Check Please!
QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Now that the closure of Boracay Beach Resort has come and rehabilitation has begun, Philippine President Rodrigo Dutete has focused his attention on the University of the Philippines, the state-funded learning institution. Duterte issued Executive Order No. 69, ordering the immediate closure of the Diliman and other…
The Kremlin has angrily accused the British Government of assassinating an ex-MI6 double agent, resident in Moscow. Theresa May has denied British involvement and listed 194 alternative countries that might have been responsible.
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
Rosie O’Donnell announced today that she was not upset by Miley Cyrus’s performance at MTV’s VMA Awards by paraphrasing President Barack Obama and saying “If I had a son, he’d look like Miley Cyrus.” Miley upset viewers everywhere by bumping and grinding (now called “twerking” by the texting generation) and then constantly rubbing her crotch suggestively with a foam finger during a musical performance at the awards show.
Washington DC: (satireworld.com) House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) tweeted to her constituents that she now wholeheartedly supports the NRA! ‘After a lot of soul searching and discussions with my US House leadership team of 1st “Horse Holder” Representative Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and 2nd “Horse Holder” Representative James Clyburn (D-SC) we have concluded it is the right thing to do.’
NYC, NY – (SatireWorld.com): A New York attorney suspected of laundering dirty money who says he ‘never stepped a foot inside the bouncing Check Republic’ will play schtum before the law courts his lawyer said today.
"Unlike some places, Dunkin' Donuts welcomes all races through its doors without prejudice or discrimination," Dunkin' Donuts Spokesman Riley Lahler remarked. "Black, White, Mexican, Oriental, everybody is family at Dunkin'."
Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

A Golden Retriever,as a “matter of Principle” was forced to file a law suit in Federal court after a BOA branch canceled their policy of handing out doggy treats during transactions at their drive thru window.
Russia's President Putin has condemned those who attempted to assassinate former Russian spy Sergei Skripal and his daughter, saying that they had been told to make it look like suicide. Claims that policy of out-sourcing assassinations in post-communist Russia has resulted in embarrassing ineptitude that threatens Russia's standing in world of political killings.
Expressing gratitude to the NRA for protecting their right to bear arms, people who spend every waking hour trying to get into the White House are glad they don't have to worry about anyone taking their guns.
Tracing their history back to the old roman tavern era, public houses have been the scummy cornerstone of the British community for centuries and should be avoided by tourists at all costs.
After strangling their boss at a status meeting this week, the 7th floor staff celebrated some new perks, like being able to wear jeans. And also discussed how to dispose of the body.
BALESIN ISLAND, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) -  First it was Boracay Island that Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte ordered closed for rehabilitation.  Now it’s Balesin Island. The closure order came just hours after yet another Filipino celebrity wedding was held on the island — that of television host Billy Crawford and model/actress Coleen Garcia. For…
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
After a string of recent scandal-ridden revelations, perhaps the biggest to hit the Obama Administration is the scope and size of the NSA’s intercepts of emails and phone conversations where virtually every phone call is recorded and passed on to the White House.
Pointing to evidence that the water was deliberately contaminated with botulinum toxin by the Syrian government, the US claims the act constitutes a clear transgression of the allies ultimatum against chemical weapons - an assessment the Assad regime emphatically denies.
Cambridge (UK) – (SatireWorld.com)
It appears only fitting that the world’s biggest fool, Al Gore, was on hand to bask in the excitement of the annual Oxford/Cambridge race on the Thames coinciding with the first day of summer, daylight savings time, and of course April fools day.
BERLIN, Germany (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) - Philippines’ Vice President Leni Robredo and other Filipinos were briefly arrested by German police after taking selfie photos at the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin. Others arrested included Senator Kiko Pangilinan, former Budget Secretary Florencio Abad and Congressman Bolet Banal. Apparently, it is against German law to pose…
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com): White House advisers are finessing some unprecedented diversionary moves to steady the President’s hand as ex-FBI chief James Comey’s eagerly awaited memoir readies to hit the shops.
The Trump administration announced on Monday that it will reverse Obama-era standards that banned dumping bright green toxic waste directly on your head.

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