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FLORIDA (The Barbed Wire) - While most gays are now living a blissful, carefree life since the Supreme Court granted them the right to marry, some people are just never satisfied. This is a true but tragic story and will shake your faith in humanity to the core.
Britons to be Banned from Sniffing Own Farts under new Legislation Cracking Down on Legal Highs. Warnings From Experts that Low Quality Imported Farts Could be Responsible for Serious Illnesses and even Deaths Among Fart Sniffing Clubbers.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, former Vice President Dick Cheney voiced his considerable displeasure with the nuclear agreement reached between the Obama administration and Iran. Cheney also announced his intention to travel to Iran and shoot Ayatollah Ali Khamenei - Supreme Leader of Iran - in the face with birdshot.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Fake noodles. Fake eggs. Fake beef. Recent media reports show that some Chinese companies have been manufacturing fake food using both organic and inorganic ingredients. These fake food have yet to find their way to America (or have they, already?) Well, fake chicken from China may soon hit the…
A Camden-based graphics designer is to be the first person to travel around the world by unicycle. Asked if he was following in the footsteps of Columbus, Codey Grey said, 'He's so mainstream. You've probably never even heard of my favourite explorers.'
Portraying Atticus Finch as a racist in her new book, Harper Lee stirs controversy. “Ariana Grande molesting donuts, Atticus Finch a Ku Klux Klan pinup, it’s been a crazy few days for America,” said Noam Chomsky, the renowned linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political commentator, social justice activist and Dancing with the Stars finalist.
Planned Parenthood is issuing a nationwide recall of all parts purchased in the last ten years, admitting that they pose a serious public relations threat.
Portland, ME –  Malcom Werner and his wife Pippy came to an agreement about 6 months ago.  Malcom would stay home with their 3 kids and Pippy would be the breadwinner of the family with the accounting work she does.
Twin fences purportedly intended to protect the nation's borders with Canada and Mexico appear to be swinging inward and upward in a manner that has many residents of the nation's Southern and Midwestern states worried.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Congressional Republicans announced today that despite a nuclear agreement between President Obama and Iran they were still very optimistic about a war with the Iranians. Republicans pointed to the extremists in Iran and to themselves as being the ultimate reason why peace would never be successfully negotiated between the two powers.
Jacob Zuma will spend $5m to build a brothel facility at his presidential home in the Nkandla compound it was announced last night.
IRAQ & SYRIA (The Nil Admirari) - The Islamic State announced today its long-term goal was to be more deadly to Americans than armed Americans. The terrorist group released its statement after getting its hands on statistics showing tens of thousands more Americans have been killed by other Americans with guns than by all Islamic terrorist attacks and all wars combined since September 10th, 2001.
SAN ANTONIO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - If you've ever been stopped at a sobriety checkpoint, you know what the police officer will have you do to test if you've been driving under the influence. Step out of your car, point to your nose, walk a straight line, recite the alphabet backwards and so on.…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The Department of Defense (DoD) announced today Operation Loon Star was far from being completed in Texas and would definitely not be finished prior to the start of Operation Jade Helm 15 on Wednesday. Operation Loon Star was originally reported on by TNA on May 13th, and is a military operation that began on May 15th with the objective of addressing a mental health epidemic in Texas.
"Try a bit of Elvis Presley next time, I used to scream at him when I was their age." Fred Flunkee, Hoola Hooper
Here are the stickier points and stipulations of the EU-Greek deal, otherwise known as the Euro Summit Statement on Greece.
Much ado about nothing has been made concerning the less-than-shocking revelation that “the bastard prince,” Gov. Bobby Jindal, runs the state of Louisiana by his mobile phone. In a prepared statement, Jindal’s office emphatically repudiated any suggestion that Siri was a counselor in the absent chief’s decision-making process.
LSU’s legendary sports play-by-play broadcaster is retiring in the spring, and to commemorate his last LSU football season, Jim Hawthorne plans to call attention throughout the season to arguably the most notable football call of his 35-year career as the Voice of the Tigers.
Jeremy, Sunny, and Evan Rabalais explain why women are almost universally wrong in their assessment of Forrest Gump's girlfriend.

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