Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Joe Biden briefed media today on his upcoming schedule, the status of several projects his office is working on, and his mastery of a deadly effective karate move that is virtually impossible to defend. “We’ll be in Omaha on Wednesday and Boise the following day,” Biden said, “And I’m going to request…
A local iPhone was bluntly honest in a dating profile when it wrote that its hobbies included “being taken into bathrooms” and “watching [its] owner crap.”
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - It's official. Philippines President NoyNoy Aquino now holds the Guinness World Record for the longest State of the Nation Address (SONA). Aquino delivered his last SONA Monday night before a joint session of Congress. From his first word to the last, it took him two hours and ten minutes,…
"But on the other hand, if little cute puppy there got a splinter in the underside doing that, that would be the howliest, gnarliest, sound you have ever heard. It would dissolve that smiley child's face into a red mass of water and sobby half spoken breaths. Even I would downclick that." Jessie Krufts, Incinerator Manager
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Former Governor of Arkansas and Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee announced today he much preferred Hitler to Obama, because Hitler "got good stuff done." Huckabee's remarks followed his scathing criticism of the nuclear deal President Obama brokered with Iran during which he stated Obama and Iran "will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven."
SYRIA (The Barbed Wire) - Once the poster boy for the evil of ISIS, the man credited with killing numerous hostages held by the terror group is reportedly now on the run from the very group that made him a star. According to the Jerusalem Post, John is in hiding, probably within a different JV terror group.
KENYA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta rejected President Obama's assertion "gays are people and deserve equal human rights, not government endorsement and enforcement of intolerant religious-based laws against them." Kenyatta assured the world he was deeply honored to be Obama's host during his visit to Kenya, but claimed "Kenya does not need advice on what to do with its much-hated social deviant homosexual population."
ATLANTA—Local good old boy lawbreakers Bo Darville and Cledus Snow are preparing to take on what some are calling an impossible task as they attempt to make a run to Texarkana, Texas in an 18 wheeler, pick up 400 cases of Coors beer and make a return delivery here—all in the next 28 hours. “We’re…
Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, widely regarded as one of the most important novels of world literature, has been given a 21st century refashioning to make it less boring for modern readers.
ON BOARD THE TRUMP JET (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - During her acceptance speech for the Republican vice presidential nomination in 2008, Sarah Palin said that she put the jet purchased by Alaska's former governor up for sale on eBay as an example of her attempts at ethics reform. Following in her footsteps, presidential candidate Donald…
Migrants have been making a series of complaints today at delays experienced at the Eurostar tunnel.
Big money runs today’s political game, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Check out Republican wannabe Scott Walker. Not a Republican? No problemo, amigo. Walker doesn’t check your papers. Well… except for that million-dollar check you have to write to his super PAC.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the results of a TNA survey of Americans who self-identified as a "small-government Republican" was released, and found 81.4% of participants did not know what being a "small-government Republican" actually meant. They ignored the real-world consequences to infrastructure, food and drug safety standards, regulations for clean air and water, education, healthcare, and many other government roles they simply took for granted.
ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Two weeks ago, CNN ran a banner headline announcing that ISIS was advancing "on two fonts." The headline meant to read "fronts." It was assumed that the error was a copyediting issue. But apparently, it was a hacking issue, and it happened yet again. CNN, while doing a live…
An expert formerly employed by the Department of Education, now thought to have gone rogue, admitted today that the government's much-vaunted 'academies' programme consists solely of calling schools by another word that means the same thing.
Since 2003, HumorFeed has been the web's best independent satire news and humor news hub. Our content is provided by an association of carefully selected writers, dedicated to providing some of the best and sharpest material online.
The web's best network of satire news sites
Bending the news until it breaks!
Get today's toon from