My friend thinks Democrats are the main racists in today’s society as well as in the past. So liberals are secretly the alt-right, tiki-torch wielding hate mongers? Too bad that laundromat was closed on may way to Charlottesville. [Sheet out-of-luck joke removed by the editor.] What fun house mirror are you snorting PCP off of? Your trip down racism…
by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything ... Read moreRipping the Headlines Today, 11/20/18Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.
Mick Jagger Announces ‘All The Girls I’ve Slept With’ US Tour Dates
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President Trump took to Twitter today to unveil the second half of a top-10 list of who he considers the country's most boring presidents. The list concludes as follows:
Atlanta, Georgia
Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said on Friday that her Republican opponent Brian Kemp would be officially declared the victor in the race, but she said her announcement was not a concession from her because that would acknowledge ‘ out-right election theft as being right.’
Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said on Friday that her Republican opponent Brian Kemp would be officially declared the victor in the race, but she said her announcement was not a concession from her because that would acknowledge ‘ out-right election theft as being right.’
(Reprinted from the Mayberry Gazette) Mayberry, North Carolina – (SatireWorld.com)
It was revealed today that Opie Taylor, raised as the son of former Mayberry Sheriff, is actually the love child of former deputy Barney Fife and Andy’s late wife. Aunt Bee, Andy’s aunt, revealed the information on her death bed, saying “I can’t go to my sweet Jesus with this lie untold. Folks just gotta know and I’ve been itching nigh on fifty years to tell this to somebody.
It was revealed today that Opie Taylor, raised as the son of former Mayberry Sheriff, is actually the love child of former deputy Barney Fife and Andy’s late wife. Aunt Bee, Andy’s aunt, revealed the information on her death bed, saying “I can’t go to my sweet Jesus with this lie untold. Folks just gotta know and I’ve been itching nigh on fifty years to tell this to somebody.
Appearing on Good Morning America today to promote his new film Instant Family, Mark Wahlberg said the movie, "Basically sucks."
Washington DC- (satireworld.com)
Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.
Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.
Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com)
Ahead by more than 600,000,000 votes days after Georgia’s gubernatorial election, Republican Brian Kemp pushed for Democrat Stacey Abrams to finally concede Saturday as civil rights groups urged her to stay in the fight even though she’s losing by more than 6 million votes.
Ahead by more than 600,000,000 votes days after Georgia’s gubernatorial election, Republican Brian Kemp pushed for Democrat Stacey Abrams to finally concede Saturday as civil rights groups urged her to stay in the fight even though she’s losing by more than 6 million votes.
Walnutport, PA – Political newcomer and long-shot candidate for Pennsylvania’s 7th congressional district, Rona De Maritius (D-PA), on Tuesday, announced plans to introduce a controversial piece of legislation in the House, should she emerges victorious in next week’s midterm election.…Read more Long-Shot Candidate Proposes Four Ball Legislation to Counter Unfair Three Strikes Law ›
I plan to do great work today. Just as soon as I...check Instagram to see if that guy posted more dumb pictures of that thing he thinks is cool.
White House Press Officer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, has sensationally claimed that under-fire CNN hack, Jim Acosta, launched a frenzied sex attack on a young female intern after she tried to wrest the microphone from the newsman’s grasp during Wednesday night’s fraught press conference at The White House. Speaking to Breitbart News, Sanders said: “As soon...
Washington, DC—Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is currently recovering from three broken ribs at George Washington University Hospital, but exactly how she sustained those injuries remains in question. Initially Justice Ginsburg stated she, “Fell down on the job”, literally, but rumors began circulating how she was only attempting to make a faulty workman’s comp claim. Later, while on copious…
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