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AUSTIN, TEXAS (The Nil Admirari) - A new Texas school textbook titled "Remembering the Great Confederacy" analyzes Robert E. Lee's presidency and the South's freeing of the slaves following the Civil War. The Texas Board of Education has announced the book will be used in every district in the state beginning this coming school year.
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  He considers himself a tanned, white boy from Louisiana. Governor and GOP presidential candidate, Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, 44, has become famous for a self portrait that hangs in the Louisiana state capitol -  a visibly Caucasian chief executive. In a limited-edition campaign t-shirt for his 2016 presidential bid, he…
An extra 52 tourists visited for the Women's Football World Cup and their unexpected appetite for the fibrous drupe has led to a crisis, with 24 people who ‘swear by coconut water’ saying ‘Bloody hell, still no coconut water?’ and dying
The question mark face tattoo. It’s a trend that’s been growing in popularity, but until recently no one understood why.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The Nil Admirari finished negotiations with the Republican National Committee (RNC) today and will host a Republican presidential debate on September 28th, 2015 at the Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC) in Providence, Rhode Island. Unlike the Republican debates sponsored by the Mickey Mouse news outlets, the Nil Admirari debate will include every person who has registered to run for president as a Republican.
Rupert Murdoch is to stand down as leader of Fox to take up the role of Prince of Darkness vacated by Christopher Lee who passed away last month.
Actor and comedian said sitting around complaining to Larry King about kids today while waiting for the statute of limitations to kick in "was one of the most rewarding distractions of my career."
Another completely made up trash classic reviewed!
An attempt to recreate the Italian exploitation movie formula in the UK, 'Dogs on Drugs' presents the tale of a town's pet dogs getting a dose of hallucinogenic drugs and turning homicidal.
ISIS fighters living in Mosul, the largest city under control of the Islamic State, are about to get a look at Western culture, but only a peek.
As temperatures continue to rise around the country this week, the Supreme Court's June 26th ruling in favor of gay marriage already appears to be causing observable effects on the environment, many experts say.
Yesterday police raided the home of Subway spokesman Jared Fogle as part of a porn investigation, and Subway acted quickly in distancing itself from him. They immediately removed Jared's Six-Inch Delite from the menu and said in a statement: "While we understand that many people find pleasure in Jared's Six-Incher, we are removing it from our menu until more details about the investigation are released."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Congressional Republicans announced this morning they intended to increase infrastructure funding and would more than quadruple the current expenditure by the end of the month. Republicans stated the only things to be exempt from the new funding will be any infrastructure Obama uses regularly, may use in the future, or may benefit from in any way.
MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Filipinos woke up Tuesday to the news that their boxing hero is the new World Boxing Organization (WBO) welterweight champion of the world. WBO stripped Floyd Mayweather, who defeated Pacquaio during the May 2 'Fight of the Century' in Las Vegas, of the title for failure to comply with its…
A group of chickens from the Chicken Liberation Force marched in Atlanta today against alleged anti-chicken discrimination by the Black community.
After transcripts went public from a 2005 deposition that shows Bill Cosby admitting to using quaalude on women so he could have sex with them, his PR team announced today that he plans to use the publicity to promote his new movie, "Quaalude to a Kiss."
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) announced today he wanted Jesus Christ to be the official animal of the United States instead of the bald eagle. His position quickly split the Republican Party into two camps, and the topic has already started to overshadow other issues on the campaign trail like the economy, social policy, and foreign policy.
"That's probably why you never see a cat with a six pack." Kent Rugby, Motivator
While Trump seems obsessed with golden calves, he apparently has no regard for sacred cows, even the most esteemed Gipper.
My marriage to my fugly beast of a wife is ruined, all because the Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage is legal.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - “The media was consumed with stories about Americans have to be on the lookout for ISIS attacks and terror attack expected and, oooh, shark attacks, but I will bet you by the end of the weekend more Americans will have been killed by Mexicans than by ISIS or…

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