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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Donald Trump today officially declared that he is running for president of the United States, vowing to "make this country great again." What a great campaign motto. But there is one problem.  Trump is now being accused by former Philippines First Lady Imelda Romualdez Marcos of plagiarizing her late husband,…
The rapidly increasing number of Republicans running for president is dramatically eroding the availability of American billionaires and their precious largess, a recent study suggests.
It’s a fee that students never pay to get a credit they never see, just so a governor no one likes can keep a promise to a guy no one elected.
The student will be forced to walked naked through the streets of Draycott back to her home, followed by the entire Derby County football team chanting, ‘Shame, shame, shame!’
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.  And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
I was really freaked out when I turned on my phone and found this convoluted narrative mess crawling across my screen.
HOLLYWOOD, California  (The Adobo Chronicles) - Sony Pictures has just announced that Cameron Crowe has been chosen to direct a new film about the white woman who has been posing as African American.  The film is titled "Spokane," named after the city in which Rachel Dolezal headed the local NAACP chapter. Crowe, who has come under…
SPOKANE (The Barbed Wire) - Ethnically confused NAACP chapter president Rachel Dolezal resigned her position today amid the controversy over her not knowing which race she belongs to. Coincidentally, two other organizations revealed today that they have each received applications for positions of authority from someone with a similar name.
BEJING (TheSkunk.org) — The recent hacking by China into a US government employee database has allowed Chinese officials to utilize stolen credit card information to make miscellaneous purchases of merchandise, running up a tab well into the tens of millions of dollars.
RALEIGH, N.C. (TheSkunk.org) – The North Carolina legislature passed a bill today allowing public employees to deny services to Jews. The “Freedom to Ignore Jews Act” goes into effect immediately, and it prevents civil servants from facing prosecution for refusing to do anything for Jewish people.
With rape rates continuing to rise and wait times for abortions stretching well over 12 months in many states, record baby supplies are making for an unprecedented adopters' market in the US.
SPOKANE, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) -The alleged white woman who has  been posing as an African American today revealed that she was also part Native American and part Hawaiian. For nearly a decade, Rachel Dolezal, who heads the NAACP chapter in Spokane, Washington, has claimed to be African American. However, her parents, who appeared on…
For the first time in seven months, the comet lander Philae has sent a message to the European Space Agency, and although officials are delighted to finally get some news, they say that Philae’s stories don’t add up.
The woman who's toplessness rocked a mountain range in Malaysia is being approached by The Sun to get them out again on page three, only months after page three was set to be axed and only days after she caused an earthquake in Malaysia.
One Suit, Two Suit, Red Suit, Blue Suit By Dr. Zeus One pantsuit Two pantsuit Red pantsuit Blue pantsuit Black pantsuit Blue pantsuit Old pantsuit New pantsuit This one has a little stain This one will repel the rain Say! What a lot of Pantsuits there are. Yes, some are red and some are blue…
The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire experiences its second stabbing incident by a pupil in as many years, Ministers have proposed that staff be replaced with un-unionised piñatas. NASUWT leader Chris Keates referred to it as a ‘crude cost-cutting measure’, although more accurately it is a measure of cutting up teachers crudely. An Education spokeswoman countered: ‘Why should we invest years of graduate and post-graduate training i
A group of scientists from the UK and Canada have disclosed that they have indisputably proved that Bob is not, in fact, your uncle, leading to widespread existential crises in the Commonwealth. "We truly wish it were otherwise," said Niles Anderson, of the University of Toronto. "Because now it the world seems a lot more difficult as a result. Bob made everything much easier, in principle at least."

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