LSU football fans who bought tickets to the canceled home opener against McNeese State University will be able to get refunds in Mike the Tiger’s habitat, according to Athletic Director Joe Alleva.

With the news that Universities are now accepting more new students than ever, even some of the slightly dim ones have a chance to be weighed down by a huge debt in exchange for a certificate they will likely never use.

Hajiland, Syria – (satireworld.com)

The Pentagon released photos today of a top-secret raid against ISIS forces that was successful in spite of the President’s ‘no boots on the ground’ promise, The US Army raid helped win the release of over 150 ISIS sex slaves who were held against their will for over three months.

Increasingly frustrated with congress' inaction on his initiatives, President Trump ordered the National Guard to begin work on an eight-story cheeseburger.

Amanda Flerd, a 12 year old middle school student from Richmond, Virginia, recently gave a current events speech to her class, informing them of the latest political tensions in America while offering lucid analysis on its current state of affairs.

For years conspiracy theories have circulated that any drinker could easily drink as many pints of beer as they liked with no repercussions if it wasn’t for a mystical dodgy eighth pint that was loaded with evil intent. It is that pint that results in hangovers and stomach problems the next day.

TANGERANG CITY, Indonesia (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - It's genetic. It's acquired. It's a punishment from God. It's the environment. We've heard so many theories before about what causes homosexuality, but none as jaw-dropping as this: instant noodles. The mayor of the city of Tangerang in Indonesia says that the rise in homosexuality in his country…

Celery juice, as Instagrammers know, is full of miraculous surprises. I, for one, was surprised at how many solids I had while on my month-long green juice fast.

A group of Donald Trump voters screwed up a vote on where to go for lunch yesterday, the second election in a row they have helped mess up over the past six months, coworkers at NextWave Industrial Blinds in Darby, Pennsylvania say.

Pushing back against "PC thugs", President Trump vowed today that he would work to restore the rights of workers to harass one another in the workplace.

Desperate to knock Donald Trump from his front-runner position, several Republican presidential hopefuls are reportedly teaming up in the form of an enormous combining robot, by which they plan to attack the real estate mogul.

Insurance. Most people have it- health insurance, car insurance, home insurance, renter’s insurance, life insurance but sometimes despite famous people being just like us sometimes they need insurance for something us normies would ever consider.

WASHINGTON, D.C, (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - The vetting process for foreign nationals wishing to enter the U.S. has just become more stringent, thanks to Donald Trump. Yahoo News is reporting that the U.S. Department of State is now requiring applicants for tourist or immigrant visas to submit a list of their current and…

This very special bonobo ape lives in Des Moines, Iowa under the watchful care of scientists with the Great Ape Trust, where he spends his days making fires, communicating through computerized pictograms, and, now and again, snacking on choice dumps.

Since December, when I published “Eleven Reasons Why Donald Trump Is Not Adolf Hitler,” lots of things have happened, prompting more people to draw more comparisons between the Republican presidential nominee and the fascist leader of Nazi Germany. That’s why I’m offering these additional 11 glaring differences between the two men to illustrate why this is still not a fair comparison.

Commenting that, "It was just time," Paul family spokesperson Robin Paul thanked her son for the 34 years he's spent as a son, father, husband and sibling to her and her husband Charles, his brother C.J., his wife Jada and their two children.

A fuzzy funny kitty has pounced ahead of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, the latest presidential polls show. Yes he did. Didn't he? Yes he did! That fuzzy funny kitty.

She wonders why people don’t trust her. If she wants to start gaining the trust of the American people, she needs to end all the cover-ups and come clean.

Discordianism is the "religion of chaos, of causing maximum cognitive confusion in order to spark creative thinking outside the box of dogma" (or "Box of Rain" to Deadheads).

A local man has confirmed to anyone who will listen that Gene Wilder, who passed away on Monday, has always been his favorite actor.