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I can't help but be ashamed of how materialistic I used to be. I guess I should just be happy that buying this Buddha statue on Amazon made me the person I am today.
Reports suggest that an office worker, when asked how his weekend was, replied: “Quite quiet, actually”, implying that every other weekend was spent with a barrage of prostitutes snorting cocaine off a revolving disco ball. The office worker’s colleague, who asked the question, immediately regretted it as she was not remotely interested anyway in the...
The Five Stages of Grief were conceived by one Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who along with her contributions to the field of psychology also knitted the first Keebler elf flag. Her stages originally apply to the human psyche as we work through the dying process—a process I have mastered during Southside Tavern comedy nights.
by Lee Mays.Other administration officials are not charmed by her Snapchat hobby, saying she “hogs the only White House cell phone.” White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a busy woman these days. Taking over for the ousted Sean Spicer keeps Sarah very occupied, but she says she always has time to sit on her phone [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.
“Count ’em out, soldier!” Kelly ordered. “Your mama ain’t here anymore! I’m going to whip this White House staff into a lean, mean political machine – or die tryin’.”
You are probably aware that betting is a phenomenon that is fast catching on, and many people are engaging in this activity daily. One has no way of knowing that you will win when you do gamble, but it is better to ensure your finances are safe when you delve into the habit. It is […]
Superlatives for Michael Richard "Mike" Pence: "Most Highlighted Bible," "Most Likely to Stay on This Side of History," and "Best Hair."
A Colchester driver has had the wool pulled over his eyes again by ingenious global petroleum companies, through their clever use of fractions of pence in their pricing, it has been revealed. Steve Vickers subconsciously made the assessment that 114.9 pence per litre was ‘significantly less’ than 115 pence per litre and therefore excellent value...
Tweet Tower—On Monday Senior Adviser Jared Kushner announced his lack of any Russian connections, any collusion of any kind, or any real interest in Russia whatsoever, up to and including where it is located on a map. President Trump told the press today he is “proud” of his son-in-law’s ability to read a prepared statement as well as his…
There are two big things to report out on having seen Atomic Blonde. First of all, this Charlize Theron vehicle finally provides us with a more extended fight scene than the seems-like-forever fisticuffs we endured between Roddy Piper and Keith David in John Carpenter’s creepy, dystopian...
Not all heroes wear capes. In fact, some wear nothing at all. Such is the case with adult film star — and inspiration to millions — Madison Ivy.
Doctors caring for Steve Scalise announced that the Louisiana congressman is regaining his disdain for destitute and disenfranchised people quicker than any of them anticipated.
In a decision widely derided as "bizarre," President Donald Trump today tweeted his apparent intent to forbid Pontiac Trans Ams nationwide.
“Doesn’t have to be great, doesn’t have to include wifi, just has to get us back in time a little bit,” muttered a well-placed anonymous spokesman from the office of Boy Scouts of America.
Manchester, VT – (
The famous and often outrageous leftist ice cream manufacturer Ben & Jerrys has fallen out of step with the appetite America has for ice cream by fooling around with its number one dessert!
For unsuspecting residents of senior living community Silver Eagle Estates in Kingman, Arizona, it seemed too crazy to be believed: the quiet, unassuming couple next door had turned out to be gay.
Every day I put off cutting my nail only means that when I inevitably do, the annihilation of whole universes will be that much more substantial.
And here’s the final part! The answers appear in five minutes. If you found it funny (or just downright disturbing), feel free to share and tell your friends! 24. I have a vision of my country, and I cannot sit and watch things pass by. 25. You cannot get rid of me… You hate me […]
In response to the bewildering number of price comparison sites now competing to save you money on everything from travel to car insurance, a new comparison site,, has been launched to help consumers compare them. ‘I wasn’t sure whether Go Compare, Compare the Market, or Money Supermarket would save me most on my...
Guilt by omission is a favorite tactic of both sides of the media these days, but Hannity spent an entire hour neglecting to even acknowledge a leak suggesting our president is exploring options to fire special prosecutor Robert Mueller and pardon himself. On the night of this breaking news, Hannity and the rest of the Fox & Frauds hid…

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