Amos,MO – (SatireWorld.com)

Reginald Toaster, the famous 500 pound baby (now aged 17) allegedly fathered by Bigfoot, reported to the Ft. Smith, Arkansas Police Department that he had seen the late Elvis Presley. “The King was dressed in his famous white jumpsuit. I done seen him leave the Daylight Donuts and fly away in a UFO. It was the fat Elvis, it weren’t the skinny one. He still had them long, bushy sideburns and was wearing sunglasses. Before anybody accuses me of it, I didn’t have any fur in my eyes and I ain’t been drinkin’ any moonshine.”

Irving, Texas – (SatireWorld.com)
Buoyed by his tete-a-tete with President-elect Donald Trump rapper Kanye West has put forward his credentials to bigwigs at ExxonMobil, confident an imminent appointment is in the bag.

The University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business is offering a new course this Fall: BUS 415: Concealing Your Psychopathic Identity: The Secret to Becoming a Master of the Universe by Adopting the Persona of an Empathic Individual.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - In order to address any issue of conflict of interest between his personal business and the presidency, Donald Trump has just announced that he will dissolve his foundation. This means that  beginning at his January 20 presidential inauguration, Trump will no longer be seen in public wearing the…

In what many agree may be too little too late, Gov. John Bel Edwards has signed a measure banning any and all memes containing characters from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants from being posted from any IP address within the state of Louisiana.

Brian Haldane helps Jeremy White and Sunny Weathers start off another year of episodes by reminiscing about the good ol’ not-so-stabby days of Tigerland.

An increasing number of people in the UK are declining to express definite opinions when asked about complex issues of which they know little.

President-elect Donald Trump said yesterday that he wants to see English become the official language in all fifty states. "We must not allow ourselves to become a nation of Babels, like Canada, or Hawaii, which has two official languages: English and Kenyan,” said Mr. Trump.

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Supporters of Hillary Clinton have taken their meme and hashtag, "imwithher" all the way to the former secretary of state's nomination victory on Tuesday night, but U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan maintained his own meme of "imwithhim." And no, he wasn't referring to Clinton's rival Bernie Sanders.  He…

The world collectively woke up to a horrifying reality as they quickly discovered that 2017 started all over again.

CALIFORNIA (The Barbed Wire) - As soon as his WINO (Wife In Name Only) Hillary racked up enough delegates to secure the presumptive presidential nomination for the Democrats, Bill Clinton announced he will begin transitioning to a woman in the event that he becomes First Lady this fall.

Should convicted criminals who die before they've completed their sentences be brought back from the grave to finish their punishment? Newspaper suggests voodoo be employed to bring back as zombies offenders attempting to cheat justice through death.

Project Cockeyed Optimists topped the polls this week for the first time with 55% of voters saying they supported it.

The pound slumped and shares ricocheted off the walls in certain places on the downward spiral of financeageddon.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Just in! The Moscow Ballet has confirmed that it would be performing during Donald Trump's January 20 Inauguration! This information was confirmed by WikiLeaks.

‘An apple a day will only keep the doctor away if you eat it,’ said Doctor Zaffa. ‘If you administer it anally then you’re going to need to see a doctor immediately.’

New York, NY - (satireworld.com)

Two hundredweight of Botox impounded at a Saudi camel beauty pageant was redirected to Clinton Foundation orifices this morning ahead of its upcoming annual Valentines Day bash.

What academia needs is to throw in some pillow talk after. Time to relax, light a cigarette, and sort through things. Maybe towel off some. Promise to text each other later.

Is Nigel Farage's call for second EU referendum part of cunning plan to save Brexit from Tory incompetence? Top journalist claims that by reversing decision to leave EU, Farage plans to start whole process afresh, on his terms! Former UKIP leader also allegedly behind collapse of old party to clear way for new hard line pro leave party to fight third referendum!

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) - Sources close to the Donald Trump presidential transition team have secretly  told The Adobo Chronicles that comedian and television host Steve Harvey is being groomed to be the next U.S. ambassador to the Philippines. Harvey, who is scheduled to be in Manila this month to host the…

TOPEKA, Kansas (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - The Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church may be known as a hate group, indulging in high-profile pickets of gay and lesbian events and military funerals, but it also prides itself with its social and environmental advocacy. Buried in its controversial planned picket of funerals of the victims of…