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Ryanair has come up with another clever way of making more money by deciding to charge passengers an extra fee for those who want to travel on an actual aircraft. After purchasing their tickets passengers will be given the option of a plane or no plane. CEO Michael O’Leary hopes most people will choose to...
The American Southwest—President Trump has ordered a review of over two dozen national monuments located all across the southwest. Many are calling the president’s attempt to rollback Obama-protected lands for the purpose of exploitation, despicable. President Trump told the press today to “Chillax, folks! There’s a lot of wood, water and minerals totally untapped out there in the dirt and, with new technologies, you…
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In New York this week, the president sought to right what he saw as a terrible wrong, namely that the United Nations had been thieving all of his money.
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The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has nominated ex-President Barack Hussein Obama for a special Emmy for Outstanding Acting Performance for his 2016 (his last,thankfully) State of the Union Address. The speech, filmed before a joint session of Congress and broadcast nationwide in January, was an open microphone for the President to present his review of the previous year and his plan for the next. Judges said that this was a special Emmy and was not in the Movie or Miniseries or Reality TV categories.
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TV chef Nigella Lawson made a recent personal confession to the TV audience while on the popular Maury Povich show, claiming because of her breast size, she hasn't seen her feet in over 14 years.
Just looking at your faces, I know I’m going to end up the villain here. You want free health care for all and a tasty breakfast everyone can love, and the only thing standing in the way is me saying no. But someone has to be the adult here and say you can’t just do what you want regardless of nutrition or economics.
I was going to make Jared Kushner my 7th top friend, but then I remembered that having family members in your top 8 is LAME.
Wayne Rooney has provided a timely reminder to fellow Manchester United players of his value to the team, following his appearance on the subs bench last weekend and ongoing speculation that he is out of favour with new manager Jose Mourinho.

‘Out of interest, how are you guys getting to Stoke next weekend?’ Rooney asked a crowded dressing room after Saturday comfortable win over Leicester City. ‘Obviously, I usually take us in my Ford Transit. Nice and warm in there with the underseat heating, we can crank up the tunes on the stereo, but it does kinda depend on whether I’m actually playing
Nogales, AZ—An angry Tweet from Donald Trump has enslaved thousands of ‘snowflake’ liberals for the single purpose of building his promised border wall. The President told the press today, “I said the Mexicans would pay for the wall and clearly some of the folks we detained this week are pretty brown, really brown people. Sure, some are just tan because we picked them…
by Matt Rotman.Apple’s surprise announcement of the iPhone X finally let’s the War Babies publicly decry public assistance to anyone but them. Apple introduced three new iPhone models this week, but only one optimally allows Baby Boomers ... Read moreSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
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Kenyan game preserve officers tracked down and killed a 45 foot long crocodile today after it was seen leaving a village shortly after it decimated the most of the inhabitants. The massacre occurred during an evening celebration.
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A 19-year-old Baltimore man is dead after police say he accidentally shot himself while taking ‘selfies’ while holding a loaded magnum revolver.

De’Jang Alonso Smith died of a gunshot wound to the throat about 1:30 p.m. Tuesday at an apartment in southwest Baltimore.
Quarterback Matt Ryan tore both his ACL and MCL when he slipped on a patch of ice this morning. A seemingly unlikely accident considering the balmy weather in Atlanta this time of year, your starting fantasy football quarterback will miss the rest of the season along with the rest of your first string roster, all of whom were also either suspended, placed on injured reserve or died during the last 24 hours.
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Women who received twitters, e-mails, and other forms of transmitted photographs from Congressman Anthony Weiner have stated unanimously that they all thought his nose was his most prominent feature. In fact, a House subcommittee is now looking into the possibility that sending pictures of his nose was really the pornography in this case.
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An Islamic cleric residing in London said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”
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In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted “The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair.” –

Be the first on your block to grow your own penicillin! Why waste that moldy bread when it can be turned into a life saving wonder drug in just a few days!

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Pope Francis left the Vatican on Monday to travel to the US on a visit to shrines and diocese leaders. He hoped to stop at various religious landmarks he hadn't officially visited as Pope in previous US visits.
The author of over one dozen papers questioning the validity of climate change, Balling, who resides in Florida's Ft. Myers area, went on to deny that she has ever owned any outdoor furniture or that she once had a trampoline in her backyard despite reports to the contrary.

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