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Government plans to reform SAS recruitment procedure have run into a hail of criticism. It is understood that applicants will be asked to travel through the channel tunnel in under 48 hours, and buy and assemble an entire IKEA kitchen without either also buying a pack of tealights, or having a cup of tea - a suggestion which had drawn fire from human rights groups.
Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Fox News President Roger Ailes announced today his fantasy-peddling organization was "at DEFCON 3 and likely losing control" of the misinformed, hateful, and paranoid people it has created over its nearly 19 years of terror. Ailes stated Fox News feared it may have reached a saturation point where its almost exclusively Republican audience could no longer absorb any further distortions of facts or outright lies, which is exactly what Fox News has been feeding them while also telling them they are the informed people.
MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  At least 650 members of the National Association of Black Journalists  (NABJ) accepted an invitation from Prince to pay $20 apiece to visit the Paisley Park studio complex used by the entertainer outside Minneapolis Saturday night in hopes of seeing the star himself, according to Richard Prince (no…
Russell, KS –  Look into 92 year old Bob Dole’s eyes.  No, really look.  What do you see?  Great American?  Yes.  Proud veteran?  Absolutely.  A man who lived a full and worthwhile life?  Most of us may not know the true answer to that but let’s go with “OK” on that one.
NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - Controversy has erupted in male circles coast to coast after Fox News Channel's Megyn Kelly threw a "war on women" statement and question at Republican front-runner Donald Trump early in Thursday night's debate. Was Trump immature in his response? Sure he was.
Presidential hopeful Lindsey Graham continues to test poorly at both shooting and eating things in the run-up to the GOP primaries.

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, California Governor Jerry Brown (D) urged the citizens of his state to visit out-of-state family members and friends, and "borrow some water to bring back to California." Brown explained it was the best long-term backup plan California could put forth as the state found itself in the fourth year of a historic drought.
CUPERTINO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - It's that time of year when Apple takes center stage to unveil its latest version of its products.  As expected, all eyes will be on the new iPhone 6S. Apple will likely hold a media event  on September 9, according to BuzzFeed News. Apple hasn't sent out invitations just yet,…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Billionaire Donald Trump has become even more popular with Republicans in the wake of the Republican presidential debate hosted by Fox News on Thursday, as the Republican base continued its proud tradition of confusing a candidate's arrogance with a candidate's competence. National polls conducted after the debate showed Trump was favored by an average of twenty-five percent of Republican primary voters, which was about double the support of the second most popular candidate.
Cleveland – As the waters start to swirl with GOP sharks hopeful to take over Obama’s office, some alarming trends have surfaced after the first debate.  Recent polls show that 43% of Americans say they will leave the country if their candidate does not prove successful in the next open election.
‘These thieves stole £300,000 of racing memorabilia – when they could have just bought some sleeping pills.’
The Trump campaign has fired a second high-level staffer over a failure to meet debate deadline requirements. The Tuesday deadline for selecting the candidates that would appear on stage during the first Republican debate, which will be hosted by the Fox semi-news network, created drama both inside and outside the Trump campaign.
CLEVELAND, OHIO (The Nil Admirari) - ...Fox News attempted to embarrass, humble, and knockout billionaire and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump during the prime time debate hosted by the network. For some inexplicable reason - and despite hundreds of interviews with Trump - Fox News forgot that engaging Trump was the trigger for the candidate's famous and often contradictory word salad, loud "truth telling," and general bombasity the Republican base loves.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Megyn Kelly is suing Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump for harrassment after that feisty exchange on live television in Thursday night's GOP presidential debate. The FOX News anchor, in one of the highlights of the evening, asked Trump to explain his often-disparaging comments about women. "You've called…
IRVINE, CA (The Barbed Wire) - Tired of the mainstream media ignoring the story about their videos of Planned Parenthood admitting they participate in the illegal practice of selling aborted baby body parts, The Center for Medical Progress is 'rebranding' their videos to make them more user-friendly for members of the media.
A spokesman for Sky said 'This was an extremely rare event; and we have put in place many security measures, including trip wires, air tight doors and automatically extending contracts.
“Irrational Man” – a film review by Gary Chew If you’ve never worked in an academic environment, you know … a university campus, you’ll likely not grasp some of the nuanced humor unobtrusively woven into Woody Allen’s Irrational Man. Since I was only on-campus staff (not faculty), the Wood Man’s jokes are even more obvious.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republicans across the country continued to be outraged by President Obama's comparison of Republicans who want a war with Iran to Iranian hardliners who want a war with the United States. Fox News has led the outrage by calling Obama "unAmerican," "worse than Hitler," and "that Kenyan who stole the presidency twice."
CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has softened his stance on illegal immigration. During the FOX News GOP Debate last night, the real estate mogul said he still believes in building a great wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.  However, he stated that he was very much open to building a…

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