Dingleberry Falls, CT - (satireworld.com)
Family members, who have all desired to remain anonymous, have admitted that they are considering having Rosie O’Donnell fixed. “Rosie has been peeing on the furniture and gnawing on table legs and snapping at people, ” admitted one relative. “She also feels the need to bend herself into weird positions and lick her crotch in front of company. We just need to try to calm her down and get her to stop humping everyone’s legs… and the vet suggested that maybe cutting off her balls might help decrease her aggression.”
"Recent analysis shows that Mrs. Conway's face is in fact disintegrating at an accelerated pace, and will likely collapse completely by the year 2020 if significant efforts are not made to slow the process," remarked Dr. Norman Squeers of the Global Science Institute.
MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Mitt Romney called Donald J. Trump “a phony” and “a fraud” in a speech on Thursday in which he urged Republicans to rally around one of Mr. Trump’s presidential rivals. Reacting to the comments, Trump called Romney a loser. It was the first truthful and accurate statement ever made…
Ms. Dolezal, despite being rejected by the conservative community, has found a warm place of exceptance in another.
TORONTO, Canada (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Prime Minister Justin Trudeau today announced that the Canadian government will soon build a wall along the U.S.-Canada border to keep out Americans expected to flee once Donald Trump is elected president of the United States. Today's announcement is a dose of Trump's own medicine. When he launched…
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) - With less than two weeks remaining in its online poll on who readers think should be included in the 2017 100 most influential persons in the world, TIME Magazine has launched an offensive to destroy Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte's No. 1 spot. Duterte leads in…
The group – which consisted of 23 men, women and children – took one look at the town and decided that they’d rather chance it back in their war-torn country.
Fighting back against Pentagon plans to slim the nation's defense budget, a group of congressmen led by Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla., are warning the Obama Administration against scrapping the Army's fleet of battle zeppelins.
I previously wrote an article that was literally about nothing, Now I have something to say.
‘I’ve listened to what the Labour Party members have to say and it’s clear they want Jeremy Corbyn as their leader. That is why I’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty and legally changed my name to Jeremy Corbyn,’ said Jeremy Corbyn [Owen Smith].
Dan Lipskey won another four years as the Governor of Mississippi despite spending Election Day shooting up a Whole Foods in Gulfport Tuesday.
The ‘KICK ME’ sign remained on Corbyn’s back for a full hour, during which time a confused Corbyn endured several kicks up the arse from a select group of Labour MPs.
Atlanta, Georgia
Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said on Friday that her Republican opponent Brian Kemp would be officially declared the victor in the race, but she said her announcement was not a concession from her because that would acknowledge ‘ out-right election theft as being right.’
Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said on Friday that her Republican opponent Brian Kemp would be officially declared the victor in the race, but she said her announcement was not a concession from her because that would acknowledge ‘ out-right election theft as being right.’
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