters are calling foul on a series of bonus questions included on their ballots they claim are designed to give Republicans an unfair advantage in this year's midterm elections.
Speaking of that Honduran caravan.

Here’s a question for you. It’s about that caravan heading thousands of miles t o storm our Southern border.
I’ll make it simple…. Where do they dump?
The Hondurans in the caravan, the 7,000 people walking north to America, where do they go to the bathroom?
How do they eat and sleep and store their clothes? How is it that after a week on the road they are clean and their hair and clothes are well kept?
Selvoka, Poland-(satrireworld.com)
Former Ukrainian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia. He was finally arrested for lying on a citizenship application and entering the US illegally immediately after the end of WWII. He was deported after a lengthy immigration battle back to Germany.
Durango, CO-(SatireWorld.com)
David Brady of Durango, Colorado has been arrested by local authorities for deviant behaviour. The sixteen year old high school student is being held in county jail pending psychiatric evaluation and could be sentenced to time in a state mental hospital.


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