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The head of the North Western Railway, Sir Topham Hatt, is to step down after he wildly underestimated its budget last year and will be replaced by Commissioner for Transport for London, Sir Peter Hendy.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson announced today he will keep his promise and marry a horse on September 18th of this year. TNA reported on May 4th that Carson had promised to marry a horse if the Supreme Court made gay marriage legal across the country, which it did yesterday.
'I’m currently working with festival co-ordinators to see how we can stretch out a performance of The Lady in Red over two days.’
ALEC’s bold new constitution aims to salve the GOP sadz. The American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC, a Koch subsidiary), sent out an emergency e-mail to their employees who currently hold elected office, offering a quick and lasting solution to the defeats that have plagued the conservative agenda over the past few weeks.
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - When Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal officially launched his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination in the 2016 elections, he donned a "white face" make-up to mimic that of a clown. Jindal is the 13th Republican to announce a presidential bid. The governor was made up as a clown…
Twin Falls, ID –  “We see this far too often.  A lovely family having a picnic at the park and, wham, there is a large bear to scare them off.  These bears may sit down and eat the entire picnic or even eat the family.” 
WASHINGTON -- In what’s being called a historic oversight, the U.S. Supreme Court has admitted that while it has ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, it has forgotten to rule in favor of same-sex divorce.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles ® ) - The mainstream media have a tendency to whitewash news events that happen in The White House. But not us.  We report the news exactly the way it happened. When Obama was heckled during an LGBT event at The White House by a transgender Latina woman who admits being…
Pranksters and protesters around the world are waiting with bated breath for a decision by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) on whether or not glitter-bombing will become an official Olympic sport. But government officials around the world aren't exactly beaming with excitement, mostly because of the clean-up costs.
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA (The Nil Admirari): The National Rifle Association (NRA) announced today it had a press release ready and waiting for the next mass shooting in the United States. NRA Executive Vice President and CEO Wayne LaPierre stated such preparedness was essential to highlight why victims of gun violence were negligent for not arming themselves.
MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles ®) - Real Estate mogul and owner of the Miss Universe Pageant Donald Trump announced last week he is running for president of the United States.  In his  kick-off speech, he said that if elected, he will build a "great wall" on the border and make Mexico pay for it because Mexico is…
‘If you have to swallow a frog, don’t stare at it too long,’ Mark Twain says of 2016 vote. GATES OF PURGATORY – In an exclusive interview broadcast yesterday via GoogleSeance™ satellite, iconic American author Mark Twain sounded off about the upcoming presidential election. “I have a higher and grander standard than George Washington..."
Mr Blair concluded that it was probably best to leave things well alone for the time being.
WASHINGTON, D.C.--As more Americans discover the extent of their long-repressed offendedness by anything associated with the Confederate flag, the Obama administration today announced that the current U.S. flag would undergo a makeover to remove any symbols that might lead Americans to associate it with the Stars and Bars. "The most obvious aspects we will have…
Silver Spring, MD – The average individual walking around eating street vendor food and smoking Winston cowboy killers probably hasn’t thought much about it.  If you step back for just a moment, though, and say the word Riboflavin, you realize just how fun it is to say.  It rolls off the tongue.  It makes you feel good.  Go ahead, say it ten times.  You will start to dissect syllables and parts of the word that are fun by themselves.  To say the word Riboflavin all at one time and in its fully glory is darned close to being more fun than anyone should really be having.
Ignorance of a subject doesn't stop Pope Francis from weighing in. Next encyclical: Kinky sex tips for Catholic couples...WorldsWisestOwl.com
The future of advertising has changed forever. After WPP and Snapchat launched Truffle Pig earlier this week, Omnicom and Facebook answered back with a new digital content agency of their own. The new agency, called Camel Toe, was announced yesterday at Cannes Lions and was the main topic of discussion throughout the day.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Fox News talking head Bill O'Reilly claimed he had "three to five black friends" so everyone should "shut their trap," because he had the credentials to talk about race relations in America. O'Reilly needed two days of constant public pressure to recall how many black friends he had after political pundit Kirsten Powers asked him that very question on "The O'Reilly Factor."
Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America, a former colony of Great Britain, won a quiz about French Presidents in October 2014, a White House spokesmom admitted last night.
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

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