Check Please!
Farage, who was staying overnight in a hotel after a beautiful and poignant speech to the EU, was pictured inserting a cigar up his own back passage. It’s believed the Leave figurehead was trying to blow smoke up his own ass.

Nat New Jersey – (
Miley Cyrus fans rejoice!
Hannah Montana’s recent lawsuit against Hannah Dakota (Fanning) has been settled in a most congenial and civilized way…A cat fight outside one of Hollywood’s trendiest nightclubs where either one of them cannot even venture into legally!
First, I know it’s probably too late to warn the world, but I couldn’t stand by silently after massive critical consensus lured me into watching this piece of shit of a movie.
Is the mysterious codex of the Fifteenth Century Voynich Manuscript just gibberish? New TV series claims document, at best, semi-pornographic doodlings of bored medieval student. Further alleges that ancient Mayan art produced under influence of powerful hallucinogens rather than representing alien visitors.
Kin ya stomach this stuff, folks? I donno, it ain't easy. Yet we hadda listen ta all his BS for a year, and now it's time for Donald's payoff. Right?
As of ____PM on Thursday _____ county prosecutor ______ had not yet brought charges for Officer ______
Boston, MA – (

A Golden Retriever,as a “matter of Principle” was forced to file a law suit in Federal court after a BOA branch canceled their policy of handing out doggy treats during transactions at their drive thru window.
Giving a middle finger to critics who have been saying for years that she’s been rendered virtually unrecognizable after successive cosmetic surgeries, “Bridget Jones” star Renee Zellweger has drastically changed her looks … again!
Washington DC – (

The Democratic National Committee (DNC) chaired by Tom Perez has sent out a Request for Proposals (RFP) to all 50 states to bid on constructing a suitable monument to the 44th POTUS, Barack Obama. The selected monument must be “shovel ready!” This measure was necessary because the federal government has refused to add Mr. Obama to Mount Rushmore located in South Dakota.
Hissing that the camera lights were burning his eyes, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) appeared with Democratic rival Hillary Clinton on Monday to announce the end of his presidential ambitions and plead for party unity.

Cairo, IL – (
Cairo police were tagged as racist and quick-on-the-gun after a hastily formed riot squad descended upon a gathering of Congresswoman Maxine Waters supporters assembling in a local park.
Pressing the most aggressive campaign against federal regulation in a generation, President Trump is working swiftly to eliminate rules that restrict everything from risky business practices on Wall Street to incest and environmental pollution.
"His own legs are probably insured for $30 million a piece, he's right to take no chances." Jessie Krufts, Sport Lawyer
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Four years after it officially declared the taking of selfies a mental disorder, the American Psychiatric Asssociation (APA) now admits it used the wrong terminology to describe the disease. It named the disorder, ‘selfitis.’ Since then, the world has acknowledged and experienced the existence of sefitis. Scientific studies,…
"I'm starting a campaign to get Vine videos increased in length from 6 seconds to 7 seconds each. JOIN ME!" Jimmy Popper, Campaigner
A group of Democratic lawmakers paid a surprise un-authorized visit to a immigrant detention facility in New Jersey on Father’s Day to speak with asylum-seekers who have been separated from their families under a new Trump administration policy.
“We did not realize that so many American dog breeds strongly resemble the cute cartoonish monsters with which we populated the Pokemon Go virtual world,” said Nintendo Vice President Hitaro Arakida.
"Hmm. Is there a doggie wine list at the restaurant? Or do they always have water but they can choose the bowl?" Fred Flunkee, Dogger
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced the move yesterday, acting on the wishes of President Donald Trump.

Paris, France – (SatireWorld)
French politicians recently approved a measure that would ban massive buttocks smelling ceremonies usually held on Friday afternoons in various public parts of the French capitol. According to well placed sources, the event was discouraged at first when children as young as five-year's old were noticed walking among the participants. Some injuries were reported and prompted the speedy crackdown. (no pun intended)Repeated warning were ignored and finally, with a 100% approving vote, the measure was brought up in a binding resolution, than passed as French law.

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