America's National Rifle Association has identified a lack of guns in Syria as the reason for the high number of deaths from shootings there. A spokesman said: 'That mass shooting at a military checkpoint would never have happened if someone had already shot the people who did it.'

California drought, paired with discovery of water on Mars, forces NASA reappraisal. The day after NASA announced they had found water on Mars, the agency revised its list of places in the universe with the least amount of water. California, along with the Sahara desert in North Africa, are now above Mars on the list.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Some 300,000 people are expected to descend upon Castro Street in San Francisco's gay district on Sunday for the annual Castro Street Fair. This year, organizers promised there will be more booths and booze, and dozens of commercial vendors selling non-gay merchandise. The all-day festivities will commence with…

England's rugby team are now so bad that they have started to apologise for their performance before the last game has been played, that's according to apologies seen by this newspaper last night.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the Republican presidential campaign of former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush announced Jeb would wear a shock collar "to prevent him from speaking, which is not in his best interest if he wants to win the White House." The transition to a "nonverbal campaign" followed a rising slew of insensitive, politically tone deaf comments that showed Jeb to be completely out of touch with reality, and the majority of the American people.

Tim Cook encounters some problems installing iOS 8

Howay pet, ya deed

Today, Democratic candidate and self-proclaimed socialist Bernie Sanders was “feeling the bern” of poor pizza slice distribution. Sanders railed against the “top, elite pizza eaters running around with their third slice” and lamented the “tiny little, sad baby slices” of pizza that many in the...

ROWAN COUNTY, KY (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - After The Vatican's official clarification that Pope Francis' meeting with Kim Davis was not a "private audience" as the Rowan County clerk claimed, Liberty Counsel (Davis' attorneys) went on a damage-control mode. Following documented media reports that the only private audience the Pope gave was with his long-time Argentinian…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admiari) - In the wake of yet another senseless mass shooting in America, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced its presidential candidates had pledged to make every future campaign event - including debates - a "mandatory gun zone" to show their support for a gross misreading of the Second Amendment. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus denied Republican candidates were forced to choose whether to support the mandatory gun zone edict or drop out of the race, and declared candidates were required to give a gun to any supporter that showed up at a campaign event...

This month, everyone gets a costume idea based on this year’s big events, or — in the case of the political figures — annoying yet easily forgettable also-rans.

Washington – After yet another senseless act of violence left 10 people dead and many more injured in the sleepy town of Roseburg, President Obama was hyper critical of both political parties, Presidential hopefuls, and potential killers everywhere.

In response to the hardships many refugee men face in growing and maintaining full beards, a Seattle-based organization is encouraging hipsters in the city to donate their facial hair.

Following the invention of the smart watch, technology companies follow up with the smart ring

 

Jeremy Corbyn has stated his defence policy, in the event that he is Prime Minister at the outbreak of a World War, will be to engage the enemy in interpretive dance. ‘We have a strong history of providing strong dancers, as evidenced by Strictly Come Dancing, and I feel that we could defeat any enemy hands down,’ he stated.

“Sicario” and “The Martian” – Two film reviews by Gary Chew Baseball season is just ending, but I’ve got a doubleheader on my hands here. Movie number one … Sicario What it is about films set on either side of our southern border that often makes them worth your time? How about drugs, the clash...

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - In a move that surprised the journalism industry, The Washington Post today converted from a respected mainstream newspaper to a supermarket tabloid, as a way of coping with declining subscriptions and advertising revenue. The Post now puts itself in direct competition with the popular tabloid National Enquirer, known for gossip columns, sensationalized…

To increase the chances of the outgoing Speaker landing on their staff roster, lobbying groups are competing in the luxury hankie arena for the day Boehner hits the ground sobbing.