TLC's latest reality television series, "Tipsy Tyler", garnered 2.5 million viewers for its debut last night.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-UT-03) denounced Planned Parenthood President Cecile Richards' "uncooperative attitude" during the Planned Parenthood hearing earlier today. Chaffetz and his male Republican peers were very critical of Richards for denying that abortion led to an "angry, raging vagina" that killed the stork created by God to deliver the child to its parents.

Hipsters everywhere are refusing to get excited about the discovery of water on Mars until they know whether it is San Pellegrino or not.

The head of the Louisiana Republican Party is actively urging Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell to resign from his job as majority leader of the U.S. Senate.

There needs to be crap on TV. If all of it were good, we wouldn’t appreciate most of it, or we’d overappreciate all of it.

CARY, Wyoming--Nancy Maines, a 24 year-old project manager, is apparently experiencing a heavier than normal menstrual cycle this month, her colleague Josh Simon reports.  Maines recently filed a grievance with human resources accusing Simon and his supervisor Danny Kurtz of making sexist remarks. "Nancy's definitely on the rag," Simon claims, "Or at least PMS-ing like…

iOS does not play by the rules...

I think the GOP is self-harming again, which may require an inpatient hospitalization. When one self-harms, it initially provides feelings of relief, but ultimately it’s going to leave a mark. Donald Trump is that mark. He represents their anger, primarily with themselves. He is their collective cry for help. The Donald is their way of…

NASA has admitted that it spent billions of dollars fabricating images of salt deposits on the planet Mars purely to bump ticket sales for Ridley Scott's ‘The Martian’, though it has drawn a blank in fabricating acting talent for its star, Matt Damon.

Republican leaders have many concerns about the Pope’s place of origin, such as: Do Argentinean bears really do it in the woods? WASHINGTON, DC – Like the composition of Howdy Doody’s olfactory organ and the tendency of our ursine brethren to park among the bark, the Pope’s religious affiliations have been historically predictable ...

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Congressional Teabagger Caucus warned Americans it would punish the poor, sick, elderly, veterans, starving children, and many other groups if Democrats and President Obama did not allow teabaggers to punish women by defunding Planned Parenthood. The right-wing extremist faction of the Republican Party - the self-proclaimed "party of fiscal responsibility" - assured all Americans it would disrupt benefits to the most vulnerable members of American society, and actually cost taxpayers more money by shutting down the government in less than two days...

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - How the world (universe) turns! News satire sites are often accused of perpetuating hoaxes that many gullible netizens are quick to believe or pass on as fact. Today, the National Association of Satire Writers (NASW) discovered that today's NASA announcement about the discovery of flowing water on Mars was a…

U.S. space agency NASA has discovered evidence of water on Mars, offering the surest sign yet that drinkers who eventually live on the red planet might be able to enjoy life there.

Ahmed Mohamed, the Texas youth who was suspended for bringing to class a homemade clock said to resemble a bomb, has now constructed a “fully automatic” pencil sharpener.

In a recent poll carried out by the University of Creative Studies, presidential hopeful Ben Carson polled strongly among hardline bigots.

"The aggressive cock sure always beat the passive do gooders. Unless you are Donny and Marie." Jessie Krufts, Pacifist

The ESA attempts to cover up first contact with alien life

Watch out for the jagged Siroccos on the bottom!

A drone flying over the Basingstoke area has captured 'spine-tingling' and 'disturbing' images of a former X-Factor contestant, who had been personally built by Simon Cowell out of blonde highlights and his old Versace suits but was subsequently abandoned when a similar contestant on a rival show had 'gone nuclear' smashing up a famous London eaterie.

HADES, Nebraska--Calling it an "incredible find," Satan today described the elation he felt when he first inspected his latest acquisition, the soul of Texas Senator Ted Cruz. "Absolutely mint condition," the Prince of Darkness gushed, "I knew it hadn't seen much use, but I never dreamed it had never even been taken out of the…