Check Please!
Let’s be honest, feeling smart is way better, and so much more important, than being smart.  If you don’t feel smart, how can you be self-confident?  If you can’t be self-confident, how can you be a success?  If you can’t be a success, how can you feel smart?  See?
New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)

New New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who had already made a name for herself with her wild and outlandish accusations, claims, and actions, has admitted that Rita Repulsa, the sworn enemy of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, is her biological mother “Like most little girls, my mother is my hero. I have modeled my life after her and want to do and accomplish everything that she has done. I want to continue her work. People say that I look a lot like her when I get emotional, and I consider that to be a great compliment.”
A new study has shown that most teens whose complexions are cleared up by any of the dozens of acne treatments currently on the market remain physically unattractive afterward.
Seeing no other way to remedy a dangerous situation, the president ended the government shutdown in hopes of averting a nationwide cheeseburger shortage.
Having already dipped into a bear market late last month, the Dow seemed to be staging a rally this morning when it gained nearly 200 points in early trading - before dropping a precipitous 2,600 points in the afternoon, triggering Wall Street's first rape and pillage market in 90 years.
Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

According to Chrissy Teigen next time you’re in Los Angeles, you can spend about two hundred and fifty dollars to make yourself feel vibrantly invigorated plus, get some extra energy through a thorough vaginal steaming just like the Hollywood stars do…And that’s according to aging model Chrissy Teigen who’s been getting her ‘clam steamed’ regularly at a fashionable LA spa.
Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren has announced that her candidacy for the office of President of the United States will be all-inclusive towards all people off all backgrounds. “No one will be left out in my bid for this highest of political office as I open my arms and my heart to people of all backgrounds,” said the Democrat.
Staking out what they hope will be another winning slogan, the president's campaign released a new theme line for his re-election in 2020: Make America Great Again Again
Once again, the eagerly awaited Darwin Awards have been announced for 2018.


DARWIN AWARDS FOR 2018
In hopes of finally putting all this nonsense behind Him, God decided to skip over the year 2019 entirely, and start the next presidential election ASAP.
Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com)

The national internet outage that affected several carriers/providers for internet and cell phone service has been blamed on several factors:
According to the just-released rundown of X-mas booty worldwide, children residing within the 90210 zip code of the affluent enclave of Beverly Hills raked in a total of $32 million worth of presents and goodies from Santa Claus this year, eclipsing the total haul of the landlocked South American nation by $3 million.
Washington, DC - (satireworld.com)

A sense of dread spread through the ultra-liberal ranks of the Democratic Party within hours after an update on Supreme Court Justice Ruth Badder-Ginsburg’s latest health crisis in which surgeons at Walter Reed Hospital removed two cancerous growths from her left lung. The Supreme Court Justice has had two prior bouts with cancer that she had survived.
Bonn, Germany – (satireworld.com)
SW has identified a German man who claims penis enhancement pills along with daily stretching exercise really does work!

Hans Schwantz a sausage maker from Holstein showed off the results of his self improvement regimen with his 9″ long, 3.5″ circumference schlong weighing in at 9 lbs to SW stringer and ‘futbol’ corespondent Harold Worth who was duly impressed and left speechless.
Although believing he was locked in a titanic struggle of multi-dimensional chess for control of the universe with the Being who created it, Martin Gimlok of Shelvre, Delaware, it turns out, has been playing something much closer to the popular game checkers.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

California congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was shocked and saddened to hear the results of her annual physical. The leading Washington Democrat was diagnosed with a case of bovine spongiform encephalopathy by doctors at Walter Reed. The findings were verified by the Mayo Clinic and the local offices of Planned Parenthood (where Pelosi receives most of her medical treatment in exchange for her continued support of abortion funding).
2018……….Get ready for the 2020 Beto and Joe show! By election day, O’Rourke will be walking on water and wearing a crusader’s cape courtesy of the main stream media’s manipulation and lies.
Oh! And Joe Biden? According to the media machine he’ll have the highest IQ and all the greatest loopy ideas leftover from the Obama Administration.
For the woman who has everything - this smart looking leather-bound book written by a Russian spy will give you the power to HYPNOTIZE your husband to do your bidding around the house, at parties, or even at his place of employment!
US Defense Secretary Jim Mattis abruptly resigned Thursday, dramatically boosting the chances of job seekers with no discernible skills whatsoever of getting a plum cabinet position in the most powerful organization on earth.
Having trouble keeping your New Year's resolutions? It's because you're a loser.

Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.

The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!


Get today's toon from