One week after sister city Minneapolis defunded their own police department, the city council of St. Paul, Minnesota voted unanimously today to replace their entire police force with dogs.

Imagine you're cramming for your test in fluid dynamics when you get a text: Demetri Martin is coming to your school this week...and you're opening for him.

Knick and James finally get back together now that Knick has been released from rehearsals. The guys get caught up on comic news, talk the weirdest ways people get high, and start a conversation that they should have begun a long time ago and will probably continue for quite some time.

Though both Georgia and Florida had already eased their own complete bans to permit shooters to operate at 50% of their usual kill totals, the Lone Star State is the first to re-instate the tacit consent of unfettered gunning down of civilians as they try to go about their daily lives.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Surging coronavirus cases in many areas of the United States may make it unwise to hold large family gatherings at Thanksgiving this year, particularly if elderly relatives or out-of-state travel are involved, Anthony S. Fauci, the nation’s top infectious-disease expert, told “CBS Evening News” on Wednesday. “You may have…

Blogger Lamar White Jr. joins Sunny and Jeremy to discuss Les Miles, state Sen. Troy Brown, and a couple of books about a couple of creepy guys.

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com)
Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure including Super Glue that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

Millions of Americans are preparing to dump any evidence that they were Donald Trump supporters after this election cycle.

In a press conference only slightly more unusual than the norm for The Donald, Trump had the cardboard cutout wheeled out on stage and proclaimed it to be infinitely better qualified for the job of Vice President, as well as considerable better looking than Carly Fiorina.

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) - As the entire country of America is in a somber mood because Thanksgiving cannot be celebrated in the same tradition citizens are used to due to the coronavirus pandemic, The New York Times heralded a surprise fact about President-elect Joe Biden. In a headline…

The author of over one dozen papers questioning the validity of climate change, Balling, who resides in Florida's Ft. Myers area, went on to deny that she has ever owned any outdoor furniture or that she once had a trampoline in her backyard despite reports to the contrary.

Ed Balls dancing on Strictly Comes Dancing sums up Britain in 2016 following the Brexapocalypse, according to a Remoaner speaking last night.

A collection of photographs featuring celebrities not wearing makeup shocked and sickened thousands before being taken down this morning.

Just looking at your faces, I know I’m going to end up the villain here. You want free health care for all and a tasty breakfast everyone can love, and the only thing standing in the way is me saying no. But someone has to be the adult here and say you can’t just do what you want regardless of nutrition or economics.

Fullerton CA – (SatireWorld.com)
California State University at Fullerton (Cal Fullerton) liberal arts students apparently don’t have enough to do between classes, e.g. possibly study for exams! These students adopt social causes to protest about, such as “Gender Neutrality.”

LANDOVER, Maryland--Dr. Theodore Jennings, a behavioral psychology researcher at the King-White Institute, has authored a report showing that sustained, dehumanizing childhood bullying is still the best and most effective way to unleash telekinetic abilities in children. "In spite of years of lab studies in which researchers have attempted to utilize logic games and puzzles to…

A senior officer in the Atheist Secular Army stands accused of committing war crimes in the decadeslong war against Christmas.

An unidentified member of the press asked Senator Cruz if he could confirm reports his campaign had purchased large quantities of cyanide.

The COVID-19 vaccines could change your DNA in a bunch of weird ways, some retail associates are now reporting.
































































 
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Halloween continued as normal only weeks after the country voted to leave the EU, according to zombies at the scene.