Cambridge, MA – Having sex just got more expensive. Dynapork Corporation of Cambridge has been granted a patent on the process of "biological reproduction," and plans to charge licensing fees for any human wishing to engage in a "sexual act that may result in reproduction."

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles) - CNN, the first and most respected 24-hour cable news network, launched on June 1, 1980. On that day, 35 years later, the network will look back at the biggest stories in the network’s history. Here are the highlights of those amazing 35 years: Don Lemon, telling black people they shouldn't wear…

Are Eastern European Immigrants Vampires and Werewolves Literally Draining UK's Lifeblood? Extraordinary UKIP Claims on Eve of General Election!

Former Ebola Czar Ron Klain, chosen by the Obama administration to lead efforts against the disease, has returned to the nation’s capital and is demanding his restoration.

Rick Santorum has launched a presidential exploratory committee that will attempt to discover a way to travel back in time to the year 1947.

"This is a very distressing finding with a potentially major impact on our tourism industry and our very quality of life overall," said Rolf Jonsson, a member of the Riksdag. "Sweden prides itself on a high standard of living and needs to take a very serious look at what has happened here."

The ink is barely dry on the referendum and now Irish mothers are pressuring their gay sons to get married.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles) -  Last week, President Barack Obama banned the sale of certain military-style equipment to police departments. He also thinks that police officers should have "softer looking" uniforms, pointing out that cops are making things worse when they show up to inner city communities wearing military-style equipment and riot gear. Taking its…

Hoping to grab the eye of Memorial Day shoppers, fashion mogul Pacific Sun released a t-shirt today with an upside down American flag on it.  If only they had known the shelling from angry Internet shoppers they were about to receive.  Or did they?  One such Internet rioter says the t-shirt maker knew exactly what they were doing.

NEW YORK CITY--In an effort to increase membership and an eye toward modernization, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America will soon begin allowing girls to complete many of the tasks required to be Girl Scouts on the internet, according to GSUSA Director of Communication Hannah Marquez.  Marquez cited the recent success of…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles ) - A woman in Russia accidentally shot herself in the head with a gun. A Chinese tourist toppled a centuries-old sculpture at the Louvre Museum in Paris. A German pilot de-pressurized a commercial aircraft at an altitude of 29,000 feet when he opened the cockpit window. All in the…

Billings, MT –  When you’ve got it you’ve got it.  You never lose it.  It’s that special aura and charisma that some of us can only dream about having.  Huey Lewis, 64 year old frontman of the band Huey Lewis and the News, has got it.  He’s been rockin joints for years and that man has not lost a step.

A man dressed as a man down the pub has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.

Biloxi, MS –  It all went down at a small Piccadilly Cafeteria in Biloxi.  All the food sat in the back room freezer waiting to get the call to the microwaves and the food lines before human consumption.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Citing a major conflict of interest, Justice Anthony Kennedy said today that he will be recusing himself from further deliberations and the eventual vote by the Supreme Court as it prepares to issue a landmark decision on gay marriage in the United States. The Supreme Court is expected to rule…

Every student who entered the 2015 Purina Puppy Chow National Spelling Bee clinched the title yesterday by attempting to spell words.

DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles) - Texas is among the 32 states that still have the death penalty on their books. The Lone Star State is known for the most number of executions. In an effort to rid itself of the unsavory reputation as the 'killer state,' and to cut down on the state government's enormous…

How do you put an end to transgender bathroom discrimination in a country that thinks its own genitals are tools of the devil, much less anyone else’s? Simple...

Let’s not ban the latest racist word and simply wait for the next one to come down the turnpike. Let’s seize control of the process and pick the next one ourselves.

AUSTIN, Texas -- Nine bicyclists were critically offended and dozens more were irked after a confrontation at a downtown Austin restaurant led to a slew of insults being fired.