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BEJING ( — The recent hacking by China into a US government employee database has allowed Chinese officials to utilize stolen credit card information to make miscellaneous purchases of merchandise, running up a tab well into the tens of millions of dollars.
RALEIGH, N.C. ( – The North Carolina legislature passed a bill today allowing public employees to deny services to Jews. The “Freedom to Ignore Jews Act” goes into effect immediately, and it prevents civil servants from facing prosecution for refusing to do anything for Jewish people.
With rape rates continuing to rise and wait times for abortions stretching well over 12 months in many states, record baby supplies are making for an unprecedented adopters' market in the US.
SPOKANE, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) -The alleged white woman who has  been posing as an African American today revealed that she was also part Native American and part Hawaiian. For nearly a decade, Rachel Dolezal, who heads the NAACP chapter in Spokane, Washington, has claimed to be African American. However, her parents, who appeared on…
For the first time in seven months, the comet lander Philae has sent a message to the European Space Agency, and although officials are delighted to finally get some news, they say that Philae’s stories don’t add up.
The woman who's toplessness rocked a mountain range in Malaysia is being approached by The Sun to get them out again on page three, only months after page three was set to be axed and only days after she caused an earthquake in Malaysia.
One Suit, Two Suit, Red Suit, Blue Suit By Dr. Zeus One pantsuit Two pantsuit Red pantsuit Blue pantsuit Black pantsuit Blue pantsuit Old pantsuit New pantsuit This one has a little stain This one will repel the rain Say! What a lot of Pantsuits there are. Yes, some are red and some are blue…
The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire experiences its second stabbing incident by a pupil in as many years, Ministers have proposed that staff be replaced with un-unionised piñatas. NASUWT leader Chris Keates referred to it as a ‘crude cost-cutting measure’, although more accurately it is a measure of cutting up teachers crudely. An Education spokeswoman countered: ‘Why should we invest years of graduate and post-graduate training i
A group of scientists from the UK and Canada have disclosed that they have indisputably proved that Bob is not, in fact, your uncle, leading to widespread existential crises in the Commonwealth. "We truly wish it were otherwise," said Niles Anderson, of the University of Toronto. "Because now it the world seems a lot more difficult as a result. Bob made everything much easier, in principle at least."
It's possible that smoking pot was the true Original Sin,' says Sen. Rick Sanitarium, after learning weed makes you horny. By Michael Egan, Humor Times.
"Mammon worship is now the faith in the Land flowing with Koch and Money," said the Lord, throwing his support to Bernie Sanders. Michael Egan, Humor Times.
Saint Paul, MN – Scott and Marcie Hennings had never been to the zoo with their now 4 year old daughter Jessica.  In fact, Scott and Marcie had not been to any zoo for years themselves.  Scott recommended a family Saturday outing to the local Como Park Zoo and Conservatory.  Everyone was excited to see the big cats, rhinos, and giraffes.  With backpacks full of binoculars, sandwiches, sunglasses, and a small bottles of Bacardi, off the Hennings family went on their adventure.
BARCELONA, Spain (The Adobo Chronicles) - In 2006, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) formally defined "planet," and the new definition excluded Pluto and reclassified it as a member of the new "dwarf planet" category.  It was a move that disappointed many Plutonians. Discovered in 1930, Pluto was originally considered the ninth planet from the sun. Many…
Boulder, CO – Several studies have been conducted about how much bacteria food will collect when dropped on the ground.  This phenomenon, known as the “5 second rule,” has been a point of contention amongst scientists for years.  Is it ok to eat food that drops on the ground or should it be thrown away immediately?
Seeking to attract a mostly-overlooked constituency by the GOP, women, Sen. Graham goes for the gold. By Mike Kelly.
Kim Jong-chul, older brother of Kim Jong-un, is North Korea's No. 1 'Swiftie,' and attended a Taylor Swift concert in England. By John Glynn, Humor Times.
HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Many will remember the 1967 James Bond film, 'You Only Live Twice,' with its theme song that says you live "one life for yourself and one for your dream.' If we were to believe what's currently trending on Facebook and Twitter, 'Golden Girl' Rue McClanahan may just have lived (and…
Yelp launched today, a new website that will allow users to evaluate businesses they patronize in their dreams.
Gov. Bobby Jindal's spokesman attacked a Democratic presidential candidate for stating he wants to see the U.S. go metric. What do you think about this?

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