The man, Gary McQueen, 34, had spent most of his adult life working in the local government. It was only when he began to suffer from frequent headaches that he was sent for a medical examination.

Government announces introduction of new ‘Universal Hate’ policy, under which all existing forms of hate crime, regardless of whether it is racial, religious or gender based, will be amalgamated into one single type of hate. Ministers hope new system will simplify process of hate crime for perpetrators, victims and police.

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com)
The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its second Zombie Alert for the Philadelphia area, advising citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in the event of a zombie breakout.

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.

Pittsburgh, PA - (satireworld.com)

Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).

Jesus issued a decree denouncing fantasy football today, effectively eliminating the hobby as a source of entertainment for devout Christians.

A conspiracy-minded green thumb insists malevolent forces are using common horticulture as a means of spying on the everyday activities of regular Americans.

A local accused rapist has been found to be very skilled at throwing a football during football games...

San Francisco, CA - (satireworld.com)

California Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) had a recent physical and reports of the odd medical findings were leaked to FOX News. Doctors discovered she is carrying historical artifacts that she never knew she had….Prehistoric cave drawings between her breasts!

The Prime Minster, Theresa May, has said the government is to spend some more time working on a poetic way to trigger Article 50.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
NBC News (sic) announced that Chelsea Clinton, the only acknowledged child of former President Bill Clinton, and ex-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, had been hired as a special correspondent for the NBC News network.

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com)
Former First Lady, Senator, Presidential Candidate, murderer, traitor, and crooked lawyer Hillary Clinton has revealed that Brett Kavanaugh sent her inappropriate emails of a sexual nature. Clinton, however, is surprisingly unable to locate the emails.

The overgrown man-child still requires adult supervision at night time, and only immigrants seem willing to handle to task.

The study, performed by Professor Ulf Ekelund, showed that the sedentary nature of office work can lead to diabetes, heart disease and some forms of cancer.

Transylvania Romania – (satireworld.com)
Dr. Victor Frankenstein III a graduate of Transylvania University (TU), Harvard Medical School and former Chief Geneticist at Johns Hopkins Hospital’s untimely death occurred in a bizarre incident this week. Dr. Dr. Victor Frankenstein III would have celebrated his 75th birthday on October 31, 2014 (Halloween).

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com)
Ronald McDonald is falling on hard times after a 47 year run as the official spokesman and mascot for the fast food giant McDonalds. Citing unresponsive interest in youngsters now preoccupied with apps, gaming, and computers, today's children find the yellow-jumpered mascot, well, just plain boring.

After twice being denied unpaid time-off to follow his son's Davenport, Texas baseball team to the Little League World Series last year, Kyle Lawson didn't think twice - he quit his job as a supply clerk and travelled to Williamsport, PA to watch his boy go 0-11 from the plate and make a throwing error that sealed his squad's early elimination from the tournament.

I’m getting sick and tired of hearing libtards and fake news trying to tell me Donald Trump lies to me. President Trump has never lied to me, and he never will lie to me, because he loves me more than anyone else in the world, including his own children.

Aquarius Horoscope (Jan 20 - Feb 17)
Flipping coins, juggling fruit, and single handed tricks involving the remote control on your television or hifi are set to pepper your leisure time with an element of artistic excitement.
Absentminded doodles with big loops, but not small round loops, are well starred during coffee break or phone calls on the first three Tuesdays of the month. An eager eye might indicate a latent talent for predicting the future, even satire, with your scribbles (look for big eared local politicians to mercilessly lampoon). You might try to find Understanding Doodles Fo

Satire World Editorial:
Last year, we had idiots camping out all over this country to protest the one percenters. They disrupted business on Wall Street and in many other cities just for publicity purposes. This group claimed to represent 99% of the American people, but they didn’t represent me.