NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Fox News talking head Bill O'Reilly claimed he had "three to five black friends" so everyone should "shut their trap," because he had the credentials to talk about race relations in America. O'Reilly needed two days of constant public pressure to recall how many black friends he had after political pundit Kirsten Powers asked him that very question on "The O'Reilly Factor."

Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America, a former colony of Great Britain, won a quiz about French Presidents in October 2014, a White House spokesmom admitted last night.

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

At least £1.5 trillion has been lost in a nationwide scam that 'encourages' people to unwittingly transfer their money into a fraudster's account, according to Financial Fraud Study (FFS).

‘It’s a clever ruse, and utterly believable,’ said a spokesman for FFS. ‘The victim's employer receives a demand from a shady outfit calling itself HMRC to take a percentage of wages out of the victim's pay packet, falls for it, and then transfers the money to a 'safe account' where it can be frittered away by the fraudsters.’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles®) - As Barack Obama was speaking at a White House event honoring LGBT Pride Month on Wednesday, a heckler started yelling at the President. The heckler was later identified as Jennicet Gutiérrez, an undocumented transgender immigrant who was protesting deportations under the Obama administration. An immigration group claimed Gutiérrez was a founding member of Familia TQLM…

Bilderberg is not the only conspiracy, claims journalist. What is secret of mystery group which meets at budget hotels? Is there a 'Conspiracy of the Insignificant'?

A new case study shows that squeezing into skinny jeans may make you look fat. The Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry reported on Tuesday that doctors should take note and relay the information to their patients. The urgent message came after a woman in her mid-30s wearing skinny jeans took a look at herself in the mirror and didn't recognize the person staring back at her.

North Dakota has long expressed fears that South Dakota has not decommissioned all the missile silos it was supposed to in the 1980s and 1990s. North Carolina, in turn, suspects South Carolina of widespread industrial espionage in its high-tech Research Triangle Park, an area near Duke University where several leading biotech firms reside.

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles®) - During an interview this week with Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush, FOX news commentator Megyn Kelly declared she was an Independent, having voted for both Democrats and Republicans. During a phone interview with Glenn Beck, CNN anchor Don Lemon admitted he was a conservative. Today, both news cable networks said…

The U.S. Treasury is scrapping its plan to replace Alexander Hamilton’s visage with that of a woman’s. Instead, Hamilton will simply be given hair extensions and a slight makeover.

COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA (The Nil Admirari): Today, the South Carolina legislature banned the Confederate flag from state government in response to last week's racially motivated shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church that killed nine black churchgoers. Governor Nikki Haley praised the move, but cautioned it involved compromising with the flag's supporters who demanded all homes and businesses in South Carolina hang a visible portrait of Confederate President Jefferson Davis.

Seattle, WA – Another NBA season is over with the draft quickly approaching. New draft picks means new hope for cities with NBA teams. “Everyone is excited about the NBA games coming back to their cities.  All we have left is our shitty WNBA team,” says Superfan Paul Gainer.

Dan Boyer of Tempe, Arizona took his 40,000th crap this week.

The Twittersphere blew up while fans watched Kaitlyn Bristowe, this season's Bachelorette, take hopeful future husband Nick Viall to her room for the night. But Viall, who was a disliked contestant on Season 10 of the show, seems to already have his eyes on another prize.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The United States announced today is was putting "great effort" into "being more stupid than Russia is crazy" by risking war with Russia over Ukraine. President Obama said his administration would continue sending American military forces to NATO members in Eastern Europe so long as Russia continued to deploy more troops on its border with Ukraine.

As the nation debates the immorality of the Confederate flag, a Southern activist group is taking it upon themselves to remind people of who they were over 150 years ago. After news broke about changing the $10 bill to feature a woman, Southern activist group Dern Tootin' started an online petition to change the face of the $50 from Ulysses S. Grant to Robert E. Lee.

"I've trained my dogs to run when they hear violins playing too. Can't be too careful these days."

Putting the Catholic Church's money where the pope's mouth is, the Vatican is installing iconographic windmills following a papal encyclical calling for urgent action on climate change.

Jindal vetoed a chance to prove he still has a shred of decency when he struck down a provision prohibiting State Police from paying for his security detail during campaign events.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles ® )  - The City and County of San Francisco is trying its best to rid itself of the reputation of being one of the places in the U.S. with the most expensive rent, what with the monthly apartment rent averaging in excess of $4,000. As more and more high-rise condominiums…