New York, NY – (satireworld.com)
One of the premier traits of a entrepreneur is the ability to spot trends while they are undiscovered and then be able to move fast in order to capture the market lead and reap the financial windfall. Without saying, the past success of presidential candidate Donald J.Trump has been his unique ability to see trends and take advantage of ways to maximize profits.

Albany, NY –
SatireWorld’s staff of writers has voted New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as it’s headliner…Douchebag-of-the-Week.

In the midst of a tumultuous month in Baton Rouge, the solution to the growing racial tensions in the city has seemingly come to light.

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com)

NASA Scientists released clarifying information, along with a hastily prepared Top Secret report, addressing the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon.

The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton print house dress and apron, was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a routine high resolution scan of the lunar surface.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - TNA projects Donald Trump will win the 2016 election and be the next President of the United States of America with 0% of voting districts reporting in all 50 states. Trump has won all of the battleground states and some formerly reliable Democratic states.

PORT ST. LUCIE, FLA — New York Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon arrived at the team’s spring training facility yesterday and d…

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com)

Kim Kardiashian (a.k.a. Kim Kartrashian) was recently selected by a Hollywood celebrity panel as being the Least Talented Person in America. This was the sixth straight win for Kim, breaking the previous record set by Paris Hilton.

The Official Guide to Big Boy's Gestures (excluding nose picks and crotch scratching).

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)
At first Cal Henry was worried about his boss Secretary of State John Kerry locking himself in the private planes lavatory for almost an hour. Pressing his ear against the door he could hear giggles and a few short laughs. Somewhat relieved that the Secretary was OK, Henry took a seat and waited for his boss to return to the seat opposite his.

Musk claimed to have never tried heroin before but he took to it like a duck to water or a Scotsman to heroin.

ROWAN COUNTY, Kentucky (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - How the paparazzis missed reporting on the 'secret meeting' between Pope Francis and Kentucky clerk Kim Davis in Washington, D.C. last week, is a mystery. Or perhaps even a miracle. Yesterday, lawyers for Davis claimed that Francis met with Davis the same day as the pontiff's historic speech to…

"Americans are going to have the most amazing, tippy-top healthcare ever; believe me. That's why Funeral Savings Accounts are non-negotiable and must be a part of the final law. A lot of people are going to need them," Trump explained exclusively to employees of Fox News and Breitbart.

A girl was saved and potentially dozens more children's lives were spared after cancer took down a serial child rapist this weekend.

Bucharest,Romania(satireworld.com)

Ruthless communist era dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were hastily exhumed today in order to give them their annual dinner of roasted potatoes and salt.

Every year since their summary execution on Christmas Day 1989, the bodies have been dug up, fed, DNA gathered, and the bodies re-buried as required by a 1990 governmental order.

Concord, NH – (satireworld.com)

The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors.
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

The heavily marked-down eternal soul of President Donald Trump’s press secretary is available for purchase at a secondhand store in a Washington, D.C., suburb.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - After last week's Houston Chronicle endorsement of Hillary Clinton which has all but devastated Donald Trump's presidential campaign, the Republican Party nominee has received two major media endorsements this week. On Monday, The Onion, the country's most reliable and respected news source, endorsed Trump's candidacy, saying that the candidate…

INDIANAPOLIS — The drills at the annual NFL Combine have long measured the speed, strength, quickness and explosiveness …

82 Year-Old Abigail Pederson of Augusta Township, Ohio took another significant step into the 21st century this week when she learned how to share her vaguely racist observations on Twitter, her family reports.

"Because it's a toilet, that's why," the Republican presidential nominee replied when asked. "Stupid question. Next question."