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NEW YORK CITY--In an effort to increase membership and an eye toward modernization, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America will soon begin allowing girls to complete many of the tasks required to be Girl Scouts on the internet, according to GSUSA Director of Communication Hannah Marquez.  Marquez cited the recent success of…
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles ) - A woman in Russia accidentally shot herself in the head with a gun. A Chinese tourist toppled a centuries-old sculpture at the Louvre Museum in Paris. A German pilot de-pressurized a commercial aircraft at an altitude of 29,000 feet when he opened the cockpit window. All in the…
Billings, MT –  When you’ve got it you’ve got it.  You never lose it.  It’s that special aura and charisma that some of us can only dream about having.  Huey Lewis, 64 year old frontman of the band Huey Lewis and the News, has got it.  He’s been rockin joints for years and that man has not lost a step.
A man dressed as a man down the pub has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.
Biloxi, MS –  It all went down at a small Piccadilly Cafeteria in Biloxi.  All the food sat in the back room freezer waiting to get the call to the microwaves and the food lines before human consumption.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Citing a major conflict of interest, Justice Anthony Kennedy said today that he will be recusing himself from further deliberations and the eventual vote by the Supreme Court as it prepares to issue a landmark decision on gay marriage in the United States. The Supreme Court is expected to rule…
Every student who entered the 2015 Purina Puppy Chow National Spelling Bee clinched the title yesterday by attempting to spell words.
DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles) - Texas is among the 32 states that still have the death penalty on their books. The Lone Star State is known for the most number of executions. In an effort to rid itself of the unsavory reputation as the 'killer state,' and to cut down on the state government's enormous…
How do you put an end to transgender bathroom discrimination in a country that thinks its own genitals are tools of the devil, much less anyone else’s? Simple...
Let’s not ban the latest racist word and simply wait for the next one to come down the turnpike. Let’s seize control of the process and pick the next one ourselves.
AUSTIN, Texas -- Nine bicyclists were critically offended and dozens more were irked after a confrontation at a downtown Austin restaurant led to a slew of insults being fired.
Researchers at the University of Southern Ohio have completed a survey of the world’s kinkiest professions. Many of the sciences ranked highly, but none quite as high as mechanical engineering
"I was hoping he would flip one of the pancakes onto his back and then he could hilariously run round and round at a glacial pace chasing his own tail! Disappointed."
Just when I thought May was going to breeze by without anything Horrorscope-worthy (Cinco de Mayo is overdone, Memorial Day is at the end, etc.), Louisiana state Rep. Mike Johnson swooped in with a fresh batch of ridiculous.
Councilman John Delgado joins Jeremy, Sunny, and Sunny's vibrating testicles to discuss Gov. Bobby Jindal, lecherous teachers, and dead BASE jumpers. Wilborn Nobles and Elbis Bolton also introduce their POWER app.
Fears were growing last night that pandas, some as old as 5, were pooping too much from all the bamboo they eat, according to scientists.
Hockey is awesome and it plays on televisions in sports bars. People watch those televisions and drink alcohol.
LEVITTOWN, Pennsylvania (The Adobo Chronicles) - Earlier this week, The Adobo Chronicles reported that it was raining spiders in Goulburn, Australia. It seems the Aussies had it much better than residents of Pennsylvania, U.S.A. A Levittown family says their daughter's Sweet 16 birthday party was ruined when a passing airplane dropped human waste on the celebration Sunday evening. Joe…
Being locked up deprives you of plenty of things that make life bearable — surgical gender reassignment can simply be added to the list.
Businessmen – what a bunch of scumbags, eh? Yeah, that's right, I'm dissing businessmen, in fact, I'm being anti-business. Heresy, I know, in today's political climate, but the fact is that businessmen and their businesses are no good...

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