Check Please!
"That is one devious dog owner. Sounds like a foreigner. Don't let him in the country." Jessie Krufts, Donald Trump Voter
"I would be scared of a cucumber that creeps up from behind. Are you sure it isn't a giant green caterpillar?" Jessie Krufts, Caterpillar Collector
"In my experience, the joke soon wears off on a nude beach." Jessie Krufts, Fisher Man
"It's a super triple double king bonus plus plus size doggy-bed. That dog will feel like a doggy billionaire." Fred Flunkee, Salesman, Beds Inc
"If this turns out to be the new James Bond plot I will be livid." Jessie Krufts, Cinema Goer
"If I was Darth Vader I would have a man coming up behind me to pick up my poop too."
"Yay! I also love the whiney yelp they do when they get wet for the first time. YouTube, it's over to you."
"So that's where I put my bug shaped hat." Jessie Krufts, Hat Collector
"That would be even funnier if it was a person in a hamster suit. Sports mascots take notes." Jessie Krufts, Hamster Designer
"I never knew those dolls were bullet proof. I suppose if you think about it they need to be quite tough or they'll puncture." Jessie Krufts, Scientist
"Ew. That's like an off color Barney. 3/10." Jessie Krufts, Childrens TV Presenter
"Yay! They could do that twice a day if Dad was a postman." Jessie Krufts, Doesn't Get Out Much
"Flat footed varmint! GETOUTTAHERE!!! YAH!" Fred Flunkee, Varmint Catcher
"That's the most boring video game I have ever seen. GET A MOVE ON!" Jimmy Popper, Gamer
"But how many Chinese people jumping together on it strong is the bridge? You call this reporting?" Jessie Krufts, Geographer
"The aggressive cock sure always beat the passive do gooders. Unless you are Donny and Marie." Jessie Krufts, Pacifist
"Water melons have a far cuter butt than zebras in this reviewers opinion." Kent Rugby, Healthy Man
"Is the bird named George W Bush by any chance?" Jessie Krufts, Presidential Historian
"It's still a better love story than Twilight." Jessie Krufts, Bean Counter
"I tickle torture my cat behind his ears. He fetches me my newspaper now, well more like drags it to me... But, on balance, brilliant."

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!


Get today's toon from