Providence, RI – The Clay Mathematics Institute awards 1 million dollars to any individual that can solve one of the seven Millennium Prize Problems.  Dr. Grigoriy Perelman is a recent winner by solving the Poincare conjecture.

Local Dallas resident, Eric Naughtbright, was shocked by the punctuation-filled response he received after asking his wife of eight years if she was having her exclamation point again.

The events of the past week prompt Jeremy to set aside his shitty jokes, news quiz, and Five Questions for an honest and open discussion with Jeramaine Jingles and Mike Honore about race relations in Baton Rouge and the rest of the country, as well as their personal experiences interacting with law enforcement and white people.

Alarmed by a recent scientific report that claimed the negative health effects of alcohol outweighed its overall benefits, people across the country immediately began contributing money to fund a study more favorable to drinking.

Prime Minster Theresa May told reporters this morning, at an impromptu gaggle to which we were not invited, that she is set to use her soon to be confirmed power to trigger Article 50 in the 'most unexpected negotiatingly strategic way possible'.

Philadelphia, PA – (satireworld.com)
Monica Lewinsky will speak at the Democratic National Convention’s Millennial Summit this week, opening up about her experience with cyber-bullying, her past relationship with President Bill Clinton, and how she’s more aligned now with the Libertarian Party now since leaving the Democratic Party in 1999 because of ‘the bad taste it left in her mouth’.

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering cow; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Thou damned cow!"

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - IKEA, the popular ready-to-assemble furniture and home appliances giant, will soon open its very first store in the Philippines, as confirmed by Swedish Ambassador Harald Fries. But Fries said the Philippine store will be like no other. In an effort to utilize indigenous materials and promote products that reflect…

A teenage girl has been traumatized and embarrassed for the last time and refuses to let her parents ruin her life anymore

Berlin, Germany-(satireworld.com)

A recently discovered trove of unseen secret documents dating from the Nazi era, disclosed a secret many allied intelligence services overlooked. Now for the first time read about Hitler's most secret medical ailment and how it affects a small bar in San Francisco.

Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com)

The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released its newest report on the recent discover of massive gold deposits that have placed the once sleepy Florida Panhandle town on the map of richest places to live in America. Chamber President Cletus Moore included in the report of 87 locals who are newly-made millionaires. The individuals have struck it rich by finding substantial gold deposits on once played out agricultural land that in some cases have been in family hands for generations.

TLC's latest reality television series, "Tipsy Tyler", garnered 2.5 million viewers for its debut last night.

"I’m amazing with a joystick but I don’t see how I’d make money with that skill on the streets."

Area video game store clerk David Wilson recently attended a party he believed to be filled with lowlifes incapable of understanding his love and appreciation for all things not made in America.

In his acceptance speech at the Academy Awards on Sunday night, a teary Leonardo DiCaprio dedicated his best acting Oscar to victims of bear rapes.

Two weeks into all the hoopla surrounding Brett Kavanaugh's Supreme Court nomination, I have just one question. Seriously? A man who grew up during the 80s and only sexually assaulted 2 3 5 women is a bad guy? Seriously?!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
A senior official at the Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco,and Firearms Office of Inspector General testified Wednesday that a a 57 year old career BATF official stored thousands of illegal gun owner records on file on his government computer, and has admitted to watching porn and ‘choking-the-chicken a lot’ while at work, sometimes for most of his day

The nastiest and most confrontational Republican debate so far devolved further Thursday night when moderator Wolf Blitzer revealed that Donald Trump is the father of Ted Cruz's two daughters.

Atlanta, GA (satireworld.com)

The Centers for Disease Control (C.D.C.) has contributed two billion dollars to Georgia Tech University to study the effects of drinking from a toilet on dogs. The research, to be conducted with several breeds of dogs over five years and in multiple locations, will examine the physical health of the canines, as long as any mental or emotional effects that they might receive. The World Health Organization (W.H.O.) has announced that they are going to match the funding and assist in the research with their own team of doctors.

Articles offering advice on how to spot infidelity abound, yet they are filled with lists of cliches, hunches, and unverifiable assumptions. Because of this, we’ve put together a more definitive guide...