The couple, Anna Faris, who is apparently an actress of some kind, and Chris Pratt, likely a country western singer guessing from his name, were married for some period of time after probably having met on the set of some shitty TV show or the after party of some shitty music awards event.

Former president Bill Clinton has weighed in on revelations that Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has exhibited appalling behavior toward women.

After an image was released to the public of Queen Elizabeth II, Prince Charles, Prince William and Price George, the British public reacted warmly to the cheeky grin on the young Prince George’s face. It’s a public reaction that has not sat well with his grandfather, Charles.

Tracking of your mobile phone to show up unexpectedly and discuss unpaid balances is just one of the ways we're here for you.

ST. LOUIS – It was a magical moment during an otherwise contentious second presidential debate. Having just exchanged verbal blows over whether each candidate was fit to serve as president or not, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton broke into song in what pundits are calling “the first debate duet in political history.”

Top crime figures demand government lift lockdown to facilitate their members. Robberies, burglaries and street crimes at a standstill due to anti-Covid measures. Crime unions claim fewer people at home and more potential victims on the streets needed to kickstart UK crime.

Agreeing that carbon emissions must be reduced to halt climate change, tens of thousands of world leaders, government ministers, scientists and activists are attending the Paris climate talks after being flown to the city in private jets.

Langley, VA – (Satireworld.com)

“Makes British serial child molestor pervert Jimmy Savile look like the bloody virgin Mary,” a former intelligence bigwig said today amid claims Bill Clinton orchestrated a lavish whitewash to save his own fetid foreskin by ‘deleting’ evidence of a horrible predatory past.

A shocking new investigation into the origins of COVID-19 has revealed that the deadly virus was in fact engendered by deviant sex acts perpetrated by Dr. Anthony Fauci and Hillary Clinton on a hybrid wolf-man late last year.

Anvils, molten steel, but not oversized hammers, are moderately starred this month, as are oversized hats and trombones.

Women who inadvertently purr and men who grunt are badly starred particularly in the shower.

Beware the tolling of the bell for which you previously asked whom it tolled. Nothing good will come of it.

LAREDO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - You've heard it from the Trump supporters.  If their candidate Donald loses the presidential election, they will stage a violent coup to oust President Hillary.  So what happens next? In a bold manifesto uncovered today by Wikileaks, Trumpeteers (a name Trump supporters are calling themselves) will establish…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly billionaire Donald Trump dominated primary elections in Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Rhode Island. In all five states, Trump won the support of nearly 80% of Americans that regretted not growing up in 1930s Germany.

Alternative Link to Story: goo.gl/BmwOsL

Adding to her impressive legacy on the bench and as a civil rights attorney while living, the undead Ginsburg traversed the 4.5 mile distance between her grave and the SCOTUS courthouse in a little over five hours, evidently with the intention of reclaiming her position there at least throughout the upcoming election.

Traverse City, MI – (satireworld.com)
Michigan filmmaker and political activist Michael Moore has hurled himself into the debate over Syrian refugees by offering his house on a lake for refugees to live in while in the US seeking asylum.
While publicly chastising Michigan governor Rick Snyder for “disgraceful” “unconstitutional,” and “heartless and un-Christian actions.” Days later, he launched a formal “My Home Is Open” campaign in which he urged like-minded citizens to provide temporary housing to refugees. In the letter to Snyder, he wrote:

"The announcement that Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina are running mates really surprised me. Now I am more confused than anything, and the rest of the country is right there with me," explained Republican strategist Mark Kinness.

Four years after its last mayoral race was decided by a single vote, the town of Felicity, California, population 2, looks to be headed for a legal battle to determine it's next municipal leader.

"We don't want to be the Grinch who stole Christmas, just because you're on Santa's naughty watch list," says Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

LONDON, United Kingdom (The Adobo Chronicles, Berlin Bureau) - A new word has been added to the Oxford Dictionaries' 2017 edition.  That word is: duterte Many will immediately think of Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte when encountering this new word.  However, by definition, duterte is synonymous to hyperbole. Here's the new word entry that will appear in Oxford Dictionaries…

The Louisiana Supreme Court ruled Friday that a noted Baton Rouge jackwagon with a law degree may return to making a mockery of the nation’s justice system. The court ruled 4-3 in favor of ending disbarred personal injury attorney and prolific ass clown E. Eric Guirard’s seven-year hiatus from turning arguably the world’s greatest legal system into a hackneyed joke.

Donald Trump is not taking his loss in the 2020 Presidential elections sitting down. He is planning a comeback…