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‘We shamefully at on our hands during the Rachel Dolezal controversy, ‘ said a spokesman for the popular sing and dance troupe, ‘but now another of our brothers is being victimised for not being truly black, or even blackish, so we have to stand up and be counted ... in, one, two three.. oh, de mixed up races sing dis song, doo dah..’
Iowa decides to highlight ‘true nature of American politics’ by penning presidential candidates. This year’s crop of Presidential weeds… er… candidates made their appearance this week at the traditional starting showcase for the presidential primaries, the Iowa State Fair. But this time, the circus was presented in stock pens, “as it should be."
"That should be an Olympic sport, done by people in jet packs obviously." Jimmy Popper, PE Teacher
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are ending their 13-day marriage, agents for each of the Hollywood stars announced today.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Pfizer, the same drug manufacturing company that distributes viagra, the erectile dysfunction pill for men, has announced that it is now recruiting participants for Phase 3 clinical trials on a new investigative drug that could reverse homosexuality. The New York-based company told reporters that it has successfully completed…
LAS VEGAS (The Barbed Wire) - After a town hall meeting here this week, reporters again tried to get Hillary Clinton to come clean over her continuously unraveling email scandal. Revelations keep mounting that the former first lady broke the law and tried to deceive the public about her dealings as Secretary of State.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Republican National Committee (RNC) updated its platform to make it clear Republicans would never stop denying climate change until "credible evidence" was presented. The platform also clearly declared "the extinction of humanity" as being the only evidence Republicans would find to be genuine.
"I don't get Samsung phone flavoured water, but I totally get cheesy feet flavoured water. Mmmmhhh...." Kent Rugby, Flavoured Water Executive
‘He holidayed on the Death Star, I let him destroy a planet’, sobbed Lord Vader. ‘He even asked if I could lend it him to deal with a ‘pesky’ nation he was bothered about. I’ll vote Tory next time – they never forget a friendly tyrant.’
The Donald, likely an insult comic in another life, sits like a King. Paul Lewis, a British journalist at The Guardian best known for his award-winning investigation into the demise of Hard Rock Café t-shirts, has just returned from traveling across the USA with Donald Trump. Wowing audiences and shrugging off numerous death threats...
The cheeky smile on a local man from Layer Under Haye, who died last year, has finally been explained after his name was found on the Ashley Madison database.
BRUSSELS, Belgium (The Adobo Chronicles®) - As Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump laid out details of his immigration policy, the European Union (EU) adopted a resolution that, in effect, negates Trump's ill intentions against the estimated 11 Million undocumented immigrants now living in the U.S. Trump's immigration policy includes building a wall along the southern border…
Come to think of it... MILFORD, Connecticut--Subway Vice President of Marketing Jeremy Conway admitted today that there were several statements made by former spokesman Jared Fogle during his initial audition that probably should have raised red flags and possibly affected the company's decision to hire him. "(Fogle's) movements when he held the sub was very…
Police departments are now exploring the effect of self-love to prevent officers from acting out revenge fantasies on the public.
SEVASTOPOL, CRIMEA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Russian Television (RT) announced President Vladimir Putin had discovered the ancient lost city of Atlantis only 60 kilometers away from the Black Sea port city of Sevastopol. Putin was engaged in a routine provocative visit to the disputed territory of Crimea when he decided to use his master explorer skills to find Atlantis.
Let me go ahead and say what most people have figured out with their own good sense by now: College Greeks are gross. They’re nasty-ass, dirty people.
An avid subscriber to numerous conspiracy theories is challenging the government’s claim, as stated in countless highway signs across the country, that right lanes actually end.
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of certain words in the light of their usage deviating from international variations. A spokesman added that the OED is ‘determined to embrace modern word usage, like totally’.
Living life as mosquito bait I love summer. And guess who else adores these balmy August days? The local mosquito population! When I step outside, if there’s a mosquito within miles, it will start heading in my direction — as will all of its brothers and sisters — eagerly anticipating a delicious snack.

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