Check Please!
Bonn, Germany – (satireworld.com)
SW has identified a German man who claims penis enhancement pills along with daily stretching exercise really does work!

Hans Schwantz a sausage maker from Holstein showed off the results of his self improvement regimen with his 9″ long, 3.5″ circumference schlong weighing in at 9 lbs to SW stringer and ‘futbol’ corespondent Harold Worth who was duly impressed and left speechless.
Although believing he was locked in a titanic struggle of multi-dimensional chess for control of the universe with the Being who created it, Martin Gimlok of Shelvre, Delaware, it turns out, has been playing something much closer to the popular game checkers.
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

California congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was shocked and saddened to hear the results of her annual physical. The leading Washington Democrat was diagnosed with a case of bovine spongiform encephalopathy by doctors at Walter Reed. The findings were verified by the Mayo Clinic and the local offices of Planned Parenthood (where Pelosi receives most of her medical treatment in exchange for her continued support of abortion funding).
2018……….Get ready for the 2020 Beto and Joe show! By election day, O’Rourke will be walking on water and wearing a crusader’s cape courtesy of the main stream media’s manipulation and lies.
Oh! And Joe Biden? According to the media machine he’ll have the highest IQ and all the greatest loopy ideas leftover from the Obama Administration.
For the woman who has everything - this smart looking leather-bound book written by a Russian spy will give you the power to HYPNOTIZE your husband to do your bidding around the house, at parties, or even at his place of employment!
US Defense Secretary Jim Mattis abruptly resigned Thursday, dramatically boosting the chances of job seekers with no discernible skills whatsoever of getting a plum cabinet position in the most powerful organization on earth.
Having trouble keeping your New Year's resolutions? It's because you're a loser.
Three pilots died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
Top Brexiteer switches sides following visitations from three ghosts with visions of Brexit past, present and future. Spectre of a far from Happy Brexmas with Santa being denied free movement to deliver presents, leads to cabinet minister embracing second referendum and 'No Brexit at All'.
Santa's secret sweat shop exposed! While elves toil in slave conditions on factory floor, Santa lives life of decadence in penthouse, enjoying sex and drug parties!
Meet the 'Brexit Preppers' as they prepare their 'Brexit Bunkers' for the chaos they believe will follow a 'No Deal' Brexit. Top 'Prepper' tells of how tinned food, medicines, even illegal drugs, European porn and prostitutes are being hoarded in preparation for Brexit. Reveals that he is prepared to defend his bunker by force, if necessary.
Congresswoman Maxine Waters went on the airwaves today praising the celebration of Kwanzaa and wishing celebrants a ‘happy and healthy’ Kwanzaa.
She's doing so well is that woman, she thought. A woman in that job has to be much better than a man has to be. She's doing really well. A man couldn't have done that. Well done, I say.
What does the Downing Street cat think?
New York, NY – (satireworld.com)

Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday. In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy. Do not go shopping for Christmas presents and avoid this travesty of old Jim Crow segregation.” As the statement contained no alliteration, it is obvious that it was not written by Jackson. As it was grammatically correct, it is also obvious that it wasn’t written by Waters.
An Illinois radio station is pulling Irving Berlin's Christmas classic "White Christmas," citing the tune's "anachronistic racial overtones".
Chuck Schumer sits askew from President Trump in the video of the year...
He finally had 48. He had waited for seventeen weeks and finally his target was met. But before he could set in motion his plan, before he could call anyone, another one came in.....
In the wake of revelations concerning contributions by Russian oligarchs, the National Rifle Association announced an official name change to better clarify its goals in the US, and will be known going forward as the National Russian Association.
Scotch Plains, NY – (satireworld.com)

Kleenex, a division of Kimberly-Clark, has announced that they are releasing a new line of their popular facial tissues made specially for Democrats to use when crying over losing elections, seeing a robust economy, paying lower gas prices, and other events that may go against their programmed agenda. Called “Pity Me Tissues,” the new product is expected to be available by late January (the second anniversary of Donald Trump’s inauguration).

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