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‘Let the biggest dick win,’ said Trump. ‘Which of course would be me. I am the greatest, most classiest dick of all time.’ NEW YORK – Donald Trump announced today that he was challenging his fellow presidential candidates to a ‘Biggest Dick” contest before the next debate.
In the video, the clearly angry Corbyn asked some question or other which the prime minister answered after removing her owl shaped glasses, popular at the time.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News announced Iran had launched an attack on the Islamic State's "Muhammad Moon Base 1" believing the base was holding afterlife virgins hostage. Fox News alerted its viewers to the existence of the Islamic State's moon base on July 18th - when it warned of an imminent attack on the United States - and today criticized the Obama Administration's failure to do anything about it.
San Diego, CA –   Unless you live in California, you probably don’t know Braxton Spooner.  Local residents view him as a bit of a celebrity.  The state is a regular when it comes to severe weather and Brax (as he prefers local residents to refer to him) consistently puts them at ease with his accurate forecasts and his million dollar smile.
Outrage as local newspaper obituary describes deceased as 'utter bastard with no redeeming features', instead of 'local character and loving husband'.
Brian Haldane joins Jeremy White and Sunny Weathers to talk about Bobby Jindal's weak-ass pushups, Woody Jenkins' even weaker radio station, and Lenny Kravitz's solid piece.
Jazz great Thelonious Monk said, “A genius is the one most like himself.” Donald Trump is too busy being Donald Trump to be anything else.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump threw a kitten off of the 58th floor of Trump Tower this morning. Trump claimed he did it to show everyone he was unstoppable, and polls taken immediately following the incident showed him surging even further ahead of his Republican opponents.
MOUNTAIN VIEW, California  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - So Google is now part of Alphabet, a new holding company that will manage Google and all of its other products. Why is the new company called Alphabet? Google/Alphabet CEO Larry Page says it’s because Alphabet means a “collection of letters that represent language, one of humanity’s…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and former Texas Governor Rick Perry announced all of his paid campaign staff were going to be considered volunteers for the foreseeable future due to a severe lack of money. Perry said he did not think it was a bad sign for his presidential bid, and adopted the brand new position that money should have no place in politics.
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  From Safeway to Whole Foods to Trader Joe's, avocados have disappeared from grocery shelves, and the situation has created a severe shortage of guacamole  in California. Taquerias have been serving salsa with their corn chips, minus the guacamole. The Chipotle restaurant chain has set a limit of one…
"One simply cannot afford NOT to read this excellent guide to hiring a suitable nanny," says friend of Jenn and Ben.
In a move thought to be the first of its kind Arsenal have placed midfielder Jack Wilshere on a zero-hours contract after running out of patience with the constantly injured player. As a result Wilshere will now be paid only when he plays for the club, a move that is expected to reduce his monthly earnings from £360K to a projected £87.19.
Impress your friends, get them to help paste these ‘Trump for President’ bumper stickers everywhere! Hey Kids! Here is what you need for a little summer fun! Just print off these patriotic ‘Trump for President’ bumper stickers, snitch a pair of scissors and some glue from your mom when she isn’t looking...
"I bet $1 Donald Trump would approve of that." Kent Rugby, Political Commentator
STILLWATER, MINNESOTA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, former Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN-6) announced she had discovered dozens of phallic shaped objects in the bottom drawer of her husband Marcus's dresser. Bachmann explained her husband told her the objects were rockets to take them to Heaven once President Obama fulfilled his role to take the world into the End Times and bring about the Second Coming of Christ.
Can you speak up? I have shit in my ears. MARYVILLE, Arkansas—GOP presidential hopeful and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee visited Miss Cynthia Parker’s first grade art class at Maryville Elementary School today, where he reportedly left the entire class in awe when he displayed his own impressive artistic talent by drawing a remarkably detailed…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Just hours after  CEO Larry Page announced a new name for Google, the giant Internet search company unveiled its new logo. Google will hence be called Alphabet, according to the announcement. The new logo was presented to the media during a champagne reception at the company's Mountain View main…
As Australian authorities move to ban Vegemite from sale in some communities because it is being bought in bulk and used to make alcohol, we sent our reporter to find out what the alcohol made out of Vegemite actually taste like. And what we found out may shock many of our gentle readers.
Jacksonville, FL –  It’s no secret the world is moving faster than ever.  There is more stress and less time to sleep.  For the millions who have various sleep disorders, this is a recipe for severe anxiety and depression.

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