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Philadelphia, PA –  After being given an 18th chance at being a starting quarterback in the NFL, Tim Tebow knows that this is a critical time for him to show what he can do.  Always the lightning rod, Tebow goes against most conventions people are comfortable with.  He flaunts his religious beliefs and doesn’t hide the fact that he’s left-handed.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier this morning, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) confirmed a report from last week that it did not have the authority to prevent companies from engaging in stock buybacks. SEC Chair Mary Jo White assured Americans they would all become well-acquainted with what stock buybacks were "when the economy tanks again, basically due to the same type of stock market manipulation and lack of government regulation that caused it the last time."
NEW YORK CITY--Sean Hannity, host of the Fox News program Hannity, shocked his legions of fans today when he revealed that he has been diagnosed with an extremely rare and chronic form of stupidity.  Hannity said the stupidity was at such an advanced stage when it was discovered that there is very little that can…
John Prescott has declined the role of James Bond because he felt the role was 'a bit sexist' and 'lacked the scholasticated gravitas' he would naturally bring to any performance, despite the inevitability of any public ballot for the role means that fans will overwhelmingly vote for him, particularly the ladies.
‘Kim Jong-un scares the crap outta me,’ which makes him qualified, says Trump. Speaking on Meet the Press this morning, The Donald was again in rare form, using his particular brand of “shock politics” to keep his lead in the race for the GOP nomination for President.
With Vacation, the new comedy starring Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off, opening this week in Lower under Haye, everyone is swooning at the buffness of the Hollywood superstar who came to Layer under Haye in August 2006 on a family holiday before he found fame.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee somehow escaped from the psychiatric wing he was residing in at Bellevue Hospital. Huckabee announced he wanted to make himself available to CNN so he could tell all of America he agreed with the government of Paraguay denying a 10-year-old rape victim in Asunción an abortion and forcing her to give birth to the child.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - If elected president of the United States, Republican candidate Donald Trump says he will deport all 11 million undocumented immigrants now living in the country.  And he wants to do more. He says he will seek to change the 14th Amendment that gives citizenship rights to all individuals born…
Rosie O'Donnell sent Fox News Channel's Megyn Kelly a gift basket for 1) Taking a shot at Donald Trump in the recent GOP debate, and 2) For giving her own ego a stroke or two by getting to hear her name on national TV again. It's no surprise Rosie hates Donald Trump, and the feeling is mutual.
Presidential hopeful Scott Walker unveiled a new plan today that would provide funding for Wall Street by using money raised from new college tuition fees.
DES MOINES, Iowa  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The state of Iowa holds a very special significance in any U.S. presidential elections. Because of the Iowa caucuses. The Iowa caucuses are an electoral event in which residents of the state of meet in precinct caucuses in all of its 1,682 precincts and elect delegates to…
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) warned Americans if they did not elect him president everyone would die. Graham asserted the United States would only be safe from "those very scary Muslims" under his watch.
WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Florida Jeb Bush announced his presidency would be a continuation of his brother George W. Bush's presidency in that he would send ground troops back to Iraq, reinstate torture in violation of American and international law, and make every other mistake made by his brother and more. Jeb promised Americans to ignore all of "the allegedly negative consequences" of his brother's presidency, and vowed to return America to "the golden age" of George W. Bush.
DES MOINES, Iowa (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  After weeks of campaigning and not getting anywhere close to the large crowds that have marked rival Bernie Sanders' political stomps, Democratic presidential candidate Hilly Clinton is finally conceding. Sanders has been attracting crowds of up to 20,000 in his campaign appearances while Clinton has mostly focused on…
In an episode of Dragons' Den due to be broadcast by the BBC next month it has been revealed that the Greek Government appeared before the Dragons in an effort to secure much needed funds.
Smoke inhalation from wildfires can be a problem – except when it’s pot, it seems. California is in the midst of a biblical-like drought, and state leaders have had to find ingenious ways of preserving the little water they have left. On Wednesday, Los Angeles city officials launched their latest effort: Operation Cojones.
Office workers at TechDorling Inc. have spent the last year working hard to not broach the subject of the Black Lives Matter movement.
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump met his "Uncle Bobby" at John F. Kennedy International Airport at 12:30 this morning. Trump flew his uncle in from Sumatra to help with his presidential campaign, and Uncle Bobby arrived with a large entourage of conservationists and primatologists, as well as large boxes full of fruit, bird eggs, bark, leaves, honey, shoots, and insects from home.
Boston, MA –  Last week, the great city of Boston was site to the annual PETA national conference.  You’d figure with so many radicals with a common purpose in one place, there would be nothing but agreement happening all over the place.
COLORADO (The Barbed Wire) - Doing a bang-up job of polluting the Animus River in Colorado last week has given the higher-ups at the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) a new idea for bringing revenue to the out of control agency. The agency's incompetence has left the Animus a bright mustard-yellow color, full of chemical toxins.

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