‘These thieves stole £300,000 of racing memorabilia – when they could have just bought some sleeping pills.’

The Trump campaign has fired a second high-level staffer over a failure to meet debate deadline requirements. The Tuesday deadline for selecting the candidates that would appear on stage during the first Republican debate, which will be hosted by the Fox semi-news network, created drama both inside and outside the Trump campaign.

CLEVELAND, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - ...Fox News attempted to embarrass, humble, and knockout billionaire and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump during the prime time debate hosted by the network. For some inexplicable reason - and despite hundreds of interviews with Trump - Fox News forgot that engaging Trump was the trigger for the candidate's famous and often contradictory word salad, loud "truth telling," and general bombasity the Republican base loves.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Megyn Kelly is suing Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for harrassment after that feisty exchange on live television in Thursday night's GOP presidential debate. The FOX News anchor, in one of the highlights of the evening, asked Trump to explain his often-disparaging comments about women. "You've called…

IRVINE, CA (The Barbed Wire) - Tired of the mainstream media ignoring the story about their videos of Planned Parenthood admitting they participate in the illegal practice of selling aborted baby body parts, The Center for Medical Progress is 'rebranding' their videos to make them more user-friendly for members of the media.

A spokesman for Sky said 'This was an extremely rare event; and we have put in place many security measures, including trip wires, air tight doors and automatically extending contracts.

“Irrational Man” – a film review by Gary Chew If you’ve never worked in an academic environment, you know … a university campus, you’ll likely not grasp some of the nuanced humor unobtrusively woven into Woody Allen’s Irrational Man. Since I was only on-campus staff (not faculty), the Wood Man’s jokes are even more obvious.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republicans across the country continued to be outraged by President Obama's comparison of Republicans who want a war with Iran to Iranian hardliners who want a war with the United States. Fox News has led the outrage by calling Obama "unAmerican," "worse than Hitler," and "that Kenyan who stole the presidency twice."

CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has softened his stance on illegal immigration. During the FOX News GOP Debate last night, the real estate mogul said he still believes in building a great wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.  However, he stated that he was very much open to building a…

CLEVELAND, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Americans across the country confessed they were "very excited" to watch the first debate between Republican presidential candidates, which will be hosted by Fox News in Cleveland, Ohio at 9pm tonight. Nearly all Americans stated they looked forward to watching the well-informed Republican candidates debate serious issues, and were specifically looking forward to hearing billionaire Donald Trump's substantive policy goals.

'Obviously they were close. I mean they had to work together for all those years.'

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Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier this evening, conservative website WorldNetDaily (WND) - the same source that recently accused President Obama of being possessed by a Kenyan demon - reported billionaire and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was "the Second Coming of Christ." WND claimed its regular contributors Joseph Farah, Ann Coulter, Erik Rush, Pat Boone, and Ted Nugent were all at the same seance when they accidentally contacted Muhammad, but were quickly transferred to Mary the Mother of God, who told them Donald Trump was "the second coming of my son, Jesus."

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - It is a scandal worse than Watergate or Irangate. It's called Electiongate. (And these scandals always happen in Washington, D.C., go figure!). Today, The Washington Post  confirmed that former President Bill Clinton had a meeting with Donald Trump just before the real estate mogul announced his bid to become the next…

James Bond was stopped from boarding a flight after his weapon made the airport machines go off.

AUSTIN, TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton (R) refused to heed calls for his resignation today, and blamed Texas voters for electing "a criminal, a hypocrite, and a man of such low moral character" to be their state's chief enforcer of the law. On Monday, Paxton was indicted on three felony counts related to securities law violations that allegedly took place when he was a lawyer and state legislator, and he failed to disclose to investors in a tech company he was profiting from their investments.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - After a crazed gunman killed two people in a Louisiana movie theater during a screening of her movie Trainwreck, comedian Amy Schumer, cousin of Democratic brainiac Senator Chuck Schumer, became the latest celebrity to make a public plea for gun control. At a press conference, she offered her advice for people who find themselves defenseless in a gun-free zone.

The medical team danced around the operating theatre, miming the letters of the song's title at every chorus.

Slain Cecil the Lion’s brother releases statement Jericho, the brother of Cecil the Lion, has released a statement on his website, lionizing-lions.com, and it reads: “It is I, Jericho, the Luigi to Cecil’s Mario. As you can probably tell, contrary to reports, I am not dead, I was not killed in Hwange National Park.

CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The stage is set for the Republican presidential debate to be held at 9 p.m. on Thursday at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. It will air live on the Fox News Channel with moderators Chris Wallace, Megyn Kelly and Bret Baier. The GOP  debate will feature candidates who made it…