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The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire experiences its second stabbing incident by a pupil in as many years, Ministers have proposed that staff be replaced with un-unionised piñatas. NASUWT leader Chris Keates referred to it as a ‘crude cost-cutting measure’, although more accurately it is a measure of cutting up teachers crudely. An Education spokeswoman countered: ‘Why should we invest years of graduate and post-graduate training i
A group of scientists from the UK and Canada have disclosed that they have indisputably proved that Bob is not, in fact, your uncle, leading to widespread existential crises in the Commonwealth. "We truly wish it were otherwise," said Niles Anderson, of the University of Toronto. "Because now it the world seems a lot more difficult as a result. Bob made everything much easier, in principle at least."
It's possible that smoking pot was the true Original Sin,' says Sen. Rick Sanitarium, after learning weed makes you horny. By Michael Egan, Humor Times.
"Mammon worship is now the faith in the Land flowing with Koch and Money," said the Lord, throwing his support to Bernie Sanders. Michael Egan, Humor Times.
Saint Paul, MN – Scott and Marcie Hennings had never been to the zoo with their now 4 year old daughter Jessica.  In fact, Scott and Marcie had not been to any zoo for years themselves.  Scott recommended a family Saturday outing to the local Como Park Zoo and Conservatory.  Everyone was excited to see the big cats, rhinos, and giraffes.  With backpacks full of binoculars, sandwiches, sunglasses, and a small bottles of Bacardi, off the Hennings family went on their adventure.
BARCELONA, Spain (The Adobo Chronicles) - In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) formally defined "planet," and the new definition excluded Pluto and reclassified it as a member of the new "dwarf planet" category.  It was a move that disappointed many Plutonians. Discovered in 1930, Pluto was originally considered the ninth planet from the sun. Many…
Boulder, CO – Several studies have been conducted about how much bacteria food will collect when dropped on the ground.  This phenomenon, known as the “5 second rule,” has been a point of contention amongst scientists for years.  Is it ok to eat food that drops on the ground or should it be thrown away immediately?
Seeking to attract a mostly-overlooked constituency by the GOP, women, Sen. Graham goes for the gold. By Mike Kelly.
In my 15 years working as a librarian, I've learned that we do plenty of things for our patrons that aren't in our job descriptions. By Roz Warren.
Kim Jong-chul, older brother of Kim Jong-un, is North Korea's No. 1 'Swiftie,' and attended a Taylor Swift concert in England. By John Glynn, Humor Times.
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Many will remember the 1967 James Bond film, 'You Only Live Twice,' with its theme song that says you live "one life for yourself and one for your dream.' If we were to believe what's currently trending on Facebook and Twitter, 'Golden Girl' Rue McClanahan may just have lived (and…
"Behind every successful catching man is a good woman there to take the bottle of beer out of his hand before he does it. Yeee hargh!" Jessie Krufts, Red Neck
Yelp launched DreamYelp.com today, a new website that will allow users to evaluate businesses they patronize in their dreams.
Jeremy, Sunny, and Robert Rau talk about cerebral shrinkage, McKinney, Sea-go Seafood, and people whose only talent is crapping on other people's comedy.
President Barack Obama and U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz: How well can you distinguish between these two political polar opposites?
It’s taken me three years now to accumulate this knowledge, but if you think you or someone you love may be a TV binger, the following is a list that may help you cope.
Gov. Bobby Jindal's spokesman attacked a Democratic presidential candidate for stating he wants to see the U.S. go metric. What do you think about this?
A number of our readers have written in to ask how much it costs now to urinate in the streets in Magaluf following the recent law changes.
LOS ANGELES, California ( The Adobo Chronicles ) - Technology has definitely caught up with America's new generation of teenagers. Or is it the other way around? Today, the Field Poll released a new nationwide opinion survey involving 5,000 Americans throughout the country -- aged 13 to 19 -- asking them one open-ended question: "What do you…
LONDON (The Barbed Wire) - British solo artist and former lead singer for The Smiths, Morrissey, said today he thinks President Obama is "white inside" because he doesn't seem to care more about black youths who are having run-ins with police. To deal with his anguish, he says he's thinking about writing a depressing song…

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